Vows, contracts and registration

Vows, contracts and registration are the promise and the paperwork: what is said aloud, what is signed, who witnesses it and which authority records it. In some weddings the contract is the heart of the day, as with the nikah and the ketubah. In others the civil register is a separate visit with a separate dress.

The spoken promise

A Christian service uses set vows, such as the Book of Common Prayer's promise to have and to hold, though many couples now choose their own. A Hindu wedding has the saptapadi, in which each step is paired with a pledge about food, strength, prosperity, family, children and friendship. Sikh couples circle the Guru Granth Sahib four times during the lavan. A Quaker couple speaks directly to each other without a priest. Among Jews the groom says the formula under the canopy, and the bride accepts the ring.

The written contract

The ketubah, the nikah nama and the Zoroastrian marriage certificate are agreements with real terms: the ketubah sets out the husband's obligations to his wife, and the nikah contract records the mahr, the gift owed to the bride, along with any conditions she has added. Many Muslim women now use the contract to write in rights about work, residence and divorce. In Christian and civil weddings the register is signed by the couple and two witnesses, and the registrar then files it with the state.

Law and the faith side by side

In England and Wales a religious ceremony must usually be registered, and many mosque and temple weddings have historically lacked legal recognition, which leaves some women without protection. Countries such as Germany and France require a civil wedding first, with any religious service after. Others, such as Israel and Lebanon, have no civil marriage at home, so couples fly to Cyprus. Reform of these rules is a live issue in many places.