One idea, many places
Bride price, the dress, the veil, vows, the feast, the dance and more, compared side by side: what the same part of a wedding looks like in different countries.
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Bride price, dowry and gifts between familiesIn very many societies a marriage joins two families, and goods change hands between them: livestock, cash, gold, cloth, land or a signed promise. Practices differ sharply.15 places comparedArranged marriage, matchmaking and choosing a partnerAround the world, families, matchmakers and friends have long had a hand in who marries whom. In some places the families decide and the couple agrees, in some the couple chooses and the families approve, and in many the two shade into each other.15 places comparedThe wedding dress and what the couple wearWhat a couple wears to marry is one of the clearest signs of where, and with whom, they belong. Red is the colour of luck across much of Asia, white is the Western choice since the nineteenth century, and the Ghanaian kente, the Scottish kilt and the Korean hanbok each carry a story.16 places comparedRings, knots and tokens of promiseA ring is the best-known sign of a marriage, but it is one among many ways of binding two people: a knotted cord, a pair of bracelets, a coin, a necklace, a shared cup. Each token is a way of making a promise visible.17 places comparedVeils, crowns and the covered headCovering or crowning the head of the couple is one of the oldest wedding gestures. The bride's veil, the groom's turban, the Orthodox crowns, the Indian ghunghat and the Jewish bedeken each carry a meaning that those who keep them can explain.15 places comparedHenna, turmeric and the decorated brideBefore many weddings, the bride's hands and feet are painted with henna, and in many places the couple are rubbed with turmeric paste. The paint is a blessing, a beauty treatment and a reason for women to gather, sing and tease.15 places comparedThe wedding procession and the arrivalMany weddings are a journey. The groom rides to the bride's house on a horse, the bride is carried in a chair, a band marches through a village, a car convoy sounds its horns or a bride walks up an aisle to a march.16 places comparedVows, contracts and witnessesA wedding is also a legal and moral act. In some places the couple speak vows, in some they walk around a fire, in some a contract is signed and read, and in nearly all someone watches and signs.16 places comparedThe wedding feast, the cake and the toastA wedding is a meal before it is anything else, and in much of the world the feast is the main event. Hundreds of guests may be fed, special dishes are cooked by relatives or hired chefs, and set moments such as the first bite, the cutting of the cake and the toast mark the day.16 places comparedWedding music and the dance floorMusic and dancing run through weddings everywhere: the drummers at the head of the procession, the song of the women at the henna night, the first dance of the couple, the line dance of the guests. A wedding band is often a family's biggest hire, and the dance floor is where generations meet.16 places comparedLuck, omens and protection on the dayA wedding is a threshold, and nearly every culture treats thresholds as dangerous and hopeful at once. So couples are showered with rice, tied with threads, guarded from the evil eye, handed bread and salt, or sent over a broom.16 places comparedAuspicious dates, seasons and days to avoidFew couples choose a wedding date by the calendar alone. Hindu families consult an astrologer for a muhurat, Chinese families the almanac, Jewish couples avoid the Three Weeks and the Omer, Muslims avoid Ramadan and the days of Hajj, and Catholics and Orthodox have held back in Lent and Advent.15 places comparedBachelor nights, hen parties and showersBefore a wedding, friends often gather to send the bride or groom off with a party. They go by many names: the stag night, hen do, bachelor party, bridal shower, bachelorette, Polterabend, kitchen tea, bucks' party or just a last night out.17 places comparedParents, giving away and the in-lawsA wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house. This page looks at the roles of parents, witnesses, best men and bridesmaids, godparents and in-laws across the world, and at how they are changing.17 places comparedWedding money, envelopes and who paysWeddings cost money, and every culture has rules about who pays, what guests give and how. A hongbao in China, a buijo envelope in Korea, a busta in Italy, shagun in India, spraying in Nigeria, the dollar dance in Poland, pinned notes in Greece and the registry in the United States all solve the same problem: a wedding is expensive, and the community helps.18 places comparedInterfaith, inter-community and same-sex weddingsCouples have always married across the lines of faith, caste, ethnicity and, increasingly, gender, and the wedding has to find a form that honours both sides. This page describes how weddings cross those lines and what the law says in a few countries.17 places comparedElopement, civil, mass and destination weddingsNot every wedding is a day-long feast. Couples have always slipped away to marry quietly, married at the registry office, joined a mass ceremony run by a charity or a church, or chosen a beach, a chapel in Las Vegas or a castle abroad.16 places comparedAfter the wedding: the first night, the return visit, the honeymoonThe wedding does not end with the last dance. Across the world there are customs for the first night, the first visit home, the first meal and the first year.16 places comparedBeing a guest: what to wear, bring and sayMost people attend more weddings than they hold, and being a good guest depends on knowing a few local rules. This page gives practical advice: how to read a dress code, which colours to avoid, what to give, when to arrive, how long to expect it to last and what to say to the couple.17 places compared