Finding a match
Matchmakers, horoscopes, family introductions, courtship festivals and the first meeting.
Every wedding begins with two people finding each other, and the world has many ways to do it. A matchmaker, a horoscope, a festival, a school, an app or a family introduction can each be the first step. This stage covers what happens from the first thought of marriage to the first serious meeting.
Matchmakers and families
The Jewish shadchan, the Japanese nakodo, the Chinese matchmaker or meipo, the Indian family elder and the Korean middleman all work on the same idea: a trusted person who knows both sides suggests a match. In India families trade biodata and compare horoscopes, and in Japan the omiai was a formal first meeting, usually in a hotel tea room. In Iran the khastegari follows once the families agree.
Festivals and open courtship
Some places have a day or a gathering where young people meet. The Gerewol of the Wodaabe in Niger, the Imilchil Moussem in Morocco, the Lisdoonvarna Matchmaking Festival in Ireland, the Sapa love market in Vietnam, and Tu B'Av in Jewish tradition all bring unmarried people together in a public, festive setting. In China, parents gather in parks such as Shanghai's People's Park with notes about their children.
Choice and consent
Arranged does not mean forced. Many arranged marriages involve both partners' agreement, and many couples who meet on their own still seek parental blessing. Forced marriage is a violation of rights and illegal in most countries. Dating apps built for specific communities, from Muzz to Shaadi, show how technology is folding into older customs.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Background on Finding a match (stage of the wedding). Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
🇰🇷 Seoul, South Korea and 1 moreMarriage in KoreaKorean marriage (결혼)
A look at how Korean weddings blend ancient Confucian rites with modern legal practices.Rite · Finding a match
🇪🇹 Addis Ababa, EthiopiaWedding customs in Ethiopia
A collection of diverse marriage rites across Ethiopian tribes and the Orthodox Christian community.Rite · Finding a match
🇲🇦 Imilchil, MoroccoImilchil Marriage FestivalAgdoud N'Oulmghenni
A Berber marriage festival in Morocco where tribes gather to arrange unions and celebrate with music and dance.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇾🇪 Yemen and 4 moreKafa'ahالكفاءة (al-kafā'ah)
The Islamic legal principle of social and religious equivalence between spouses in marriage.Vow · Finding a match
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreMaithil Vivahमैथिल विवाह
The arranged Hindu marriage of Maithils in the Mithila region, guided by Vedic texts and local customs.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇲🇲 MyanmarMarriage in Myanmar
A blend of Buddhist rites, astrological timing, and family negotiations that defines union across Myanmar's diverse ethnRite · Finding a match
🇸🇬 Singapore and 3 moreMatchmaking
The practice of pairing two people for marriage through an intermediary or system.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇮🇳 IndiaSvayamvaraस्वयंवर
The ancient Hindu ceremony where a princess picks her husband from assembled suitorsBetrothal · Finding a match
🇮🇳 IndiaChaklong wedding
The traditional Ahom marriage system involving rice powder mandalas and ancestral rituals.Rite · Finding a match
🇮🇳 IndiaGandharva marriageगान्धर्व विवाह (gāndharva vivāha)
A consensual union between a man and a woman without rituals or family involvement.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇯🇵 JapanMiai見合い (Miai)
A traditional Japanese matchmaking meeting where a man and woman consider marriage with the help of a go-between.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇮🇳 India and 2 moreArranged marriage in the Indian subcontinent
The family-led matchmaking process that shapes most marriages across South Asia.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇵🇰 Pakistan and 4 moreWatta sattaوٹّا سٹّا / شغار
A reciprocal marriage arrangement where two families swap brides to bind households and manage domestic tensions.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇸🇿 EswatiniUmtsimbauntsimba
A multi-day Swazi wedding procession where the bride joins her husband's family through ritualised stages.Rite · Finding a match
🇮🇷 Tehran, Iran and 1 moreIranian weddingمراسم عروسی در ایران
A multi-stage ceremony rooted in Zoroastrianism and Islam that binds families through courtship, feasts, and sacred vowsRite · Finding a match
🇮🇶 Mosul, IraqWedding traditions in Iraq
The arranged courtship, religious rites and multi-day celebrations that mark marriage in Iraqi society.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇲🇷 Mauritania and 5 moreLeblouhالبلوح
The forced fattening of girls to improve their marriage prospects, a harmful practiceBetrothal · Finding a match
🇮🇳 IndiaTelugu Hindu weddingతెలుగు వివాహ వేడుక
A multi-day Telugu Hindu marriage marked by seven vows around fire and family rituals.Rite · Finding a match
🇳🇬 Nigeria and 1 moreHausa traditional marriage
The Islamic marriage rites of the Hausa people in Northern Nigeria and Niger.Rite · Finding a match
🇨🇳 Beijing, China and 1 moreMarriage market
Public spaces where families gather to find spouses for their children through listings and brokers.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇮🇳 IndiaMeitei weddingLuhongba (ꯂꯨꯍꯣꯡꯕ)
The traditional union of the Meitei people, marked by clan exogamy and specific courtship rituals.Rite · Finding a match
Photo credits on this page
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
- Svayamvara: Nandalal Bose, Public domain, source
- Iranian wedding: Flickr.com user "avlxyz", CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Umtsimba: Cat7624, CC0, source
- Arranged marriage in the Indian subcontinent: Hindustanilanguage, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Miai: Unknown author, Public domain, source
- Marriage market: Tim Sheerman-Chase, CC BY 2.0, source
- Gandharva marriage: Amitdighe, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Marriage in Korea: Jérôme Banal ( Eden2004 ), CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Marriage in Myanmar: Thant Zin Myint, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Maithil Vivah: Sntshkumar750, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Imilchil Marriage Festival: Zakaria ElQotbi, CC BY 2.0, source
- Matchmaking: Pavel Fedotov, Public domain, source
- Chaklong wedding: Chiring chandan, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Hausa traditional marriage: Bembety, CC0, source
- Meitei wedding: Dabu Leichombam, CC BY-SA 4.0, source