Wedding traditions with wine and the shared cup
A cup of wine or a shared drink is a promise that two lives will be shared.
A cup of wine or a shared drink is a promise that two lives will be shared. It appears in the Jewish seven blessings, in Orthodox services, in Japanese weddings with sake, in Chinese customs with the wedding cup and in many African customs with palm wine.
The shared cup
In the Jewish wedding the couple drink from the same cup after the blessings. In Orthodox weddings the common cup is shared, sipped three times. In Japan the san-san-kudo has the couple drink sake from three cups. In China the couple link arms to drink from two cups tied with red thread, the jiaobei jiu. In Igbo weddings the bride finds her husband with a cup of palm wine and gives it to him to drink.
The toast
The toast to the couple is almost universal. Georgian weddings have the tamada, Irish weddings have a speech, and in Poland guests shout gorzko, bitter, until the couple kiss to sweeten it. Many weddings avoid alcohol, and non-alcoholic cups hold the same meaning.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Background on Wine and the shared cup (symbol). Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
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A large-scale marriage rededication or new union ceremony that engrafts couples into a sinless lineage.Rite · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 IsraelErusinאירוסין
The first stage of a Jewish marriage that consecrates the bride to the groom.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 India and 2 moreHindu weddingvivaha (विवाह)
The traditional marriage ceremony for Hindus, centered on sacred fire and seven vows.Rite · Engagement and betrothal
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🇰🇪 KenyaKoito
A Kalenjin dowry negotiation ritual that marks the formal agreement between families.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇨🇳 China and 3 moreMarriage coin charm夫妇和合花钱 (fū fù hé hé huā qián)
Numismatic amulets from East Asia that carry wedding blessings and fertility symbols.Adornment · Engagement and betrothal
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The public ritual of placing the newlyweds in their marital bed to witness and seal the marriage.Rite · The ceremony
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The crowning ritual in Eastern Christian weddings that marks the couple as king and queen.Rite · The ceremony
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A Polish annual gathering for couples who chose alcohol-free wedding receptions.Feast custom · The ceremony
🇳🇴 NorwayEsbat
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The astrological matching and barley beer offering that binds a Sherpa couple.Betrothal · Finding a match
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🇬🇷 Crete, GreeceSoustaΣούστα
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🇮🇱 IsraelSeudat mitzvahסעודת מצוה
The obligatory festive meals in Judaism that mark religious milestones and sacred days.Feast custom · The ceremony
Photo credits on this page
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
- Bedding ceremony: Isaac Cruikshank, Public domain, source
- Seudat mitzvah: Unknown author, Public domain, source
- Sherpa marriage: Dirk Pons, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Bachelor party: Derek Springer, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Courtship in the Philippines: Markytour777, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Sousta: psyberartist, CC BY 2.0, source
- Erusin: LGJMS, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Marriage coin charm: Scott Semans, CC BY 3.0, source
- Blessing ceremony of the Unification Church: Unknown author, Public domain, source
- Mystery of Crowning: Shakko, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Hindu wedding: Dinesh Cyanam, CC BY-SA 2.0, source