Vows, contracts and registration

The promise and the paperwork: the nikah contract, the ketubah, the register, the witnesses.

Vows, contracts and registration are the promise and the paperwork: what is said aloud, what is signed, who witnesses it and which authority records it. In some weddings the contract is the heart of the day, as with the nikah and the ketubah. In others the civil register is a separate visit with a separate dress.

The spoken promise

A Christian service uses set vows, such as the Book of Common Prayer's promise to have and to hold, though many couples now choose their own. A Hindu wedding has the saptapadi, in which each step is paired with a pledge about food, strength, prosperity, family, children and friendship. Sikh couples circle the Guru Granth Sahib four times during the lavan. A Quaker couple speaks directly to each other without a priest. Among Jews the groom says the formula under the canopy, and the bride accepts the ring.

The written contract

The ketubah, the nikah nama and the Zoroastrian marriage certificate are agreements with real terms: the ketubah sets out the husband's obligations to his wife, and the nikah contract records the mahr, the gift owed to the bride, along with any conditions she has added. Many Muslim women now use the contract to write in rights about work, residence and divorce. In Christian and civil weddings the register is signed by the couple and two witnesses, and the registrar then files it with the state.

Law and the faith side by side

In England and Wales a religious ceremony must usually be registered, and many mosque and temple weddings have historically lacked legal recognition, which leaves some women without protection. Countries such as Germany and France require a civil wedding first, with any religious service after. Others, such as Israel and Lebanon, have no civil marriage at home, so couples fly to Cyprus. Reform of these rules is a live issue in many places.

About this page

Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Background on Vows, contracts and registration (kind of custom). Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.

🇾🇪 Yemen and 4 moreKafa'ahالكفاءة (al-kafā'ah) The Islamic legal principle of social and religious equivalence between spouses in marriage.Vow · Finding a match 🇮🇳 India and 3 moreNikah halalaنکاح حلالہ A second marriage required for a woman to remarry her first husband after triple talaq.Vow · After the wedding 🇨🇾 Cyprus and 2 moreMarriage in Cyprus A destination for civil and religious weddings that allows interfaith couples to marry outside their home laws.Vow · The ceremony

🇰🇷 South Korea and 5 moreBlessing ceremony of the Unification ChurchHoly Marriage Blessing Ceremony (축복결혼식) A large-scale marriage rededication or new union ceremony that engrafts couples into a sinless lineage.Rite · Engagement and betrothal 🇮🇳 IndiaSambandam The traditional matrilineal marriage alliance of Kerala's Nairs and Nambudiris.Betrothal · Finding a match

🇮🇷 Iran and 1 moreNikahnikāḥ (Arabic: نِكَاح) The Islamic marriage contract that establishes a binding union between two people.Vow · Engagement and betrothal

🇮🇹 Rome, ItalyRecognition of same-sex unions in ItalyRiconoscimento delle unioni tra persone dello stesso sesso in Italia The legal framework that grants same-sex couples rights and protections in Italy.Modern

🇺🇸 United States and 5 moreMarriage proposal The moment one partner asks the other to marry them and marks the start of an engagement.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal

🇮🇱 IsraelErusinאירוסין The first stage of a Jewish marriage that consecrates the bride to the groom.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal

🇮🇹 ItalyConfarreatio The ancient Roman patrician marriage rite marked by sharing a sacred emmer cake.Rite · The ceremony 🇫🇮 FinlandSame-sex marriage in Finlandsukupuolineutraali avioliitto The legal recognition of same-sex unions that took effect in Finland on 1 March 2017.Modern · Engagement and betrothal

🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 3 moreMarriage bond A financial guarantee posted to prove a couple was legally free to marry before the ceremony took place.Vow · Engagement and betrothal 🇺🇸 Hawaii, United StatesCommon-law marriage in the United States A legal marriage formed without a licence or ceremony, in a few US jurisdictionsVow

🇮🇹 ItalyFede ring A clasped-hands ring that symbolizes betrothal and faithfulness in marriage traditions.Adornment · Engagement and betrothal

🇫🇷 France and 5 moreProxy marriage A union where one or both partners are absent and represented by another person.Vow · The ceremony

🇮🇳 India and 2 moreHindu weddingvivaha (विवाह) The traditional marriage ceremony for Hindus, centered on sacred fire and seven vows.Rite · Engagement and betrothal 🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 2 moreQuaker wedding A silent ceremony where Friends witness each other's vows without clergy or rigid rituals.Rite · The weeks before 🇫🇷 FrancePosthumous marriage in Francemariage posthume A legal union with a deceased partner, authorized by the French President for serious reasons.Vow · The ceremony 🇸🇪 Stockholm, SwedenSame-sex marriage in SwedenSambolydning i Sverige The legal recognition of same-sex unions in Sweden since 2009.Modern · Engagement and betrothal

🇺🇸 United States and 5 moreEngagement ring A ring given to signify a formal agreement to future marriage.Adornment · Engagement and betrothal 🇪🇬 EgyptNikah 'urfiنكاح العرفي An unregistered Islamic contract that allows couples to marry without state recognition or public ceremony.Betrothal · The weeks before 🇵🇭 Philippines and 5 moreElopement A secret marriage conducted without parental approval or public notice to bypass objections or legal barriers.Modern · The weeks before

🇦🇷 Buenos Aires, ArgentinaSame-sex marriage in ArgentinaMatrimonio igualitario The legal recognition of same-sex unions that made Argentina the first nation in Latin America to permit them.Modern · Engagement and betrothal

🇮🇱 Tel Aviv, IsraelSame-sex marriage in Israel Legal recognition for same-sex couples through foreign or online marriages due to the absence of civil marriage in IsraeModern · Engagement and betrothal 🇩🇪 Hamburg, Germany and 1 morePosthumous marriage in Germany A legal rite that joined a living woman to a deceased soldier for state benefits.Vow · After the wedding 🇨🇳 ChinaJiaobeijiu交杯酒 The ancient Chinese rite of sharing wine from linked cups to seal a marriage.Rite · The ceremony

🇮🇱 Israel and 2 moreKetubahכְּתוּבָּה The Jewish marriage contract that outlines the groom's financial and personal obligations to the bride.Vow · Engagement and betrothal

🇮🇳 Mumbai, India and 3 moreDowry system in Indiaदहेज (Hindi), ज़ेहर (Urdu) The transfer of cash and goods from the bride's family to the groom that has become a source of financial strain and vioGift custom · Engagement and betrothal

🇹🇼 Taipei, TaiwanSame-sex marriage in Taiwan The legal recognition of same-sex unions in Taiwan, the first in Asia.Modern · Engagement and betrothal

🇮🇳 IndiaGandharva marriageगान्धर्व विवाह (gāndharva vivāha) A consensual union between a man and a woman without rituals or family involvement.Betrothal · Finding a match

🇮🇱 Jerusalem, Israel and 5 moreInterfaith marriage in Judaismשִׁדּוּג חַלּוּץ (Shidug Chalutz) / אינטרפייט מריאז' (Interafeyt Mariyaz') The union of a Jew and a non-Jew, viewed as void by traditional law but increasingly common in modern communities.Vow · Engagement and betrothal

🇩🇪 Berlin, GermanySame-sex marriage in GermanyEhe für alle The legal recognition of same-sex marriage in Germany since 2017.Modern

🇹🇭 Bangkok, ThailandSame-sex marriage in Thailandสมรสเท่าเทียม (Somrot Thaothiam) The legal recognition of same-sex unions that took effect in January 2025.Modern · The ceremony

🇪🇸 Madrid, SpainSame-sex marriage in SpainMatrimonio entre personas del mismo sexo en España The national law that legalized same-sex marriage and adoption rights for couples in Spain.Modern · The ceremony 🇺🇸 United States and 3 moreWedding vow renewal ceremony A service where a married couple repeats their marriage promises to reaffirm their commitment.Vow · After the wedding 🇺🇸 United StatesSelf-uniting marriage A wedding where the couple marries each other without a third-party officiant.Vow · The ceremony 🇮🇱 Jerusalem, Israel and 2 moreJewish prenuptial agreement A contract signed before the wedding to ensure a Jewish divorce can happen if one spouse refuses.Vow · Engagement and betrothal 🇮🇷 Iran and 1 moreNikah mut'ahنكاح المتعة A fixed-term Shia marriage contract with an agreed length and an agreed mahrVow

🇫🇮 Finland and 5 moreBanns of marriagekuulutukset avioliittoon (Finnish) The public announcement of an impending marriage in church or town hall to allow for legal objections.Vow · The weeks before 🇲🇹 MaltaSame-sex marriage in MaltaŻwieġ bejn persuni tal-istess sess The legal recognition of same-sex marriage and civil unions in Malta.Modern · Engagement and betrothal

🇬🇧 London, United KingdomFleet marriage Secret weddings performed in London's Fleet Prison before the law required church ceremonies.Vow · The ceremony 🇨🇭 Zurich, SwitzerlandSame-sex marriage in Switzerland The legal recognition of marriage for same-sex couples following a national referendum.Modern · Engagement and betrothal

🇯🇵 Tokyo, JapanSame-sex marriage in Japan同性結婚 (dōsei kekkon) The legal battle and local partnership systems for same-sex couples in JapanModern

🇮🇱 Israel and 1 moreYibbumייבום A Jewish rite where a brother marries his childless deceased brother's widow to continue the family line.Vow · Engagement and betrothal

🇺🇸 United StatesPre-Cana The Catholic Church course that helps engaged couples prepare for the sacrament of marriage.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal 🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 3 moreCivil ceremony A secular marriage rite performed by a government official at a licensed venue.Vow · The ceremony 🇫🇷 FranceCivil solidarity pactPacte civil de solidarité (PACS) A French civil union contract that offers legal rights to couples without the full status of marriage.Vow · Engagement and betrothal

🇬🇷 Greece and 5 moreWedding ring A metal circle worn on the finger to show that a person is married.Attire · Engagement and betrothal

Photo credits on this page

The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.

Same-sex marriage in Argentina: Víctor Buggé, CC BY 2.0, source
Same-sex marriage in Spain: FELGTB Federación Estatal de Lesbianas, Gais, Trans y Bisexuales, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
Same-sex marriage in Germany: This image is a work by Wikipedia and Wikimedia Commons user C.Suthorn, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
Same-sex marriage in Israel: דוד שי, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
Ketubah: Unknown author, Public domain, source
Dowry system in India: Unknown author, Public domain, source
Gandharva marriage: Amitdighe, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
Banns of marriage: After William Hemsley, CC0, source
Blessing ceremony of the Unification Church: Unknown author, Public domain, source
Same-sex marriage in Thailand: Chainwit., CC BY-SA 4.0, source
Nikah: عامر شاہین, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
Recognition of same-sex unions in Italy: G.dallorto, Attribution, source
Fleet marriage: Unknown author, Public domain, source
Yibbum: School of Rembrandt, Public domain, source
Wedding ring: CLW at English Wikipedia, Public domain, source
Marriage proposal: Victorgrigas, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
Erusin: LGJMS, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
Same-sex marriage in Japan: User:Jedi Friend, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
Engagement ring: Photo by Derek Ramsey ( Ram-Man ), CC BY-SA 2.5, source
Pre-Cana: Jebulon, CC0, source
Interfaith marriage in Judaism: Rembrandt, Public domain, source
Marriage bond: Unknown author, Public domain, source
Proxy marriage: Alejandro Cicarelli, Public domain, source
Same-sex marriage in Taiwan: Guy of taipei, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
Fede ring: Anonymous ( Europe ) Unknown author, Public domain, source
Confarreatio: Agnete, CC BY 3.0, source
Hindu wedding: Dinesh Cyanam, CC BY-SA 2.0, source