Family roles and who does what: wedding traditions from every country

A wedding is a family event first. Who walks the bride, who stands as witness, who pays, who sits at the head table and who is the best man are all roles with their own names and history. They show how a community thinks about family, and they change as families change.

Giving and receiving

Western weddings often have the father walk the bride down the aisle, a custom with roots in the transfer of authority. Hindu kanyadaan, the gift of the daughter, is performed by the bride's parents, though some now reinterpret or skip it. In Jewish weddings both sets of parents may walk the groom and the bride to the chuppah. In Muslim weddings a wali, often the father, acts for the bride, and in the Hanafi school a woman may also contract her own marriage.

Witnesses and supporters

Greek and Orthodox weddings have a koumbaros or koumbara who crowns the couple and becomes a lifelong family friend. Spanish and Latin American weddings have padrinos and madrinas who sponsor parts of the day. English weddings have the best man and the maid of honour, and Hindu weddings the bride's brother, who pours rice into her hands in the laja homa. Jewish and Muslim weddings need two witnesses.

What is changing

Mothers now often walk their daughters, couples enter together, and step-parents and same-sex parents have a clear place. Many couples pay for their own weddings. The role of in-laws is still strong in places where couples live with the husband's family, and brides are pressing for fair treatment of their own parents too.

About this page

Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Background on Family roles and who does what (kind of custom). Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.

Photo credits on this page

The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.

Slave marriages in the United States: An 1899 illustration of a broomstick wedding. Schomburg Center for Res, Public domain, source

Sealing (Mormonism): NewNameNoah, CC BY 4.0, source

Huipil: Gift in memory of Elizabeth Ege Freudenheim, No restrictions, source

Interfaith marriage in Christianity: Andreas Praefcke, CC BY 3.0, source

Cookie table: Chris Winters, CC BY-SA 2.0, source

Lavender marriage: Katharine Cornell and the Playwrights' Company; Vandamm Studio, photog, Public domain, source

Bachelor party: Derek Springer, CC BY-SA 2.0, source

Interracial marriage: Xavier Lejeune, CC BY 4.0, source

Jumping the broom: credited only as "Hipstamatic shots, CC BY-SA 2.0, source

Bridal shower: The McClouds, CC BY-SA 2.0, source

Bridesmaid: Photographer not credited; relative or work for hire of relative., CC BY-SA 4.0, source

Hope chest: Poul Friis Nybo, Public domain, source