A wedding is a meal before it is anything else, and in much of the world the feast is the main event.
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A wedding is a meal before it is anything else, and in much of the world the feast is the main event. Hundreds of guests may be fed, special dishes are cooked by relatives or hired chefs, and set moments such as the first bite, the cutting of the cake and the toast mark the day. The food carries wishes: sweetness, plenty, fertility, long life, and respect for the guests.
Feeding guests well is a duty of the hosts. In India the wedding meal may include dozens of dishes, a vegetarian menu in many Hindu and Jain families, and sweets such as ladoo, jalebi and rasgulla. In Pakistan, the main meal may be biryani, korma and kheer. In Ethiopia and Eritrea the guests share injera and wat, and in Georgia the supra is led by a toastmaster, the tamada. Eating together is a sign that the two families have become one household.
The tiered cake, with the couple cutting the first slice together, is a Western habit that has spread worldwide, sometimes in the shape of a local dessert. Other cultures have their own sweet: the Greek koufeta (sugared almonds), the Italian confetti, the Indian mithai, the Moroccan briouats and pastries, the Chinese tangyuan, sweet glutinous dumplings, and the Filipino and Polish bread. Sugar signals sweetness in the marriage, and sugared almonds are given to guests in many countries, often in odd numbers.
A toast to the couple is made across Europe and the Americas, usually by the best man, the parents and friends. In Georgia the tamada proposes many toasts in a set order. Some communities have a shared cup: the Jewish couple drink wine, the Japanese couple drink sake in san-san-kudo, and the Armenian couple eat bread and salt. In dry communities, juice, tea, milk, sherbet and coffee play the role. Beverage customs, including no alcohol, are matters of faith and personal choice.
The feast can be the largest cost of the wedding. Families across the world save for years, share the cost among relatives, or ask guests for gifts of money to help pay. Today couples are trimming the guest list, choosing a buffet or a street-food stall, and sometimes holding a smaller meal for family and a larger party later. Food allergies, diets and halal, kosher or vegetarian needs are now taken seriously. In many places leftover food is collected for charity.
A North Indian wedding meal often includes dal makhani, paneer, breads and sweets, served buffet-style, and the groom's family is traditionally served first. In the South, a sadya or feast is served on a banana leaf, with the host family serving the guests.
Sadya, being writtenThe bou bhat is the meal the groom's family gives for the bride after the wedding, and the biye barir meal at the bride's home includes rice, meat, fish and sweets. Guests are served in rounds.
Bengali cuisine, being writtenIn many Javanese weddings the couple feed each other the dulang, a ritual of feeding each other yellow rice and the delicacies. Large meals are served from stalls, and the guests give an envelope of money.
Javanese culture, being writtenThe wedding banquet in the restaurant has many courses, among them roast chicken, soup and sticky rice, and the couple go from table to table with the glasses. Red envelopes are given to the couple.
Vietnamese cuisine, being writtenThe banquet, usually of eight to ten courses, includes fish for abundance, a whole chicken for the phoenix and dragon, and sweet lotus seeds and dates for children. The couple tour the tables to toast and may change clothes several times.
Chinese marriage, being writtenAfter the ceremony the couple and guests eat noodles, called guksu, a symbol of long life, in the traditional banquet, the jan-chi guksu. Today the hall serves buffet, and the couple exchange cups of wine.
Janchi guksu, being writtenAlso part of it, and being written: Wedding cake (The cake and its history.), Supra (The Georgian feast led by a tamada.), Sadya (The Kerala banquet on a banana leaf.), Chinese marriage (The multi-course banquet.), Black cake (The Caribbean wedding fruitcake.), Lovo (The Fijian earth oven.), Jordan almonds (Sugared almonds.).
In Britain it is the meal after the ceremony, whatever the time of day.
They are a sweetness blessing and a favour given in Greece, Italy, France and other countries. The bitter almond inside the sugar is read as the part of life that is not sweet.
It varies: the bride's family in some places, the groom's in others, both families, the couple or the guests through gifts. Money customs are covered on the money page.
Yes, many couples now choose a picnic, street-food stalls or a potluck, and it is a matter of what the families wish.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
The traditions written up so far, best known first.
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The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
Every week: one wedding tradition from somewhere new, the wedding days coming up around the world, and one idea explained.
