Vows, contracts and registration
The promise and the paperwork: the nikah contract, the ketubah, the register, the witnesses.
Vows, contracts and registration are the promise and the paperwork: what is said aloud, what is signed, who witnesses it and which authority records it. In some weddings the contract is the heart of the day, as with the nikah and the ketubah. In others the civil register is a separate visit with a separate dress.
The spoken promise
A Christian service uses set vows, such as the Book of Common Prayer's promise to have and to hold, though many couples now choose their own. A Hindu wedding has the saptapadi, in which each step is paired with a pledge about food, strength, prosperity, family, children and friendship. Sikh couples circle the Guru Granth Sahib four times during the lavan. A Quaker couple speaks directly to each other without a priest. Among Jews the groom says the formula under the canopy, and the bride accepts the ring.
The written contract
The ketubah, the nikah nama and the Zoroastrian marriage certificate are agreements with real terms: the ketubah sets out the husband's obligations to his wife, and the nikah contract records the mahr, the gift owed to the bride, along with any conditions she has added. Many Muslim women now use the contract to write in rights about work, residence and divorce. In Christian and civil weddings the register is signed by the couple and two witnesses, and the registrar then files it with the state.
Law and the faith side by side
In England and Wales a religious ceremony must usually be registered, and many mosque and temple weddings have historically lacked legal recognition, which leaves some women without protection. Countries such as Germany and France require a civil wedding first, with any religious service after. Others, such as Israel and Lebanon, have no civil marriage at home, so couples fly to Cyprus. Reform of these rules is a live issue in many places.
About this page
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Background on Vows, contracts and registration (kind of custom). Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
🇮🇹 Rome, ItalyRecognition of same-sex unions in ItalyRiconoscimento delle unioni tra persone dello stesso sesso in Italia
The legal framework that grants same-sex couples rights and protections in Italy.Modern
🇫🇷 FranceCivil solidarity pactPacte civil de solidarité (PACS)
A French civil union contract that offers legal rights to couples without the full status of marriage.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇲🇹 MaltaSame-sex marriage in MaltaŻwieġ bejn persuni tal-istess sess
The legal recognition of same-sex marriage and civil unions in Malta.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇪🇸 Madrid, SpainSame-sex marriage in SpainMatrimonio entre personas del mismo sexo en España
The national law that legalized same-sex marriage and adoption rights for couples in Spain.Modern · The ceremony
🇩🇪 Berlin, GermanySame-sex marriage in GermanyEhe für alle
The legal recognition of same-sex marriage in Germany since 2017.Modern
🇸🇪 Stockholm, SwedenSame-sex marriage in SwedenSambolydning i Sverige
The legal recognition of same-sex unions in Sweden since 2009.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇫🇷 FrancePosthumous marriage in Francemariage posthume
A legal union with a deceased partner, authorized by the French President for serious reasons.Vow · The ceremony
🇫🇮 Finland and 5 moreBanns of marriagekuulutukset avioliittoon (Finnish)
The public announcement of an impending marriage in church or town hall to allow for legal objections.Vow · The weeks before
🇬🇧 London, United KingdomFleet marriage
Secret weddings performed in London's Fleet Prison before the law required church ceremonies.Vow · The ceremony
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 2 moreQuaker wedding
A silent ceremony where Friends witness each other's vows without clergy or rigid rituals.Rite · The weeks before
🇫🇷 France and 5 moreProxy marriage
A union where one or both partners are absent and represented by another person.Vow · The ceremony
🇩🇪 Germany and 4 moreDower
A share of the husband's property set aside to secure a woman's life if he dies first.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇸 IcelandSame-sex marriage in Icelandsamkynja hjónaband
The legal union of two people regardless of gender, established in Iceland in 2010.Modern · The ceremony
🇨🇭 Zurich, SwitzerlandSame-sex marriage in Switzerland
The legal recognition of marriage for same-sex couples following a national referendum.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇷 Greece and 5 moreWedding ring
A metal circle worn on the finger to show that a person is married.Attire · Engagement and betrothal
🇫🇮 FinlandSame-sex marriage in Finlandsukupuolineutraali avioliitto
The legal recognition of same-sex unions that took effect in Finland on 1 March 2017.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 3 moreMarriage bond
A financial guarantee posted to prove a couple was legally free to marry before the ceremony took place.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 3 moreCivil ceremony
A secular marriage rite performed by a government official at a licensed venue.Vow · The ceremony
🇵🇹 Lisbon, PortugalSame-sex marriage in PortugalCasamento entre pessoas do mesmo sexo
The legal recognition of marriage between two people of the same sex in Portugal.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇩🇪 Hamburg, Germany and 1 morePosthumous marriage in Germany
A legal rite that joined a living woman to a deceased soldier for state benefits.Vow · After the wedding
🇮🇹 ItalyConfarreatio
The ancient Roman patrician marriage rite marked by sharing a sacred emmer cake.Rite · The ceremony
🇮🇹 ItalyFede ring
A clasped-hands ring that symbolizes betrothal and faithfulness in marriage traditions.Adornment · Engagement and betrothal
🇩🇰 Copenhagen, Denmark and 1 moreSame-sex marriage in Denmarkægteskab mellem personer af samme køn
The legal recognition of same-sex unions in Denmark since 2012, following a pioneering partnership law from 1989.Modern · The ceremony
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 5 moreRing fingerdigitus annularis
The fourth digit of the hand where wedding and engagement rings are traditionally worn.Attire · The ceremony
🇩🇪 Germany and 5 moreMorganatic marriageEhe zur linken Hand
A union between people of unequal rank that bars the spouse and children from inheriting titles or throne rights.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇳🇱 Amsterdam, Netherlands and 5 moreSame-sex marriage
The legal union of two people of the same sex or gender, recognized in dozens of countries.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇷 Greece and 2 moreAdelphopoiesis
A historical Eastern Christian ceremony uniting two people of the same sex in a recognized spiritual bond.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇲🇪 Podgorica, MontenegroRecognition of same-sex unions in MontenegroŽivotno partnerstvo
Legal recognition for same-sex couples in Montenegro through life partnerships.Modern
🇬🇷 Athens, GreeceSame-sex marriage in GreeceΟμοφυλοφιλικός γάμος (Omofylofilikos gamos)
The legal recognition of marriage between two people of the same sex, effective since February 2024.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇸🇮 SloveniaSame-sex marriage in SloveniaZakonska zveza istospolnih partnerjev
The legal recognition of same-sex unions that evolved from limited partnerships to full marriage rights.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇩🇪 Germany and 3 moreHerem of Rabbeinu GershomḤerem de-Rabbeinu Gershom
Medieval ordinances that banned polygyny and forced divorce for Ashkenazi Jews.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇦🇩 AndorraSame-sex marriage in AndorraMatrimoni entre persones del mateix sexe
The legal recognition of same-sex unions in the Pyrenean principality since 2023.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇦🇹 Vienna, AustriaSame-sex marriage in Austria
Civil marriage and partnership ceremonies for same-sex couples in AustriaVow · The ceremony
🇮🇪 Dublin, IrelandSchulze Registers
The surviving records of secret marriages performed by a Lutheran minister in 19th century Dublin.Vow · The ceremony
🇲🇨 Monaco, MonacoRecognition of same-sex unions in Monacocontrat de vie commune; union civile
Legal frameworks for same-sex couples in Monaco, from cohabitation agreements to ongoing civil union debates.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇪🇸 SpainRoyal Pragmatic on MarriageReal Pragmática
A Spanish law requiring parental permission for marriage to enforce social class boundaries.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇪🇸 A Coruña, Spain and 2 moreFirst same-sex marriage in Spain
The 1901 union of two women in Galicia that preceded legal recognition by over a centuryModern · The ceremony
🇫🇷 France and 4 moreMore danicodansk skik
A Medieval Scandinavian marriage custom allowing polygyny and secular unions outside church control.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇧 United KingdomSame-sex marriage in Saint Helena, Ascension and Tristan da Cunha
The legal recognition of same-sex unions across the three island groups since 2017.Modern · The ceremony
🇩🇪 Germany and 2 moreGet of Cleves
A disputed 1766 Jewish divorce document that sparked international rabbinic debate over mental competence.Vow · After the wedding
🇱🇻 Riga, LatviaCivil partnership in Latviacivilā partnerība
The legal framework for same-sex couples in Latvia that grants most marital rights without adoption or inheritance.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇩🇪 GermanyBeilager
A public ceremony in German-speaking lands where witnesses observed the couple entering the marriage bed to finalize theRite · The ceremony
🇬🇧 London, United Kingdom and 1 moreCivil partnership in the United Kingdom
A legal union for same-sex and opposite-sex couples in the UK, offering rights equal to marriage.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇱🇮 Vaduz, LiechtensteinSame-sex marriage in Liechtenstein
The civil union that grants equal marital rights to all couples in the Alpine principality.Modern · The ceremony
Photo credits on this page
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
- Same-sex marriage in Spain: FELGTB Federación Estatal de Lesbianas, Gais, Trans y Bisexuales, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Same-sex marriage in Germany: This image is a work by Wikipedia and Wikimedia Commons user C.Suthorn, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Same-sex marriage in Greece: Mzimu, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Banns of marriage: After William Hemsley, CC0, source
- Recognition of same-sex unions in Italy: G.dallorto, Attribution, source
- Fleet marriage: Unknown author, Public domain, source
- Proxy marriage: Alejandro Cicarelli, Public domain, source
- First same-sex marriage in Spain: Jglamela, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- More danico: Edward Burne-Jones, Public domain, source
- Dower: Pvasiliadis, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Same-sex marriage in Iceland: Stanko Gruden/STA/Predsednik Republike Slovenije, CC0, source
- Ring finger: RAPMOODDE, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Same-sex marriage in Denmark: PavelStotsko, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Morganatic marriage: Sergei Lvovich Levitsky (1819 – 1898) and Rafail Sergeevich Levitsky (, Public domain, source
- Herem of Rabbeinu Gershom: Nixnubix, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Same-sex marriage: Stefano Bolognini, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Wedding ring: CLW at English Wikipedia, Public domain, source
- Marriage bond: Unknown author, Public domain, source
- Confarreatio: Agnete, CC BY 3.0, source
- Fede ring: Anonymous ( Europe ) Unknown author, Public domain, source