Wedding traditions with wine and the shared cup

A cup of wine or a shared drink is a promise that two lives will be shared.

A cup of wine or a shared drink is a promise that two lives will be shared. It appears in the Jewish seven blessings, in Orthodox services, in Japanese weddings with sake, in Chinese customs with the wedding cup and in many African customs with palm wine.

The shared cup

In the Jewish wedding the couple drink from the same cup after the blessings. In Orthodox weddings the common cup is shared, sipped three times. In Japan the san-san-kudo has the couple drink sake from three cups. In China the couple link arms to drink from two cups tied with red thread, the jiaobei jiu. In Igbo weddings the bride finds her husband with a cup of palm wine and gives it to him to drink.

The toast

The toast to the couple is almost universal. Georgian weddings have the tamada, Irish weddings have a speech, and in Poland guests shout gorzko, bitter, until the couple kiss to sweeten it. Many weddings avoid alcohol, and non-alcoholic cups hold the same meaning.

About this page

Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Background on Wine and the shared cup (symbol). Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.

🇵🇸 Ramallah, Palestine and 4 moreDabkeدبكة A Levantine line dance performed at weddings to celebrate union and community.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts

🇱🇦 Laos and 1 moreBaciບາສີ (Lao); บายศรี (Thai) The wrist-tying ceremony that calls the soul back to restore balance and good luck.Blessing · The ceremony

🇰🇷 South Korea and 5 moreBlessing ceremony of the Unification ChurchHoly Marriage Blessing Ceremony (축복결혼식) A large-scale marriage rededication or new union ceremony that engrafts couples into a sinless lineage.Rite · Engagement and betrothal

🇩🇰 Copenhagen, Denmark and 2 moreKransekakekransekage A towering almond ring cake central to Scandinavian wedding and holiday traditions.Feast custom · Reception, dance and gifts

🇬🇧 United KingdomQuaichcuach A shallow two-handled cup used in Scottish weddings to share a drink and symbolise union.Feast custom · The ceremony

🇷🇺 RussiaEastern Orthodox marriage The Byzantine Rite ceremony where a priest crowns the couple to seal their union in Christ.Rite · Engagement and betrothal

🇬🇪 Georgia and 1 moreTamadaთამადა The toastmaster who leads the Georgian supra and sets the rhythm of a wedding feast.Feast custom · The wedding feast 🇮🇱 IsraelSeudat nissuinSeudat nissuin (סעודת נישואין) The Jewish wedding meal blessed with wine and bread, followed by seven days of celebration.Feast custom · The ceremony

🇮🇱 Jerusalem, Israel and 3 moreJewish wedding The ceremony and laws that bind a couple in Jewish marriage, from the canopy to the glass.Rite · Engagement and betrothal

🇮🇱 IsraelErusinאירוסין The first stage of a Jewish marriage that consecrates the bride to the groom.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal

🇮🇳 India and 2 moreHindu weddingvivaha (विवाह) The traditional marriage ceremony for Hindus, centered on sacred fire and seven vows.Rite · Engagement and betrothal

🇩🇪 Germany and 5 morePolterabend The evening before the wedding when guests break porcelain to bring luck and test the couple's teamwork.Blessing · The eve

🇸🇿 EswatiniUmtsimbauntsimba A multi-day Swazi wedding procession where the bride joins her husband's family through ritualised stages.Rite · Finding a match

🇷🇺 RussiaRussian wedding traditionsРусская свадьба A multi-day celebration blending Orthodox crowning, ransom games, and lively toasting in Russia.Rite · Engagement and betrothal

🇧🇩 Bangladesh and 1 moreBengali Muslim weddingবাঙালি মুসলিম বিয়ে A multi-day Bengali Muslim marriage blending Islamic rites with local folk traditions.Rite · The weeks before 🇨🇳 ChinaJiaobeijiu交杯酒 The ancient Chinese rite of sharing wine from linked cups to seal a marriage.Rite · The ceremony

🇮🇳 IndiaIndian wedding invitationsNimantraṇa patra (निमन्त्रण पत्र) Decorated cards sent to announce a marriage and invite guests to the celebration.Betrothal · The weeks before

🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 3 moreBedding ceremony The public ritual of placing the newlyweds in their marital bed to witness and seal the marriage.Rite · The ceremony

🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 1 moreWedding breakfast The post-ceremony feast served to the couple and their guests in British English usage.Feast custom · The ceremony

🇻🇳 VietnamTraditional Vietnamese weddingLễ cưới truyền thống Việt Nam The multi-stage ceremony of betrothal, engagement and union that marks a marriage in Vietnam.Attire · Finding a match

🇰🇷 South Korea and 1 morePyebaek폐백 A Korean post-ceremony ritual where the couple bows to the groom's parents and shares symbolic foods.Blessing · After the wedding

🇺🇸 Las Vegas, United States and 5 moreBachelor party A final celebration for the groom before his wedding, with names and customs varying by region.Feast custom · The weeks before

🇮🇱 Israel and 3 moreChuppahחֻפָּה (ḥuppā) The four-poster canopy that marks the Jewish wedding ceremony and symbolizes the couple's new home.Setting · The ceremony

🇸🇾 Syria and 3 moreAssyrian wedding Marriage ceremonies blending ancient Assyrian rites with modern cultural practices among the Assyrian people.Rite · Finding a match 🇰🇪 KenyaKoito A Kalenjin dowry negotiation ritual that marks the formal agreement between families.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal

🇪🇬 Egypt and 5 moreArab weddingزفاف or فرح or عرس A series of family-centered rites and processions that mark marriage across the Arab world.Rite · Finding a match

🇲🇽 Oaxaca, MexicoOaxacan wedding A multi-day Catholic celebration in Oaxaca featuring mole, mezcal, and communal dancing.Feast custom · Engagement and betrothal

🇷🇺 RussiaLoving cup A large shared drinking vessel with two handles used in Christian rites and weddingsFeast custom · The wedding feast 🇨🇦 CanadaStag and doe A Canadian fundraiser where guests pay to help the couple cover wedding costs.Feast custom · Engagement and betrothal 🇮🇸 IcelandIcelandic weddings A blend of church ceremony and multi-day feasting that marks the union of two people in Iceland.Feast custom · The ceremony

🇮🇳 IndiaMeitei weddingLuhongba (ꯂꯨꯍꯣꯡꯕ) The traditional union of the Meitei people, marked by clan exogamy and specific courtship rituals.Rite · Finding a match

🇮🇱 Israel and 2 moreSheva Brachotשבע ברכות The seven blessings recited during Jewish weddings and the subsequent festive week.Blessing · The ceremony

🇳🇬 NigeriaIgbo traditional marriageIgba Nkwu The multi-stage Igbo marriage process that formalizes a union through family negotiations and the wine-carrying ceremonyRite · Finding a match

🇦🇿 AzerbaijanAzerbaijani wedding traditionsAzərbaycanın toy adətləri The multi-step family rituals of Azerbaijani weddings, from matchmaking to the henna night.Rite · Finding a match

🇨🇳 China and 3 moreMarriage coin charm夫妇和合花钱 (fū fù hé hé huā qián) Numismatic amulets from East Asia that carry wedding blessings and fertility symbols.Adornment · Engagement and betrothal

🇸🇾 Syria and 3 moreMystery of Crowning The crowning ritual in Eastern Christian weddings that marks the couple as king and queen.Rite · The ceremony 🇵🇱 Kraków, PolandWedding of the Weddings A Polish annual gathering for couples who chose alcohol-free wedding receptions.Feast custom · The ceremony

🇬🇷 Greece and 1 moreAnastenariaΑναστενάρια (Greek), Нестинарство (Bulgarian) A barefoot firewalking ritual performed by Orthodox Christian communities in Greece and Bulgaria.Rite · The weeks before

🇺🇦 Ukraine and 7 moreVechornytsiвечорниці A Ukrainian courtship gathering where young people meet, dance and practice matchmaking rituals before the wedding seasoBetrothal · The weeks before 🇳🇴 NorwayEsbat A monthly Wiccan gathering held around the moon phases for ritual and communityBlessing · The ceremony

🇵🇭 Cebu, PhilippinesCourtship in the Philippines A traditional Filipino courtship marked by serenade, service, and family involvement.Betrothal · Finding a match

🇳🇵 NepalSherpa marriage The astrological matching and barley beer offering that binds a Sherpa couple.Betrothal · Finding a match

🇩🇪 GermanyLandshut WeddingLandshuter Hochzeit A four-year historical pageant in Bavaria re-enacting the 1475 royal marriage of George and Hedwig.Setting · Engagement and betrothal

Photo credits on this page

The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.

Polterabend: 4028mdk09, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
Courtship in the Philippines: Markytour777, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
Dabke: Sarah Canbel, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
Umtsimba: Cat7624, CC0, source
Russian wedding traditions: GeorgeLouis, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
Bengali Muslim wedding: NahidSultan, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
Indian wedding invitations: Onef9day, CC BY 3.0, source
Quaich: Robin-wood, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
Bedding ceremony: Isaac Cruikshank, Public domain, source
Baci: Dalbera, CC BY 2.0, source
Blessing ceremony of the Unification Church: Unknown author, Public domain, source
Sherpa marriage: Dirk Pons, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
Eastern Orthodox marriage: VitVit, CC BY 3.0, source
Wedding breakfast: Arpingstone, Public domain, source
Tamada: Niko Pirosmani, Public domain, source
Landshut Wedding: Oktobersonne, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
Kransekake: Kjetil Ree, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
Loving cup: Rhodian at English Wikipedia, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
Jewish wedding: Jozef Israëls, Public domain, source
Erusin: LGJMS, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
Meitei wedding: Dabu Leichombam, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
Sheva Brachot: מנחם יוסיפון, CC0, source
Igbo traditional marriage: Olugold, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
Azerbaijani wedding traditions: Azim Azimzadeh, Public domain, source
Marriage coin charm: Scott Semans, CC BY 3.0, source
Traditional Vietnamese wedding: Gabrielle M. Vassal, Public domain, source
Pyebaek: halfGoku, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
Hindu wedding: Dinesh Cyanam, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
Bachelor party: Derek Springer, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
Anastenaria: Artkostov, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
Chuppah: me, Public domain, source
Assyrian wedding: Yucalyptus, CC0, source
Arab wedding: 13th century artist, Public domain, source
Oaxacan wedding: Adam Jones, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
Mystery of Crowning: Shakko, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
Vechornytsi: Гейслер, Кристиан Готфрид Генрих, Public domain, source