Feasts, food and drink
The customs of the wedding table: the cake, the sweets, the toast, the shared cup. Not recipes.
The wedding feast is where the families meet at one table. Who is served first, what is shared, what is toasted and what is broken or cut are all customs with meaning. Food at a wedding is an act of hospitality and a display of generosity, and the way it is served says much about who the hosts are.
Shared foods and the first bite
In Poland the couple are greeted with bread and salt and a glass of vodka. In Georgia a tamada, the toastmaster, directs a long sequence of toasts. In Armenia and Turkey the couple may share a sweet drink or a sugar cube. In Chinese banquets a whole fish is served for abundance, and the couple go table to table for toasts. In Indian weddings the thali or the long sit-down meal comes after the ceremony, and in the Gulf a whole roast lamb on rice may be the centrepiece.
Cake and sweets
The tiered wedding cake in Britain and the United States has its roots in the Victorian era and in older bride cakes and cakes broken over the bride's head. In Sweden and Denmark a tall kransekage is built from rings of almond paste. In Iran and India, sweets such as shirini and mithai are exchanged at the first betrothal. In France the croquembouche, a tower of cream puffs, is the traditional dessert.
Drink and restraint
Wine, champagne, mead and palm wine appear in many weddings, and the Orthodox common cup is a shared symbol. Many Muslim, Sikh, Jain and Hindu weddings are alcohol free, and non-alcoholic drinks like sherbet, lassi and fruit juice are served with equal care. Hosts increasingly cater for dietary needs and think about food waste.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Background on Feasts, food and drink (kind of custom). Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
🇺🇸 United StatesGroom's cake
A second dessert served at the wedding reception or rehearsal dinner to reflect the groom's tastes.Feast custom · Reception, dance and gifts
🇨🇦 CanadaStag and doe
A Canadian fundraiser where guests pay to help the couple cover wedding costs.Feast custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇸 United StatesStack cake
A layered Appalachian dessert made of crisp molasses cakes and dried apple filling.Feast custom · Reception, dance and gifts
🇺🇸 United StatesWedding cake topper
A small figurine placed on top of a wedding cake to represent the couple.Adornment · Reception, dance and gifts
🇺🇸 Austin, United States and 5 moreBachelorette party
A pre-wedding gathering for the bride-to-be and her female friends, known as a hen party in many Commonwealth nations.Performance · The weeks before
🇺🇸 Las Vegas, United States and 5 moreBachelor party
A final celebration for the groom before his wedding, with names and customs varying by region.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇺🇸 United States and 5 moreBridal shower
A pre-wedding gift-giving party hosted for the bride by her friends and family.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇸 United StatesRehearsal dinner
A pre-wedding meal held after the final practice to thank the wedding partyFeast custom · The weeks before
🇺🇸 Pittsburgh, United States and 1 moreCookie table
A display of assorted homemade cookies served alongside the wedding cake at a reception.Feast custom · Reception, dance and gifts
🇲🇽 Oaxaca, MexicoOaxacan wedding
A multi-day Catholic celebration in Oaxaca featuring mole, mezcal, and communal dancing.Feast custom · Engagement and betrothal
Photo credits on this page
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
- Groom's cake: Derek Key, CC BY 2.0, source
- Stack cake: thebittenword.com, CC BY 2.0, source
- Wedding cake topper: Andy Mabbett, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Bachelorette party: Michael Vincent Photography for Bride's Night Out, Inc., CC BY 3.0, source
- Bachelor party: Derek Springer, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Bridal shower: The McClouds, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Cookie table: Chris Winters, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Oaxacan wedding: Adam Jones, CC BY-SA 2.0, source