Games, humour and mock resistance

Wedding games are the part where families tease each other. The blocked gate, the stolen shoes, the water thrown at the groom and the prank on the best man all give the two sides a way to test one another, loosen the formal day and make a memory.

Blocking and bargaining

At a North Indian wedding the bride's sisters hide the groom's shoes in the joota chupai game, and he must pay to get them back. In China the bridal party at the door may require the groom to complete tasks, answer questions or hand over red packets before he can see the bride. In Nigeria and Ghana the groom's party may pay to enter, and in Korea the friends of the groom, the hamjinabi, carry a box of gifts and are made to perform before the bride's family opens the door. In Egypt and Lebanon playful blocking of the road occurs.

Pranks

In Scotland the bride may be blackened, and in Germany the Polterabend is the evening when friends smash crockery at the door to bring luck, while a couple sweeps it up together. In France the groom may be made to drink from a chamber pot of champagne and chocolate, the soupe a la grimace. In Wales the cwtch and the stealing of the bride are old jokes. These customs are meant to be kind, and they are changing as families set limits.

What play does

Mock resistance acts out the real idea that the bride's family is giving someone precious. By making the groom work and laugh, it says that he is welcome and that he is accountable. It also lets young relatives play a role in a ceremony otherwise run by elders.