Unity candle

Origins and history

This practice emerged in the second half of the twentieth century within American Protestant communities. There is no historical record of it in biblical texts or early apostolic writings. Its popularity likely grew after a 1981 episode of the television show General Hospital featured the ritual. Because it is a recent addition to wedding services, couples often consult their officiants to ensure it fits within the specific order of service.

How the ritual works

Two taper candles typically stand beside a larger central candle. These tapers are lit by the mothers of the bride and groom to represent their respective families. The bride and groom then use these flames to light the center candle together. Some couples extinguish the side tapers to show their lives have permanently merged, while others leave them burning to preserve their individuality within the marriage.

Catholic perspectives

The Catholic Church does not include this ritual in its official marriage liturgy. Instead, the Eucharist is emphasized as the primary symbol of Christian unity. While not explicitly banned everywhere, many dioceses discourage it during the rite itself. If permitted, guidelines suggest using a Paschal candle for lighting and keeping all candles visible on a table rather than the altar to respect sacramental traditions.

How Unity candle is kept

Two smaller candles are placed on either side of a larger central candle. Family members, usually the mothers, light the side tapers to represent the bride's and groom's families. The couple then uses these flames to light the central candle simultaneously. This act marks the moment they join their lives together. Afterward, some couples blow out the side candles to symbolize a permanent merge, while others leave them lit to honor their continued individual identities.

When and where

It occurs during the main wedding ceremony. The timing varies by church but usually follows the exchange of vows or rings. Couples must confirm with their officiant whether the ritual is allowed before including it in the program.

The custom originated and remains most common in the United States. It is primarily found in Protestant churches but occasionally appears in other Christian denominations depending on local pastoral discretion.

What Unity candle means

The ritual symbolizes the union of two individuals from different family backgrounds. The central flame represents the new marriage formed by the couple. Keeping the side candles lit emphasizes that they retain their unique identities, while extinguishing them highlights the permanence of their bond.

Who takes part

• Bride and groom: Light the central candle together
• Mothers of the couple: Light the initial family tapers
• Officiant: Oversees the ritual and explains its meaning

If you are a guest

Guests observe the lighting silently. They do not participate directly in the ritual. Their role is to witness the symbolic union of the couple. No specific attire or gifts are required for this part of the ceremony.

Then and now

The practice remains popular in secular and Protestant ceremonies. Some churches continue to restrict it due to its lack of historical roots in traditional liturgy. Couples increasingly adapt the ritual to include both parents or to align with non-religious values.

On the wedding table

Symbols: Candles and lamps Fire and the sacred flame

Questions people ask about Unity candle

See also

Blessing ceremonyThe large-scale marriage rite of the Unification Church where couples are matched and blessed by their leaders.Blessing ceremony of the Unification ChurchA large-scale marriage rededication or new union ceremony that engrafts couples into a sinless lineage.Slave marriages in the United StatesThe unions formed by enslaved African Americans before and after the abolition of slavery in the US.Jewish weddingThe ceremony and laws that bind a couple in Jewish marriage, from the canopy to the glass.

Good reading and sources

• Unity candle on WikipediaEncyclopedia
• Wikidata recordOpen data

It may contain mistakes. Wedding customs differ from one family, village and community to the next, and the people who keep them know them best. If something is wrong, tell us. Last refreshed 2026-10-05.