Finding a match
Matchmakers, horoscopes, family introductions, courtship festivals and the first meeting.
Every wedding begins with two people finding each other, and the world has many ways to do it. A matchmaker, a horoscope, a festival, a school, an app or a family introduction can each be the first step. This stage covers what happens from the first thought of marriage to the first serious meeting.
Matchmakers and families
The Jewish shadchan, the Japanese nakodo, the Chinese matchmaker or meipo, the Indian family elder and the Korean middleman all work on the same idea: a trusted person who knows both sides suggests a match. In India families trade biodata and compare horoscopes, and in Japan the omiai was a formal first meeting, usually in a hotel tea room. In Iran the khastegari follows once the families agree.
Festivals and open courtship
Some places have a day or a gathering where young people meet. The Gerewol of the Wodaabe in Niger, the Imilchil Moussem in Morocco, the Lisdoonvarna Matchmaking Festival in Ireland, the Sapa love market in Vietnam, and Tu B'Av in Jewish tradition all bring unmarried people together in a public, festive setting. In China, parents gather in parks such as Shanghai's People's Park with notes about their children.
Choice and consent
Arranged does not mean forced. Many arranged marriages involve both partners' agreement, and many couples who meet on their own still seek parental blessing. Forced marriage is a violation of rights and illegal in most countries. Dating apps built for specific communities, from Muzz to Shaadi, show how technology is folding into older customs.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Background on Finding a match (stage of the wedding). Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreMaithil Vivahमैथिल विवाह
The arranged Hindu marriage of Maithils in the Mithila region, guided by Vedic texts and local customs.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇪🇹 Addis Ababa, EthiopiaWedding customs in Ethiopia
A collection of diverse marriage rites across Ethiopian tribes and the Orthodox Christian community.Rite · Finding a match
🇰🇷 Seoul, South Korea and 1 moreMarriage in KoreaKorean marriage (결혼)
A look at how Korean weddings blend ancient Confucian rites with modern legal practices.Rite · Finding a match
🇲🇲 MyanmarMarriage in Myanmar
A blend of Buddhist rites, astrological timing, and family negotiations that defines union across Myanmar's diverse ethnRite · Finding a match
🇮🇳 IndiaSvayamvaraस्वयंवर
The ancient Hindu ceremony where a princess picks her husband from assembled suitorsBetrothal · Finding a match
🇮🇳 IndiaChaklong wedding
The traditional Ahom marriage system involving rice powder mandalas and ancestral rituals.Rite · Finding a match
🇳🇬 Nigeria and 1 moreHausa traditional marriage
The Islamic marriage rites of the Hausa people in Northern Nigeria and Niger.Rite · Finding a match
🇮🇳 IndiaMeitei weddingLuhongba (ꯂꯨꯍꯣꯡꯕ)
The traditional union of the Meitei people, marked by clan exogamy and specific courtship rituals.Rite · Finding a match
🇳🇬 NigeriaIgbo traditional marriageIgba Nkwu
The multi-stage Igbo marriage process that formalizes a union through family negotiations and the wine-carrying ceremonyRite · Finding a match
🇦🇿 AzerbaijanAzerbaijani wedding traditionsAzərbaycanın toy adətləri
The multi-step family rituals of Azerbaijani weddings, from matchmaking to the henna night.Rite · Finding a match
🇺🇦 UkraineTraditional Ukrainian weddingТрадиційне українське весілля
A multi-day sequence of folk rites, bread baking and church vows that marks the transition from maidenhood to married liRite · Finding a match
🇧🇳 BruneiBrunei Malay wedding
The sequence of ceremonies that mark the engagement and marriage of Brunei Malays.Rite · Finding a match
🇸🇾 Syria and 3 moreAssyrian wedding
Marriage ceremonies blending ancient Assyrian rites with modern cultural practices among the Assyrian people.Rite · Finding a match
🇪🇬 Egypt and 5 moreArab weddingزفاف or فرح or عرس
A series of family-centered rites and processions that mark marriage across the Arab world.Rite · Finding a match
🇮🇱 Israel and 1 moreBaháʼí marriage
A spiritual union requiring parental consent and a specific vow to establish harmony between partners.Rite · Finding a match
🇨🇳 ChinaTraditional Chinese marriage婚姻 (hūnyīn)
A union between two families governed by Confucian rites and the exchange of gifts.Rite · Finding a match
🇨🇳 China and 1 moreGhost marriage冥婚 (mínghūn)
A union arranged for deceased individuals to ensure harmony in the afterlife and care in this one.Rite · Finding a match
🇮🇳 IndiaTelugu Hindu weddingతెలుగు వివాహ వేడుక
A multi-day Telugu Hindu marriage marked by seven vows around fire and family rituals.Rite · Finding a match
🇮🇶 Mosul, IraqWedding traditions in Iraq
The arranged courtship, religious rites and multi-day celebrations that mark marriage in Iraqi society.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇮🇷 Tehran, Iran and 1 moreIranian weddingمراسم عروسی در ایران
A multi-stage ceremony rooted in Zoroastrianism and Islam that binds families through courtship, feasts, and sacred vowsRite · Finding a match
🇸🇿 EswatiniUmtsimbauntsimba
A multi-day Swazi wedding procession where the bride joins her husband's family through ritualised stages.Rite · Finding a match
Photo credits on this page
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
- Svayamvara: Nandalal Bose, Public domain, source
- Iranian wedding: Flickr.com user "avlxyz", CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Umtsimba: Cat7624, CC0, source
- Marriage in Korea: Jérôme Banal ( Eden2004 ), CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Marriage in Myanmar: Thant Zin Myint, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Maithil Vivah: Sntshkumar750, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Chaklong wedding: Chiring chandan, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Hausa traditional marriage: Bembety, CC0, source
- Meitei wedding: Dabu Leichombam, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Igbo traditional marriage: Olugold, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Azerbaijani wedding traditions: Azim Azimzadeh, Public domain, source
- Traditional Ukrainian wedding: Пимоненко, Николай Корнильевич, Public domain, source
- Assyrian wedding: Yucalyptus, CC0, source
- Arab wedding: 13th century artist, Public domain, source
- Traditional Chinese marriage: Unknown author, Public domain, source