Kinds of wedding custom
The rite, the vow, the betrothal, the gifts between families, the dress, the henna, the music, the feast, the blessing, the games, the family roles, the venue and the modern wedding: thirteen ways of looking at what happens at a wedding.
Ceremony and sacred ritesThe sacred act itself: the fire, the circling, the blessing, the knot, the exchange.42Vows, contracts and registrationThe promise and the paperwork: the nikah contract, the ketubah, the register, the witnesses.23Matchmaking, courtship and engagementHow a match is found, asked for and agreed: matchmakers, rings of promise, the first visit.70Bride price, dowry and giftsWhat passes between families: lobola, mahr, dowry, red envelopes, trousseau and registry. Contested practices are described with their legal status.13Wedding dress and clothingWhat the couple and the guests wear, and why: the white dress, the red sari, the kimono, the kente.43Henna, jewellery and body artHenna and turmeric, the mangalsutra and the ring, hair, crowns and the painted hand.17Music, dance and processionThe band, the drum, the first dance, the baraat and the dance that ends the night.47Feasts, food and drinkThe customs of the wedding table: the cake, the sweets, the toast, the shared cup. Not recipes.50Blessings, luck and omensRice and petals, the broom, the horseshoe, the broken glass and other ways of asking for luck.42Games, humour and mock resistanceBlocking the gate, stealing the shoes, the pranks and the teasing between the two families.6Family roles and who does whatWho gives the bride away, who walks, who stands witness, who pays and who sits where.54Venue, setting and decorationThe mandap and the chuppah, the tent, the yurt, the courtyard and the decorated room.5Modern and changing weddingsCivil, destination, elopement, mass, interfaith and same-sex weddings, and the old customs reworked.16