Family roles and who does what
Who gives the bride away, who walks, who stands witness, who pays and who sits where.
A wedding is a family event first. Who walks the bride, who stands as witness, who pays, who sits at the head table and who is the best man are all roles with their own names and history. They show how a community thinks about family, and they change as families change.
Giving and receiving
Western weddings often have the father walk the bride down the aisle, a custom with roots in the transfer of authority. Hindu kanyadaan, the gift of the daughter, is performed by the bride's parents, though some now reinterpret or skip it. In Jewish weddings both sets of parents may walk the groom and the bride to the chuppah. In Muslim weddings a wali, often the father, acts for the bride, and in the Hanafi school a woman may also contract her own marriage.
Witnesses and supporters
Greek and Orthodox weddings have a koumbaros or koumbara who crowns the couple and becomes a lifelong family friend. Spanish and Latin American weddings have padrinos and madrinas who sponsor parts of the day. English weddings have the best man and the maid of honour, and Hindu weddings the bride's brother, who pours rice into her hands in the laja homa. Jewish and Muslim weddings need two witnesses.
What is changing
Mothers now often walk their daughters, couples enter together, and step-parents and same-sex parents have a clear place. Many couples pay for their own weddings. The role of in-laws is still strong in places where couples live with the husband's family, and brides are pressing for fair treatment of their own parents too.
About this page
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Background on Family roles and who does what (kind of custom). Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
🇪🇬 Egypt and 4 moreWaist beads
Strands of glass or seed worn around the hips to mark womanhood and track body changes in West and North Africa.Adornment · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇧 United KingdomGift registry
A public wish list managed by retailers to coordinate wedding gifts and prevent duplicates.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇲🇽 Mexico and 1 moreLa víbora de la mar
A wedding game where the couple stands on chairs while guests form a snake to test their unity.Play · Reception, dance and gifts
🇳🇬 Iseyin, Nigeria and 2 moreAso okeAṣọ òkè
Hand-woven cloth worn by the Yoruba for weddings and formal gatheringsAttire · The ceremony
🇩🇪 Hamburg, Germany and 3 moreWimpelווימפל
A linen sash made from a baby boy's circumcision cloth that binds the Torah scroll.Adornment · The weeks before
🇺🇸 New York, United StatesSlave marriages in the United States
The unions formed by enslaved African Americans before and after the abolition of slavery in the US.Rite · The ceremony
🇺🇦 Ukraine and 2 moreRushnykрушник (Ukrainian), ручнік (Belarusian), ручник/рушник (Russian)
The embroidered linen cloth that marks life stages and guides the couple through the wedding ceremony in East Slavic culAdornment · The weeks before
🇰🇷 South Korea and 5 moreBlessing ceremony of the Unification ChurchHoly Marriage Blessing Ceremony (축복결혼식)
A large-scale marriage rededication or new union ceremony that engrafts couples into a sinless lineage.Rite · Engagement and betrothal
🇳🇬 Lagos, Nigeria and 3 moreAso ebiAsọ-Ẹbí
Matching outfits worn by groups to show solidarity at Yoruba weddings and other ceremoniesAttire · The weeks before
🇼🇸 Samoa and 3 moreʻIe tōga
Prestige woven mats exchanged at Samoan weddings to honor family ties and chiefly status.Attire · The ceremony
🇮🇩 IndonesiaUlosᯥᯞᯘᯬ᯲
The hand-woven textile that binds Batak couples in marriage and symbolizes warmth.Attire · The ceremony
🇹🇷 Kayseri, Turkey and 4 moreHalay
A traditional line and circle dance performed across Turkey and surrounding regions at weddings.Performance · The ceremony
🇸🇿 Ludzidzini Royal Village, Eswatini and 1 moreUmhlanga
The annual Swazi and Zulu gathering where young women cut reeds to preserve chastity and offer tribute labour.Rite · The eve
🇾🇪 Yemen and 4 moreKafa'ahالكفاءة (al-kafā'ah)
The Islamic legal principle of social and religious equivalence between spouses in marriage.Vow · Finding a match
🇲🇽 Oaxaca, Mexico and 1 moreHuipilhuīpīlli
The traditional tunic worn by indigenous women in Mexico and Central America for weddings and daily life.Attire · The weeks before
🇿🇦 South AfricaUmemulo
The Zulu coming of age ceremony that marks a woman as ready for marriageRite · The weeks before
🇰🇷 Seoul, South Korea and 1 moreMarriage in KoreaKorean marriage (결혼)
A look at how Korean weddings blend ancient Confucian rites with modern legal practices.Rite · Finding a match
🇮🇷 Iran and 1 moreNikahnikāḥ (Arabic: نِكَاح)
The Islamic marriage contract that establishes a binding union between two people.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreMaithil Vivahमैथिल विवाह
The arranged Hindu marriage of Maithils in the Mithila region, guided by Vedic texts and local customs.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇬🇷 Crete, GreecePentozaliΠεντοζάλης
The vigorous Cretan war dance of high jumps and improvisation that marks the wedding procession.Performance · Procession and arrival
🇮🇩 Indonesia and 2 moreKenduri
A communal feast and prayer gathering held by Javanese and Malay communities to mark life events.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇰🇷 Seoul, South Korea and 3 moreBlessing ceremony
The large-scale marriage rite of the Unification Church where couples are matched and blessed by their leaders.Rite · The ceremony
🇮🇳 IndiaSambandam
The traditional matrilineal marriage alliance of Kerala's Nairs and Nambudiris.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇲🇾 Malaysia and 4 moreBaju Kurungباجو كوروڠ
The traditional blouse and skirt worn by Malay women for weddings and religious ceremoniesAttire · The weeks before
🇸🇬 Singapore and 3 moreMatchmaking
The practice of pairing two people for marriage through an intermediary or system.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇹🇭 Thailand and 5 moreBride price
Wealth paid by the groom or his family to the bride or her kin to formalize a union.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇰🇬 Kyrgyzstan and 2 moreAla kachuuала качуу
A Kyrgyz custom of taking a woman for marriage, ranging from consensual elopement to forced abduction.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 Delhi, India and 1 moreBaraat
The groom's wedding procession through the streets to the bride's home or venue.Performance · Procession and arrival
🇮🇪 Ireland and 1 moreHandfastingceangal na lámh (Irish); pòsadh-bliadhna (Scottish Gaelic)
A pledge ceremony where a couple joins hands to make a binding marriage contract or engagement.Rite · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 IndiaGaye holudগায়ে হলুদ
The turmeric ceremony that prepares the Bengali bride and groom for marriageRite · The weeks before
🇮🇱 IsraelErusinאירוסין
The first stage of a Jewish marriage that consecrates the bride to the groom.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreChuraचूरा (Hindi)
The red and white bangles that mark a bride's new status in Indian Hindu weddingsAttire · The weeks before
🇨🇳 Shanghai, ChinaShanghai Marriage Market人民公园相亲角 (Rénmín Gōngyuán Xiāngqīn Jiǎo)
Parents pin written profiles of their unmarried children to strings in a Shanghai parkBetrothal · Finding a match
🇮🇳 IndiaSakharpuda
The Maharashtrian engagement rite where sugar and coconuts seal a verbal promise between families.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Jerusalem, Israel and 2 moreJewish prenuptial agreement
A contract signed before the wedding to ensure a Jewish divorce can happen if one spouse refuses.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇯🇵 Tokyo, JapanSame-sex marriage in Japan同性結婚 (dōsei kekkon)
The legal battle and local partnership systems for same-sex couples in JapanModern
🇷🇺 Russia and 5 moreBread and salt
A traditional welcome offering of bread and salt to guests or newlyweds in Slavic, Baltic, and Balkan cultures.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇸🇸 South Sudan and 1 moreGhost marriage in South Sudan
A union where a living brother stands in for a deceased groom to secure lineage and wealth.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 2 moreQuaker wedding
A silent ceremony where Friends witness each other's vows without clergy or rigid rituals.Rite · The weeks before
🇮🇱 Jerusalem, Israel and 5 moreInterfaith marriage in Judaismשִׁדּוּג חַלּוּץ (Shidug Chalutz) / אינטרפייט מריאז' (Interafeyt Mariyaz')
The union of a Jew and a non-Jew, viewed as void by traditional law but increasingly common in modern communities.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 IndiaGauna
The ceremony that marks the start of conjugal life in northern Indian Hindu marriages.Rite · After the wedding
🇹🇴 Tonga and 2 moreTaʻovala
The woven pandanus mat worn around the waist for formal occasions and weddings in Tonga.Attire · The weeks before
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 3 moreMarriage bond
A financial guarantee posted to prove a couple was legally free to marry before the ceremony took place.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇵🇭 PhilippinesPamamanhikan
The formal visit by the groom's family to ask the bride's parents for her hand in marriage.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇫🇷 France and 5 moreProxy marriage
A union where one or both partners are absent and represented by another person.Vow · The ceremony
🇨🇳 China and 1 moreGhost marriage冥婚 (mínghūn)
A union arranged for deceased individuals to ensure harmony in the afterlife and care in this one.Rite · Finding a match
🇿🇦 South Africa and 1 moreLobololobola (Zulu, Xhosa, Swazi, Ndebele), mahadi (Sesotho), mahari (Swahili), magadi (Sepedi), bogadi (Setswana), lovola (Xi
The livestock or cash payment from a groom's family to a bride's family that formalizes a customary marriage in SouthernGift custom · Finding a match
🇲🇷 Mauritania and 5 moreLeblouhالبلوح
The forced fattening of girls to improve their marriage prospects, a harmful practiceBetrothal · Finding a match
Photo credits on this page
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
- Ala kachuu: Illus. in: Turkestanskii al'bom, chast' étnograficheskaia: ..., 1871-1, Public domain, source
- Korovai: Olli Niemitalo, CC0, source
- Marriage in Korea: Jérôme Banal ( Eden2004 ), CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Baju Kurung: Ministry of Information official photographer, Public domain, source
- Wimpel: Wikipedia Loves Art participant " The_Grotto ", CC BY-SA 2.5, source
- Slave marriages in the United States: An 1899 illustration of a broomstick wedding. Schomburg Center for Res, Public domain, source
- Blessing ceremony of the Unification Church: Unknown author, Public domain, source
- Umhlanga: Amada44, Public domain, source
- Kenduri: Andreasprasetya, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Blessing ceremony: Farragutful, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Waist beads: Amuzujoe, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Maithil Vivah: Sntshkumar750, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Nikah: عامر شاہین, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Aso oke: Wolf D., Public domain, source
- Shanghai Marriage Market: Jpbowen, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Rushnyk: Pavlo Boyko, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Aso ebi: SUPREME LACE, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- ʻIe tōga: Sarah Kelemen, CC BY 2.0, source
- Ulos: Boy Lawson, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Halay: Post of Moldova, Public domain, source
- Handfasting: Sander van der Wel, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Huipil: Gift in memory of Elizabeth Ege Freudenheim, No restrictions, source
- Matchmaking: Pavel Fedotov, Public domain, source
- Bride price: Пимоненко Николай Корнилиевич, Public domain, source
- Erusin: LGJMS, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Baraat: https://www.flickr.com/photos/pnglife/, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Gaye holud: Arr4, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Same-sex marriage in Japan: User:Jedi Friend, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Interfaith marriage in Judaism: Rembrandt, Public domain, source
- Taʻovala: James Foster, CC BY-SA 2.5, source
- Marriage bond: Unknown author, Public domain, source
- Proxy marriage: Alejandro Cicarelli, Public domain, source
- Lobolo: Iwuala Lucy, CC BY-SA 4.0, source