The weeks before
Invitations, the trousseau, the bridal shower, the bachelor night and the purifying baths.
The weeks before a wedding are a time of preparation: invitations, tailoring, shopping, cleaning the house, cooking and gathering family. Many cultures have rites in this period, from the bridal shower to purifying baths, and they are often held among women or among friends.
Invitations and gifts
Invitations range from printed cards to the traditional Indian practice of first inviting the deity Ganesha and then the family in person with sweets. In Ethiopia and many Arab families, relatives are invited verbally and in person. In parts of China, the groom's family sends cakes and tea to relatives. The trousseau is assembled, and in India and Pakistan a shopping trip for gold, cloth and gifts may take weeks.
Showers, stag nights and baths
Western brides may have a hen party and a bridal shower, and grooms a bachelor party or stag night. In Morocco and the Levant the bride visits the hammam with female relatives for a ritual bath. In Hindu tradition haldi and oil are applied. In Scotland the bride's friends may have a kitchen tea, and in Poland the panieński, the maiden evening, is held before the wedding.
What is changing
Pre-wedding events have expanded, with engagement shoots, destination bachelorette trips and multi-day celebrations. Many families now plan with shared online documents. Others scale back because of cost and keep only the core rite.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Background on The weeks before (stage of the wedding). Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
🇲🇾 Malaysia and 4 moreBaju Kurungباجو كوروڠ
The traditional blouse and skirt worn by Malay women for weddings and religious ceremoniesAttire · The weeks before
🇮🇩 Indonesia and 2 moreKenduri
A communal feast and prayer gathering held by Javanese and Malay communities to mark life events.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇮🇩 Jakarta, IndonesiaPalang pintu
The martial arts and poetry test that allows the groom to enter the bride's home in Betawi weddings.Rite · The weeks before
🇹🇭 Thailand and 5 moreBride price
Wealth paid by the groom or his family to the bride or her kin to formalize a union.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇻🇳 VietnamTraditional Vietnamese weddingLễ cưới truyền thống Việt Nam
The multi-stage ceremony of betrothal, engagement and union that marks a marriage in Vietnam.Attire · Finding a match
🇧🇳 BruneiBrunei Malay wedding
The sequence of ceremonies that mark the engagement and marriage of Brunei Malays.Rite · Finding a match
🇮🇩 Lombok, IndonesiaMerariq
A Sasak ritual in Lombok where the groom takes the bride to his home with family consent.Rite · The weeks before
🇵🇭 Philippines and 5 moreElopement
A secret marriage conducted without parental approval or public notice to bypass objections or legal barriers.Modern · The weeks before
🇮🇩 IndonesiaSlametan
A communal Javanese feast that brings neighbors together for peace and social unity.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇵🇭 Cebu, PhilippinesCourtship in the Philippines
A traditional Filipino courtship marked by serenade, service, and family involvement.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇮🇩 Indonesia and 4 morePantunڤنتون
A Malayic oral poetry form used in wedding greetings and daily communication to express ideas through rhyme.Performance · Engagement and betrothal
🇵🇭 Quezon City, PhilippinesBinukot
A Visayan custom of secluding young noblewomen to preserve their purity and elevate their marriage value.Betrothal · The weeks before
🇰🇭 Cambodia and 3 moreTugging rituals and games
A rope-pulling game played across Southeast and East Asia to mark the farming season and build community bonds.Play · The weeks before
🇻🇳 Hội An, VietnamBài Chòi
A sung card game played in huts during Vietnamese New Year festivalsPerformance · The weeks before
Photo credits on this page
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
- Pantun: Nurmalinda Maharfar, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Palang pintu: Gunawan Kartapranata, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Tugging rituals and games: Steve46814 at English Wikipedia, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Bài Chòi: Lưu Ly ( thảo luận ), CC BY 3.0, source
- Courtship in the Philippines: Markytour777, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Binukot: Francisco Ignacio Alcina, Public domain, source
- Bride price: Пимоненко Николай Корнилиевич, Public domain, source
- Baju Kurung: Ministry of Information official photographer, Public domain, source
- Traditional Vietnamese wedding: Gabrielle M. Vassal, Public domain, source
- Slametan: Unknown author, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Kenduri: Andreasprasetya, CC BY-SA 4.0, source