Vows, contracts and registration
The promise and the paperwork: the nikah contract, the ketubah, the register, the witnesses.
Vows, contracts and registration are the promise and the paperwork: what is said aloud, what is signed, who witnesses it and which authority records it. In some weddings the contract is the heart of the day, as with the nikah and the ketubah. In others the civil register is a separate visit with a separate dress.
The spoken promise
A Christian service uses set vows, such as the Book of Common Prayer's promise to have and to hold, though many couples now choose their own. A Hindu wedding has the saptapadi, in which each step is paired with a pledge about food, strength, prosperity, family, children and friendship. Sikh couples circle the Guru Granth Sahib four times during the lavan. A Quaker couple speaks directly to each other without a priest. Among Jews the groom says the formula under the canopy, and the bride accepts the ring.
The written contract
The ketubah, the nikah nama and the Zoroastrian marriage certificate are agreements with real terms: the ketubah sets out the husband's obligations to his wife, and the nikah contract records the mahr, the gift owed to the bride, along with any conditions she has added. Many Muslim women now use the contract to write in rights about work, residence and divorce. In Christian and civil weddings the register is signed by the couple and two witnesses, and the registrar then files it with the state.
Law and the faith side by side
In England and Wales a religious ceremony must usually be registered, and many mosque and temple weddings have historically lacked legal recognition, which leaves some women without protection. Countries such as Germany and France require a civil wedding first, with any religious service after. Others, such as Israel and Lebanon, have no civil marriage at home, so couples fly to Cyprus. Reform of these rules is a live issue in many places.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Background on Vows, contracts and registration (kind of custom). Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
🇮🇷 Iran and 1 moreNikahnikāḥ (Arabic: نِكَاح)
The Islamic marriage contract that establishes a binding union between two people.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇨🇾 Cyprus and 2 moreMarriage in Cyprus
A destination for civil and religious weddings that allows interfaith couples to marry outside their home laws.Vow · The ceremony
🇮🇱 IsraelErusinאירוסין
The first stage of a Jewish marriage that consecrates the bride to the groom.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Jerusalem, Israel and 2 moreJewish prenuptial agreement
A contract signed before the wedding to ensure a Jewish divorce can happen if one spouse refuses.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Tel Aviv, IsraelSame-sex marriage in Israel
Legal recognition for same-sex couples through foreign or online marriages due to the absence of civil marriage in IsraeModern · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Israel and 2 moreKetubahכְּתוּבָּה
The Jewish marriage contract that outlines the groom's financial and personal obligations to the bride.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇷 Iran and 1 moreNikah mut'ahنكاح المتعة
A fixed-term Shia marriage contract with an agreed length and an agreed mahrVow
🇮🇱 Israel and 1 moreYibbumייבום
A Jewish rite where a brother marries his childless deceased brother's widow to continue the family line.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Jerusalem, Israel and 5 moreInterfaith marriage in Judaismשִׁדּוּג חַלּוּץ (Shidug Chalutz) / אינטרפייט מריאז' (Interafeyt Mariyaz')
The union of a Jew and a non-Jew, viewed as void by traditional law but increasingly common in modern communities.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Jerusalem, Israel and 4 moreAgunahעֲגוּנָה (Agunah)
A Jewish woman trapped in a marriage because her husband has not granted a religious divorce document known as a get.Vow · After the wedding
🇮🇱 Israel and 5 moreLevirate marriage
A custom where a man marries his deceased brother's widow to protect her and keep the family line intact.Betrothal · After the wedding
🇮🇶 Iraq and 1 moreInterdenominational marriage
A wedding between two people of different denominations within the same religion.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇨🇾 Nicosia, CyprusRecognition of same-sex unions in Cyprusπολιτική συμβίωση (Greek), sivil birliktelik (Turkish)
The legal framework for registered partnerships and the ongoing debate over marriage equality in Cyprus.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 IsraelIsha katlanitאישה קטלנית
A Jewish legal concept regarding a widow who has lost two husbands and the risks associated with her remarrying.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 IsraelGetגט
The Aramaic divorce document that frees a Jewish woman to remarryVow · After the wedding
🇮🇱 IsraelHalizahחליצה (ḥălīṣā)
The Jewish rite that frees a childless widow from the duty to marry her deceased husband's brother.Rite · After the wedding
🇸🇦 Saudi Arabia and 2 morePolygamy in Saudi Arabia
A legal marriage structure allowing a man to have up to four wives under Islamic law.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇷 Iran and 3 moreXwedodahxwidōdāh
A Zoroastrian rite of close-kin marriage rooted in ancient cosmology and royal tradition.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Tel Aviv, IsraelUnregistered cohabitation in Israel
Legal recognition for same-sex couples living together without a formal religious or civil wedding ceremony.Modern
🇮🇱 Israel and 1 moreLieberman clause
A ketubah provision for rabbinic arbitration to prevent a woman from being unable to remarry.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Israel and 2 moreHeter meah rabbanimהיתר מאה רבנים
A rare exemption allowing a man to remarry when his wife refuses a Jewish divorce.Vow · After the wedding
Photo credits on this page
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
- Same-sex marriage in Israel: דוד שי, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Ketubah: Unknown author, Public domain, source
- Xwedodah: Dageoa, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Interfaith marriage in Christianity: Andreas Praefcke, CC BY 3.0, source
- Nikah: عامر شاہین, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Yibbum: School of Rembrandt, Public domain, source
- Interfaith marriage in Judaism: Rembrandt, Public domain, source
- Get: Moshe Rynecki (1881-1943), Public domain, source
- Halizah: Daderot, CC0, source
- Erusin: LGJMS, CC BY-SA 4.0, source