Wedding traditions with wine and the shared cup
A cup of wine or a shared drink is a promise that two lives will be shared.
A cup of wine or a shared drink is a promise that two lives will be shared. It appears in the Jewish seven blessings, in Orthodox services, in Japanese weddings with sake, in Chinese customs with the wedding cup and in many African customs with palm wine.
The shared cup
In the Jewish wedding the couple drink from the same cup after the blessings. In Orthodox weddings the common cup is shared, sipped three times. In Japan the san-san-kudo has the couple drink sake from three cups. In China the couple link arms to drink from two cups tied with red thread, the jiaobei jiu. In Igbo weddings the bride finds her husband with a cup of palm wine and gives it to him to drink.
The toast
The toast to the couple is almost universal. Georgian weddings have the tamada, Irish weddings have a speech, and in Poland guests shout gorzko, bitter, until the couple kiss to sweeten it. Many weddings avoid alcohol, and non-alcoholic cups hold the same meaning.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Background on Wine and the shared cup (symbol). Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
🇬🇧 United KingdomQuaichcuach
A shallow two-handled cup used in Scottish weddings to share a drink and symbolise union.Feast custom · The ceremony
🇮🇱 Jerusalem, Israel and 3 moreJewish wedding
The ceremony and laws that bind a couple in Jewish marriage, from the canopy to the glass.Rite · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 IsraelErusinאירוסין
The first stage of a Jewish marriage that consecrates the bride to the groom.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇦🇿 AzerbaijanAzerbaijani wedding traditionsAzərbaycanın toy adətləri
The multi-step family rituals of Azerbaijani weddings, from matchmaking to the henna night.Rite · Finding a match
🇲🇽 Oaxaca, MexicoOaxacan wedding
A multi-day Catholic celebration in Oaxaca featuring mole, mezcal, and communal dancing.Feast custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇪🇬 Egypt and 5 moreArab weddingزفاف or فرح or عرس
A series of family-centered rites and processions that mark marriage across the Arab world.Rite · Finding a match
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 1 moreWedding breakfast
The post-ceremony feast served to the couple and their guests in British English usage.Feast custom · The ceremony
🇸🇿 EswatiniUmtsimbauntsimba
A multi-day Swazi wedding procession where the bride joins her husband's family through ritualised stages.Rite · Finding a match
🇮🇳 IndiaIndian wedding invitationsNimantraṇa patra (निमन्त्रण पत्र)
Decorated cards sent to announce a marriage and invite guests to the celebration.Betrothal · The weeks before
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 3 moreBedding ceremony
The public ritual of placing the newlyweds in their marital bed to witness and seal the marriage.Rite · The ceremony
🇮🇸 IcelandIcelandic weddings
A blend of church ceremony and multi-day feasting that marks the union of two people in Iceland.Feast custom · The ceremony
🇸🇾 Syria and 3 moreAssyrian wedding
Marriage ceremonies blending ancient Assyrian rites with modern cultural practices among the Assyrian people.Rite · Finding a match
🇳🇬 NigeriaIgbo traditional marriageIgba Nkwu
The multi-stage Igbo marriage process that formalizes a union through family negotiations and the wine-carrying ceremonyRite · Finding a match
🇷🇺 RussiaRussian wedding traditionsРусская свадьба
A multi-day celebration blending Orthodox crowning, ransom games, and lively toasting in Russia.Rite · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 IndiaMeitei weddingLuhongba (ꯂꯨꯍꯣꯡꯕ)
The traditional union of the Meitei people, marked by clan exogamy and specific courtship rituals.Rite · Finding a match
🇻🇳 VietnamTraditional Vietnamese weddingLễ cưới truyền thống Việt Nam
The multi-stage ceremony of betrothal, engagement and union that marks a marriage in Vietnam.Attire · Finding a match
🇰🇪 KenyaKoito
A Kalenjin dowry negotiation ritual that marks the formal agreement between families.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇦 Ukraine and 7 moreVechornytsiвечорниці
A Ukrainian courtship gathering where young people meet, dance and practice matchmaking rituals before the wedding seasoBetrothal · The weeks before
🇵🇭 Cebu, PhilippinesCourtship in the Philippines
A traditional Filipino courtship marked by serenade, service, and family involvement.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇳🇵 NepalSherpa marriage
The astrological matching and barley beer offering that binds a Sherpa couple.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇬🇷 Crete, GreeceSoustaΣούστα
A Greek courtship dance performed at weddings to display romance and agility.Performance · Procession and arrival
🇭🇺 Hungary and 2 moreEaster sprinkling in Hungaryhúsvéti locsolás
An Easter Monday custom where boys sprinkle water or perfume on girls and receive painted eggs in return.Betrothal · The weeks before
🇵🇱 Poland and 3 moreŚmigus-Dyngus
The Easter Monday water splashing and willow whipping tradition of Central EuropeRite · The weeks before
Photo credits on this page
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
- Jewish wedding: Jozef Israëls, Public domain, source
- Śmigus-Dyngus: Nationwide Specialty Co., Arlington, Texas -- In Buffalo, N.Y., Stanle, CC BY 3.0, source
- Indian wedding invitations: Onef9day, CC BY 3.0, source
- Quaich: Robin-wood, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Bedding ceremony: Isaac Cruikshank, Public domain, source
- Sherpa marriage: Dirk Pons, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Azerbaijani wedding traditions: Azim Azimzadeh, Public domain, source
- Oaxacan wedding: Adam Jones, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Arab wedding: 13th century artist, Public domain, source
- Wedding breakfast: Arpingstone, Public domain, source
- Courtship in the Philippines: Markytour777, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Sousta: psyberartist, CC BY 2.0, source
- Easter sprinkling in Hungary: Matyófolk, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Assyrian wedding: Yucalyptus, CC0, source
- Igbo traditional marriage: Olugold, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Russian wedding traditions: GeorgeLouis, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Erusin: LGJMS, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Vechornytsi: Гейслер, Кристиан Готфрид Генрих, Public domain, source
- Meitei wedding: Dabu Leichombam, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Traditional Vietnamese wedding: Gabrielle M. Vassal, Public domain, source
- Umtsimba: Cat7624, CC0, source