A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house.
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A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house. This page looks at the roles of parents, witnesses, best men and bridesmaids, godparents and in-laws across the world, and at how they are changing.
In the Western church wedding, the father walks the bride down the aisle and is asked who gives this woman, a relic of the time when a daughter passed from one man's authority to another. Many couples now walk together, or have both parents or a mother walk the bride. In Hindu weddings the kanyadaan, the gift of the daughter, is made by the bride's parents, and in Jewish weddings both parents walk each partner to the chuppah. In Muslim weddings the bride's guardian, the wali, is traditionally present at the nikah, and in China the parents are served tea by the couple as a sign of respect.
Every legal wedding needs witnesses, and many cultures give the role to a trusted friend or relative. The Western best man, with his groomsmen, descends from the friends who helped a groom in the days of capture, and the bridesmaids from the women who dressed in the same clothes as the bride to confuse evil spirits. The koumbaro in Greece, the padrinos in Spain and Latin America, and the kum in the Balkans act as sponsors who hold the crowns, rings or cords, and become lifelong godparents to the couple and their children.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa the bride moves to the groom's family home, so the mother-in-law and sisters-in-law are central, and rituals such as the welcome with a lamp or a bowl of rice mark the arrival. Where the groom's side pays, as in parts of Europe, or the bride's side pays, as in India, who pays can shape the relationship. Tensions over the guest list, the seating and the customs are common, and families often solve them with clear talk and compromise.
Couples increasingly plan, and pay for, their own weddings, and give parents and friends of any gender a role. Fathers and mothers walk together, the best man may be a woman, and bridesmaids may include men. Blended and single-parent families adapt the roles to fit, and same-sex couples have created new ways of dividing them. The old forms still matter to many families, and the best weddings often include a nod to them.
In a Hindu wedding the bride's parents perform kanyadaan, placing her hand in the groom's, and the groom's mother welcomes the couple at the door with a lamp and rice. The groom's brother and the bride's brother have small ritual duties, such as the bride's brother pouring puffed rice into her hands.
Read: KanyadanaAt the nikah the bride is asked for her consent through her wali and two witnesses. The rukhsati, her ceremonial departure from her parents' home, is an emotional moment with prayers, and the groom's family receives her.
Rukhsati, being writtenNinongs and ninangs, sponsors who are often wealthy or respected friends of the parents, act as witnesses and give the couple gifts. The principal sponsors sign the register and hold the veil and cord used in the ceremony.
Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines, being writtenThe couple serve tea to the parents and elders, who give red envelopes and jewellery in return. The ceremony shows respect for the family and the welcome of the bride into her husband's household.
Chinese tea ceremony, being writtenAt a Shinto wedding the go-betweens, the nakodo, once arranged and introduced the match, and the families toast each other with sake in the sansan-kudo. The family of each side sit facing each other at the ceremony.
Nakōdo, being writtenThe tamada, a toastmaster, runs the feast, and the groom's family brings a gift of wine to the bride's, with the best man, called the mkhlis, close to the groom. The wedding is held in a church with a godparent often serving as the sponsor.
Read: TamadaAlso part of it, and being written: Best man (The groom's chief supporter.), Koumbaros (The Greek sponsor and best man.), Padrino (The Hispanic wedding sponsor.), Giving away the bride (The father at the altar.), Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines (The Filipino sponsors.), Chinese tea ceremony (Serving tea to elders.).
In many Western weddings it is the father, but it can be both parents, a mother, a friend or nobody. The custom is optional, and civil celebrants are used to many arrangements.
He supports the groom, looks after the rings, organises the bachelor party and gives a speech. In some places the role is called the groomsman of honour or the koumbaro.
In Greece, Spain, Latin America and the Balkans, the couple choose sponsors, called koumbaros, padrinos or kum, who take a ceremonial part and a lifelong role as friends of the marriage.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa traditionally yes, though many couples now live on their own. In some societies, such as the Minangkabau of Indonesia, the groom joins the bride's family.
Most countries require at least one or two witnesses at a civil or religious wedding, with rules that vary. Check the registrar in your country.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
The traditions written up so far, best known first.
🇩🇪 GermanyLandshut WeddingLandshuter Hochzeit
A four-year historical pageant in Bavaria re-enacting the 1475 royal marriage of George and Hedwig.Setting · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇪 Galway, Ireland and 1 moreMarriage stone
A carved stone bearing the initials and date of a newly married couple, placed on a building to mark their union.Adornment · After the wedding
🇱🇮 Vaduz, LiechtensteinSame-sex marriage in Liechtenstein
The civil union that grants equal marital rights to all couples in the Alpine principality.Modern · The ceremony
🇩🇪 Germany and 3 moreHerem of Rabbeinu GershomḤerem de-Rabbeinu Gershom
Medieval ordinances that banned polygyny and forced divorce for Ashkenazi Jews.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇩🇪 GermanyBeilager
A public ceremony in German-speaking lands where witnesses observed the couple entering the marriage bed to finalize theRite · The ceremony
🇬🇷 Athens, GreeceSame-sex marriage in GreeceΟμοφυλοφιλικός γάμος (Omofylofilikos gamos)
The legal recognition of marriage between two people of the same sex, effective since February 2024.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇪 Dublin, IrelandSchulze Registers
The surviving records of secret marriages performed by a Lutheran minister in 19th century Dublin.Vow · The ceremony
🇲🇨 Monaco, MonacoRecognition of same-sex unions in Monacocontrat de vie commune; union civile
Legal frameworks for same-sex couples in Monaco, from cohabitation agreements to ongoing civil union debates.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇫🇷 France and 4 moreMore danicodansk skik
A Medieval Scandinavian marriage custom allowing polygyny and secular unions outside church control.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇷🇸 Serbia and 3 moreLazariceлазарице (Serbian), лазаруване (Bulgarian)
A South Slavic procession of young unmarried women who bless homes before Palm SundayBlessing · The weeks before
🇽🇰 Kosovo and 2 morePodruga
A second wife brought into the home to bear children when the first marriage is childless.Family role · Engagement and betrothal
🇧🇬 Bulgaria and 3 moreMartenitsaмартеница
White and red yarn charms worn in the Balkans to welcome spring and wish for good health.Adornment · The weeks before
🇷🇴 Ieud, RomaniaNunta mortului
A symbolic Romanian rite that dresses an unmarried dead person as a bride or groom to complete their life cycle.Rite · The weeks before
🇮🇹 Viterbo, ItalyMacchina di Santa Rosa
The annual procession in Viterbo where men carry a towering structure to honor their patron saint.Blessing · Procession and arrival
🇷🇴 Romania and 5 moreKlezmerקלעזמער
The instrumental dance music played by Ashkenazi Jewish musicians at weddings in Eastern Europe and beyondPerformance · Engagement and betrothal
🇵🇱 Poland and 3 moreEaster palmPolish: palma wielkanocna; Lithuanian: verba
A decorated willow or juniper bundle blessed on Palm Sunday to protect homes and crops.Blessing · The weeks before
🇬🇷 Crete, GreeceSoustaΣούστα
A Greek courtship dance performed at weddings to display romance and agility.Performance · Procession and arrival
🇭🇷 CroatiaZa križen
A night-long Maundy Thursday procession on Hvar island that honors the Weeping of the Lady.Blessing · The weeks before
🇭🇺 Hungary and 2 moreEaster sprinkling in Hungaryhúsvéti locsolás
An Easter Monday custom where boys sprinkle water or perfume on girls and receive painted eggs in return.Betrothal · The weeks before
🇵🇱 Poland and 5 moreDożynki
A Slavic harvest festival where farmers bring the last sheaf of grain to the village in a ceremonial wreath.Feast custom · After the wedding
🇷🇺 Russia and 5 moreRadonitsaРа́доница (Russian), Прóводи (Ukrainian), Ра́даўніца (Belarusian)
The Orthodox memorial day that lifts fasting restrictions and officially opens the wedding season.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇮🇹 Gubbio, Italy and 1 moreSaint Ubaldo DayFesta dei Ceri
A procession where runners carry massive wooden pedestals with saint statues through the streets of Gubbio and Jessup.Blessing · Procession and arrival
🇳🇱 NetherlandsPoffer
The elaborate white headdress worn by married women in the Netherlands to mark their status.Attire · Engagement and betrothal
🇩🇰 Denmark and 5 moreWidow conservationÄnkekonservering
A Protestant custom where a new vicar married his predecessor's widow to secure her support.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 1 moreShoe tossing
A wedding superstition where old shoes are thrown at the couple for good luckBlessing · After the wedding
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
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