Feasts, food and drink
The customs of the wedding table: the cake, the sweets, the toast, the shared cup. Not recipes.
The wedding feast is where the families meet at one table. Who is served first, what is shared, what is toasted and what is broken or cut are all customs with meaning. Food at a wedding is an act of hospitality and a display of generosity, and the way it is served says much about who the hosts are.
Shared foods and the first bite
In Poland the couple are greeted with bread and salt and a glass of vodka. In Georgia a tamada, the toastmaster, directs a long sequence of toasts. In Armenia and Turkey the couple may share a sweet drink or a sugar cube. In Chinese banquets a whole fish is served for abundance, and the couple go table to table for toasts. In Indian weddings the thali or the long sit-down meal comes after the ceremony, and in the Gulf a whole roast lamb on rice may be the centrepiece.
Cake and sweets
The tiered wedding cake in Britain and the United States has its roots in the Victorian era and in older bride cakes and cakes broken over the bride's head. In Sweden and Denmark a tall kransekage is built from rings of almond paste. In Iran and India, sweets such as shirini and mithai are exchanged at the first betrothal. In France the croquembouche, a tower of cream puffs, is the traditional dessert.
Drink and restraint
Wine, champagne, mead and palm wine appear in many weddings, and the Orthodox common cup is a shared symbol. Many Muslim, Sikh, Jain and Hindu weddings are alcohol free, and non-alcoholic drinks like sherbet, lassi and fruit juice are served with equal care. Hosts increasingly cater for dietary needs and think about food waste.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Background on Feasts, food and drink (kind of custom). Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
🇲🇲 MyanmarMarriage in Myanmar
A blend of Buddhist rites, astrological timing, and family negotiations that defines union across Myanmar's diverse ethnRite · Finding a match
🇰🇭 Cambodia and 4 moreRomvongរាំវង់ (Khmer)
A circular folk dance across Southeast Asia where couples hold hands and step in time with drums.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts
🇮🇩 Indonesia and 2 moreKenduri
A communal feast and prayer gathering held by Javanese and Malay communities to mark life events.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇻🇳 VietnamPhu Thê CakeBánh phu thê
A Vietnamese mung bean cake exchanged by the couple to wish for a happy marriageFeast custom · The ceremony
🇹🇭 ThailandKhanom Si Thuaiขนมสี่ถ้วย
A Thai wedding dessert of four sweet cups symbolizing harmony and lasting love.Feast custom · The ceremony
🇻🇳 VietnamTraditional Vietnamese weddingLễ cưới truyền thống Việt Nam
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🇮🇩 IndonesiaSlametan
A communal Javanese feast that brings neighbors together for peace and social unity.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇰🇭 Cambodia and 3 moreTugging rituals and games
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🇵🇭 Hungduan, PhilippinesPunnuk
A post-harvest tug of war held in the Hapao River to ensure a plentiful rice harvest.Play · After the wedding
Photo credits on this page
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
- Punnuk: Bernardguerrero, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Kenduri: Andreasprasetya, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Marriage in Myanmar: Thant Zin Myint, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Tugging rituals and games: Steve46814 at English Wikipedia, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Khanom Si Thuai: Siripitch Chaiyabutra, CC0, source
- Slametan: Unknown author, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Romvong: U.S. Department of Agriculture, Public domain, source
- Traditional Vietnamese wedding: Gabrielle M. Vassal, Public domain, source
- Phu Thê Cake: JeanFousrou52, CC BY-SA 4.0, source