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EveryShaadi

The wedding feast, the cake and the toast

A wedding is a meal before it is anything else, and in much of the world the feast is the main event.

A wedding is a meal before it is anything else, and in much of the world the feast is the main event. Hundreds of guests may be fed, special dishes are cooked by relatives or hired chefs, and set moments such as the first bite, the cutting of the cake and the toast mark the day. The food carries wishes: sweetness, plenty, fertility, long life, and respect for the guests.

Food as a gift

Feeding guests well is a duty of the hosts. In India the wedding meal may include dozens of dishes, a vegetarian menu in many Hindu and Jain families, and sweets such as ladoo, jalebi and rasgulla. In Pakistan, the main meal may be biryani, korma and kheer. In Ethiopia and Eritrea the guests share injera and wat, and in Georgia the supra is led by a toastmaster, the tamada. Eating together is a sign that the two families have become one household.

The cake and the sweet

The tiered cake, with the couple cutting the first slice together, is a Western habit that has spread worldwide, sometimes in the shape of a local dessert. Other cultures have their own sweet: the Greek koufeta (sugared almonds), the Italian confetti, the Indian mithai, the Moroccan briouats and pastries, the Chinese tangyuan, sweet glutinous dumplings, and the Filipino and Polish bread. Sugar signals sweetness in the marriage, and sugared almonds are given to guests in many countries, often in odd numbers.

The toast and the shared cup

A toast to the couple is made across Europe and the Americas, usually by the best man, the parents and friends. In Georgia the tamada proposes many toasts in a set order. Some communities have a shared cup: the Jewish couple drink wine, the Japanese couple drink sake in san-san-kudo, and the Armenian couple eat bread and salt. In dry communities, juice, tea, milk, sherbet and coffee play the role. Beverage customs, including no alcohol, are matters of faith and personal choice.

Money, scale and change

The feast can be the largest cost of the wedding. Families across the world save for years, share the cost among relatives, or ask guests for gifts of money to help pay. Today couples are trimming the guest list, choosing a buffet or a street-food stall, and sometimes holding a smaller meal for family and a larger party later. Food allergies, diets and halal, kosher or vegetarian needs are now taken seriously. In many places leftover food is collected for charity.

The wedding feast, the cake and the toast around the world

🇮🇳 India

A North Indian wedding meal often includes dal makhani, paneer, breads and sweets, served buffet-style, and the groom's family is traditionally served first. In the South, a sadya or feast is served on a banana leaf, with the host family serving the guests.

Sadya, being written

🇧🇩 Bangladesh

The bou bhat is the meal the groom's family gives for the bride after the wedding, and the biye barir meal at the bride's home includes rice, meat, fish and sweets. Guests are served in rounds.

Bengali cuisine, being written

🇮🇩 Indonesia

In many Javanese weddings the couple feed each other the dulang, a ritual of feeding each other yellow rice and the delicacies. Large meals are served from stalls, and the guests give an envelope of money.

Javanese culture, being written

🇻🇳 Vietnam

The wedding banquet in the restaurant has many courses, among them roast chicken, soup and sticky rice, and the couple go from table to table with the glasses. Red envelopes are given to the couple.

Vietnamese cuisine, being written

🇨🇳 China

The banquet, usually of eight to ten courses, includes fish for abundance, a whole chicken for the phoenix and dragon, and sweet lotus seeds and dates for children. The couple tour the tables to toast and may change clothes several times.

Chinese marriage, being written

🇰🇷 South Korea

After the ceremony the couple and guests eat noodles, called guksu, a symbol of long life, in the traditional banquet, the jan-chi guksu. Today the hall serves buffet, and the couple exchange cups of wine.

Janchi guksu, being written

Compare all 16 places

Traditions to start with

Also part of it, and being written: Wedding cake (The cake and its history.), Supra (The Georgian feast led by a tamada.), Sadya (The Kerala banquet on a banana leaf.), Chinese marriage (The multi-course banquet.), Black cake (The Caribbean wedding fruitcake.), Lovo (The Fijian earth oven.), Jordan almonds (Sugared almonds.).

Questions people ask

What is a wedding breakfast?

In Britain it is the meal after the ceremony, whatever the time of day.

Why are sugared almonds given?

They are a sweetness blessing and a favour given in Greece, Italy, France and other countries. The bitter almond inside the sugar is read as the part of life that is not sweet.

Who pays for the feast?

It varies: the bride's family in some places, the groom's in others, both families, the couple or the guests through gifts. Money customs are covered on the money page.

Can a wedding feast be informal?

Yes, many couples now choose a picnic, street-food stalls or a potluck, and it is a matter of what the families wish.

About this page

Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.

The wedding feast, the cake and the toast on EveryShaadi

The traditions written up so far, best known first.

🇬🇷 Greece and 1 moreKalamatianosΚαλαματιανός A popular Greek folk dance performed in a chain at weddings and social gatheringsPerformance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇨🇭 Switzerland and 5 moreChicken DanceDer Ententanz A novelty polka song and accompanying hand movements performed at weddings and festivals.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇹🇷 TurkeyHoronχορόν (Pontic Greek) The fast shoulder-shimmying line dance of the Eastern Black Sea Region performed at weddings and festivalsPerformance · The wedding feast 🇵🇸 Ramallah, Palestine and 4 moreDabkeدبكة A Levantine line dance performed at weddings to celebrate union and community.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇸🇳 Senegal and 2 moreSabar The Senegalese drum that drives the music and dance at Wolof weddingsPerformance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇦🇴 Luanda, Angola and 4 moreKizomba A slow, sensual partner dance from Angola that turns wedding parties into intimate social gatherings.Performance · The wedding feast 🇹🇷 Kayseri, Turkey and 4 moreHalay A traditional line and circle dance performed across Turkey and surrounding regions at weddings.Performance · The ceremony 🇲🇱 MaliWeddings in Mali Multi-day Malian wedding traditions blending Islamic rites, civil law, and local customs with bazin attire.Rite · Engagement and betrothal 🇪🇹 EthiopiaEskistaእስክስታ The shoulder dance of the Amhara people that brings joy to Ethiopian weddingsPerformance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇧🇬 Bulgaria and 5 moreBulgarian wedding musicсватбарска музика Fast-paced instrumental music played at Bulgarian weddings that blends folk, Romani, and Turkish styles.Performance · The ceremony 🇦🇿 AzerbaijanAzerbaijani wedding traditionsAzərbaycanın toy adətləri The multi-step family rituals of Azerbaijani weddings, from matchmaking to the henna night.Rite · Finding a match 🇷🇴 Romania and 7 moreHorahora (Romanian), horo (Bulgarian), oro (Macedonian), horah (Hebrew) A circle dance held at weddings across Southeast Europe and among Jewish communities worldwide.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇲🇽 Oaxaca, MexicoOaxacan wedding A multi-day Catholic celebration in Oaxaca featuring mole, mezcal, and communal dancing.Feast custom · Engagement and betrothal 🇺🇦 Ukraine and 4 moreKorovaiкоровай (Ukrainian), каравай (Russian), кравай (Bulgarian) A large round braided bread shared at weddings to bless the couple and unite the community.Feast custom · The ceremony 🇵🇱 Poland and 1 moreBadchenבּדחן (badkhn) The Ashkenazi Jewish wedding entertainer and master of ceremonies who guides the couple through ritual stages with song Performance · Engagement and betrothal 🇦🇲 Armenia and 1 moreKochariՔոչարի A circle dance from the Armenian Highlands that marks weddings and community gatherings.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇸🇾 Syria and 3 moreAssyrian wedding Marriage ceremonies blending ancient Assyrian rites with modern cultural practices among the Assyrian people.Rite · Finding a match 🇷🇸 Serbia and 2 moreKoloКоло A South Slavic circle dance performed at weddings and social gatherings across the Balkans.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇩🇪 GermanyGroßvatertanz A traditional Saxon dance played at the end of wedding celebrations to mark the finale.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇧🇩 Bangladesh and 1 moreBengali Muslim weddingবাঙালি মুসলিম বিয়ে A multi-day Bengali Muslim marriage blending Islamic rites with local folk traditions.Rite · The weeks before 🇭🇳 Honduras and 1 moreMatamuerte A humorous Garifuna dance about finding a body on the beachPerformance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇹🇷 Turkey and 5 moreKarsilamaskarşılama (Turkish), καρσιλαμάς (Greek) A face-to-face folk dance in 9/8 time that marks the joy of wedding gatherings across the Aegean.Performance · The wedding feast 🇮🇳 India and 1 moreLuddi A circle dance of Punjab performed at weddings and celebrations by men and women.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇷🇸 Serbia and 5 moreČočekčočек (Serbian/Macedonian), кючек (Bulgarian), çyçek/qyqek (Albanian), sistemul (Romanian), Tsifteteli (Greek) A Balkan wedding dance with a distinctive nine-beat rhythm, kept alive by Romani musicians and village celebrations.Performance · The wedding feast 🇺🇬 UgandaBakisimba A lively Baganda circle dance performed at weddings and royal ceremonies in Uganda.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇬🇧 Newquay, United KingdomTroyl A Cornish barn dance or social gathering featuring music, song, and communal dancing.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇷🇴 Romania and 5 moreKlezmerקלעזמער The instrumental wedding music of Ashkenazi Jews, blending Eastern European and Jewish ritual melodies.Performance · Engagement and betrothal

Photo credits on this page

The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.

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