Vows, contracts and registration
The promise and the paperwork: the nikah contract, the ketubah, the register, the witnesses.
Vows, contracts and registration are the promise and the paperwork: what is said aloud, what is signed, who witnesses it and which authority records it. In some weddings the contract is the heart of the day, as with the nikah and the ketubah. In others the civil register is a separate visit with a separate dress.
The spoken promise
A Christian service uses set vows, such as the Book of Common Prayer's promise to have and to hold, though many couples now choose their own. A Hindu wedding has the saptapadi, in which each step is paired with a pledge about food, strength, prosperity, family, children and friendship. Sikh couples circle the Guru Granth Sahib four times during the lavan. A Quaker couple speaks directly to each other without a priest. Among Jews the groom says the formula under the canopy, and the bride accepts the ring.
The written contract
The ketubah, the nikah nama and the Zoroastrian marriage certificate are agreements with real terms: the ketubah sets out the husband's obligations to his wife, and the nikah contract records the mahr, the gift owed to the bride, along with any conditions she has added. Many Muslim women now use the contract to write in rights about work, residence and divorce. In Christian and civil weddings the register is signed by the couple and two witnesses, and the registrar then files it with the state.
Law and the faith side by side
In England and Wales a religious ceremony must usually be registered, and many mosque and temple weddings have historically lacked legal recognition, which leaves some women without protection. Countries such as Germany and France require a civil wedding first, with any religious service after. Others, such as Israel and Lebanon, have no civil marriage at home, so couples fly to Cyprus. Reform of these rules is a live issue in many places.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Background on Vows, contracts and registration (kind of custom). Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
🇮🇳 India and 5 moreDowry
A payment of wealth from the bride's family to the groom or his household at marriage.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 IndiaGandharva marriageगान्धर्व विवाह (gāndharva vivāha)
A consensual union between a man and a woman without rituals or family involvement.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreAnand Karajਅਨੰਦ ਕਾਰਜ
The Sikh wedding rite where the couple circles the Guru Granth Sahib to four hymns of union.Rite · Procession and arrival
🇮🇳 Mumbai, India and 3 moreDowry system in Indiaदहेज (Hindi), ज़ेहर (Urdu)
The transfer of cash and goods from the bride's family to the groom that has become a source of financial strain and vioGift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 India and 2 moreHindu weddingvivaha (विवाह)
The traditional marriage ceremony for Hindus, centered on sacred fire and seven vows.Rite · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 IndiaDaiva marriageदैवविवाह (Daivavivāha)
An ancient Hindu rite where a daughter is given to the priest who officiates her father's sacrifice.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 IndiaSaptapadiसप्तपदी (Saptapadī)
The seven steps or rounds around the sacred fire that complete a Hindu marriage.Rite · The ceremony
🇧🇩 BangladeshPolygamy in Bangladesh
The practice of men taking multiple wives, regulated by different laws for Muslims and Hindus.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇲🇻 MaldivesPolygamy in the Maldives
The legal practice allowing men to marry multiple wives under strict financial conditions.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇵🇰 Lahore, Pakistan and 1 morePolygamy in Pakistan
The legal allowance for Muslim men to have up to four wives under Pakistani law.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 Kinnaur, IndiaPolyandry in India
A practice where a woman has multiple husbands at the same time, found in specific Indian communities.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇱🇰 Kandy, Sri LankaPolygamy in Sri Lanka
The historical and current legal status of multiple marriages under Kandyan and Muslim law.Vow
🇳🇵 NepalInter-caste marriage in Nepalअन्तरजातीय विवाह
Marriage across caste lines in a society where such unions were once illegal and remain socially contested.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇱🇰 Kandy, Sri LankaKandyan marriage
The traditional union rites of Sri Lanka's Buddhist Kandyan community, defined by residence and inheritance.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇵🇰 Pakistan and 5 moreCousin marriage
A union between people who share a grandparent or recent ancestor, practiced in many regions and communities.Vow · Finding a match
🇮🇳 India and 3 moreInter-caste marriage
A union between people of different castes, often contested in South Asia.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
Photo credits on this page
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
- Gandharva marriage: Amitdighe, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Laavaan: Ashish 100, CC BY 2.0, source
- Polyandry in India: Raja Ravi Varma, Public domain, source
- Cousin marriage: 綾絲, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Saptapadi: Bhumish143, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Inter-caste marriage in Nepal: Sajan Pundit, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Dowry: Vassili Vladimirovich Pukiryov, Public domain, source
- Dowry system in India: Unknown author, Public domain, source
- Hindu wedding: Dinesh Cyanam, CC BY-SA 2.0, source