Bride price, dowry and gifts

Bride price, dowry, mahr, trousseau, red envelopes and registry gifts are all ways that wealth moves at a wedding. They are among the most debated customs in the world, because the same word can describe a gift of honour, a legal right, a negotiated price or an illegal demand. This page names the customs carefully and states where they are lawful and where they are not.

Different things with similar names

Bride price is paid by the groom's side to the bride's family, as lobola in southern Africa, kalym in parts of Central Asia and mahari among the Kikuyu. Dowry flows the other way, from the bride's family to the bride or the groom's household, and is still widespread in South Asia though illegal in India under the Dowry Prohibition Act of 1961. Mahr is different again: in Islamic law it is a gift owed by the husband directly to the wife, and belongs to her. The Chinese red envelope, the Korean hahm, and the Jewish ketubah settlement each have their own logic.

Meaning and harm

Many families who pay lobola say it honours the bride's family and creates a bond between two households. Critics say it can turn a woman into property, trap her in an abusive marriage, or load the groom with debt. Dowry has been linked to violence and to pressure on the bride, and campaigns against it are active in India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Nepal. Where a custom is illegal or contested, the page says so plainly.

Gifts that stay with the bride

The trousseau, a set of linen, jewellery, clothes and household goods prepared by the bride's family, goes back centuries in Europe and the Middle East. In Greece the proika, in Italy the corredo, and in Ireland the bottom drawer all carry the idea. Today the gift registry and the honeymoon fund serve a similar purpose: helping a couple start a household.