Family roles and who does what
Who gives the bride away, who walks, who stands witness, who pays and who sits where.
A wedding is a family event first. Who walks the bride, who stands as witness, who pays, who sits at the head table and who is the best man are all roles with their own names and history. They show how a community thinks about family, and they change as families change.
Giving and receiving
Western weddings often have the father walk the bride down the aisle, a custom with roots in the transfer of authority. Hindu kanyadaan, the gift of the daughter, is performed by the bride's parents, though some now reinterpret or skip it. In Jewish weddings both sets of parents may walk the groom and the bride to the chuppah. In Muslim weddings a wali, often the father, acts for the bride, and in the Hanafi school a woman may also contract her own marriage.
Witnesses and supporters
Greek and Orthodox weddings have a koumbaros or koumbara who crowns the couple and becomes a lifelong family friend. Spanish and Latin American weddings have padrinos and madrinas who sponsor parts of the day. English weddings have the best man and the maid of honour, and Hindu weddings the bride's brother, who pours rice into her hands in the laja homa. Jewish and Muslim weddings need two witnesses.
What is changing
Mothers now often walk their daughters, couples enter together, and step-parents and same-sex parents have a clear place. Many couples pay for their own weddings. The role of in-laws is still strong in places where couples live with the husband's family, and brides are pressing for fair treatment of their own parents too.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Background on Family roles and who does what (kind of custom). Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
🇮🇷 Iran and 1 moreNikahnikāḥ (Arabic: نِكَاح)
The Islamic marriage contract that establishes a binding union between two people.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇹🇷 Kayseri, Turkey and 4 moreHalay
A traditional line and circle dance performed across Turkey and surrounding regions at weddings.Performance · The ceremony
🇮🇱 IsraelErusinאירוסין
The first stage of a Jewish marriage that consecrates the bride to the groom.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Jerusalem, Israel and 4 moreAgunahעֲגוּנָה (Agunah)
A Jewish woman trapped in a marriage because her husband has not granted a religious divorce document known as a get.Vow · After the wedding
🇮🇱 Israel and 1 moreYibbumייבום
A Jewish rite where a brother marries his childless deceased brother's widow to continue the family line.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Jerusalem, Israel and 5 moreInterfaith marriage in Judaismשִׁדּוּג חַלּוּץ (Shidug Chalutz) / אינטרפייט מריאז' (Interafeyt Mariyaz')
The union of a Jew and a non-Jew, viewed as void by traditional law but increasingly common in modern communities.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇷 Iran and 5 moreCollective wedding
A single ceremony where many couples exchange vows and become married at once.Modern · The ceremony
🇮🇱 Jerusalem, Israel and 2 moreJewish prenuptial agreement
A contract signed before the wedding to ensure a Jewish divorce can happen if one spouse refuses.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Israel and 2 moreKetubahכְּתוּבָּה
The Jewish marriage contract that outlines the groom's financial and personal obligations to the bride.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Israel and 5 moreLevirate marriage
A custom where a man marries his deceased brother's widow to protect her and keep the family line intact.Betrothal · After the wedding
🇸🇾 Syria and 3 moreMystery of Crowning
The crowning ritual in Eastern Christian weddings that marks the couple as king and queen.Rite · The ceremony
🇮🇶 Iraq and 1 moreInterdenominational marriage
A wedding between two people of different denominations within the same religion.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇸🇦 Saudi Arabia and 5 moreCousin marriage in the Middle East
A traditional practice of marrying close relatives, especially paternal cousins, across Middle Eastern communities.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇮🇱 IsraelGetגט
The Aramaic divorce document that frees a Jewish woman to remarryVow · After the wedding
🇮🇱 Israel and 1 moreLieberman clause
A ketubah provision for rabbinic arbitration to prevent a woman from being unable to remarry.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇾🇪 YemenPolygamy in Yemen
A legal practice allowing Muslim men to marry up to four wives under specific conditions.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇧🇭 BahrainPolygamy in Bahrain
A legal marital arrangement where a man may have multiple wives, practiced by a minority of citizens.Modern
🇸🇦 Saudi Arabia and 2 morePolygamy in Saudi Arabia
A legal marriage structure allowing a man to have up to four wives under Islamic law.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Israel and 2 moreHeter meah rabbanimהיתר מאה רבנים
A rare exemption allowing a man to remarry when his wife refuses a Jewish divorce.Vow · After the wedding
🇮🇷 Isfahan, IranDebit trousersShalvār Debit (شلوار دبیت)
The wide black cotton trousers worn by Bakhtiari men as a badge of tribal identity.Attire · The ceremony
🇮🇱 IsraelSeudat mitzvahסעודת מצוה
The obligatory festive meals in Judaism that mark religious milestones and sacred days.Feast custom · The ceremony
🇾🇪 Yemen and 1 moreUrfi marriageزواج عرفي
A customary union upheld by community tradition instead of state registration.Modern · The ceremony
Photo credits on this page
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
- Interfaith marriage in Christianity: Andreas Praefcke, CC BY 3.0, source
- Debit trousers: Niloofar Rakhshan, CC BY 4.0, source
- Ketubah: Unknown author, Public domain, source
- Get: Moshe Rynecki (1881-1943), Public domain, source
- Yibbum: School of Rembrandt, Public domain, source
- Interfaith marriage in Judaism: Rembrandt, Public domain, source
- Seudat mitzvah: Unknown author, Public domain, source
- Halay: Post of Moldova, Public domain, source
- Collective wedding: Tribunal de Justiça do Estado do Pará, Public domain, source
- Erusin: LGJMS, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Nikah: عامر شاہین, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Mystery of Crowning: Shakko, CC BY-SA 3.0, source