A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house.
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A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house. This page looks at the roles of parents, witnesses, best men and bridesmaids, godparents and in-laws across the world, and at how they are changing.
In the Western church wedding, the father walks the bride down the aisle and is asked who gives this woman, a relic of the time when a daughter passed from one man's authority to another. Many couples now walk together, or have both parents or a mother walk the bride. In Hindu weddings the kanyadaan, the gift of the daughter, is made by the bride's parents, and in Jewish weddings both parents walk each partner to the chuppah. In Muslim weddings the bride's guardian, the wali, is traditionally present at the nikah, and in China the parents are served tea by the couple as a sign of respect.
Every legal wedding needs witnesses, and many cultures give the role to a trusted friend or relative. The Western best man, with his groomsmen, descends from the friends who helped a groom in the days of capture, and the bridesmaids from the women who dressed in the same clothes as the bride to confuse evil spirits. The koumbaro in Greece, the padrinos in Spain and Latin America, and the kum in the Balkans act as sponsors who hold the crowns, rings or cords, and become lifelong godparents to the couple and their children.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa the bride moves to the groom's family home, so the mother-in-law and sisters-in-law are central, and rituals such as the welcome with a lamp or a bowl of rice mark the arrival. Where the groom's side pays, as in parts of Europe, or the bride's side pays, as in India, who pays can shape the relationship. Tensions over the guest list, the seating and the customs are common, and families often solve them with clear talk and compromise.
Couples increasingly plan, and pay for, their own weddings, and give parents and friends of any gender a role. Fathers and mothers walk together, the best man may be a woman, and bridesmaids may include men. Blended and single-parent families adapt the roles to fit, and same-sex couples have created new ways of dividing them. The old forms still matter to many families, and the best weddings often include a nod to them.
In a Hindu wedding the bride's parents perform kanyadaan, placing her hand in the groom's, and the groom's mother welcomes the couple at the door with a lamp and rice. The groom's brother and the bride's brother have small ritual duties, such as the bride's brother pouring puffed rice into her hands.
Read: KanyadanaAt the nikah the bride is asked for her consent through her wali and two witnesses. The rukhsati, her ceremonial departure from her parents' home, is an emotional moment with prayers, and the groom's family receives her.
Rukhsati, being writtenNinongs and ninangs, sponsors who are often wealthy or respected friends of the parents, act as witnesses and give the couple gifts. The principal sponsors sign the register and hold the veil and cord used in the ceremony.
Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines, being writtenThe couple serve tea to the parents and elders, who give red envelopes and jewellery in return. The ceremony shows respect for the family and the welcome of the bride into her husband's household.
Chinese tea ceremony, being writtenAt a Shinto wedding the go-betweens, the nakodo, once arranged and introduced the match, and the families toast each other with sake in the sansan-kudo. The family of each side sit facing each other at the ceremony.
Nakōdo, being writtenThe tamada, a toastmaster, runs the feast, and the groom's family brings a gift of wine to the bride's, with the best man, called the mkhlis, close to the groom. The wedding is held in a church with a godparent often serving as the sponsor.
Read: TamadaAlso part of it, and being written: Best man (The groom's chief supporter.), Koumbaros (The Greek sponsor and best man.), Padrino (The Hispanic wedding sponsor.), Giving away the bride (The father at the altar.), Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines (The Filipino sponsors.), Chinese tea ceremony (Serving tea to elders.).
In many Western weddings it is the father, but it can be both parents, a mother, a friend or nobody. The custom is optional, and civil celebrants are used to many arrangements.
He supports the groom, looks after the rings, organises the bachelor party and gives a speech. In some places the role is called the groomsman of honour or the koumbaro.
In Greece, Spain, Latin America and the Balkans, the couple choose sponsors, called koumbaros, padrinos or kum, who take a ceremonial part and a lifelong role as friends of the marriage.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa traditionally yes, though many couples now live on their own. In some societies, such as the Minangkabau of Indonesia, the groom joins the bride's family.
Most countries require at least one or two witnesses at a civil or religious wedding, with rules that vary. Check the registrar in your country.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
The traditions written up so far, best known first.
🇳🇪 In-Gall, Niger and 2 moreGuérewol
A week-long courtship dance where Wodaabe men display their beauty to win the attention of marriageable women.Rite · The weeks before
🇩🇪 Hamburg, Germany and 3 moreWimpelווימפל
A linen sash made from a baby boy's circumcision cloth that binds the Torah scroll.Adornment · The weeks before
🇮🇷 Shiraz, Iran and 5 moreUlulation
A high-pitched trilling sound made by women to celebrate weddings and share good news across many cultures.Performance · Procession and arrival
🇬🇷 Crete, GreecePentozaliΠεντοζάλης
The vigorous Cretan war dance of high jumps and improvisation that marks the wedding procession.Performance · Procession and arrival
🇺🇦 Ukraine and 2 moreRushnykрушник (Ukrainian), ручнік (Belarusian), ручник/рушник (Russian)
The embroidered linen cloth that marks life stages and guides the couple through the wedding ceremony in East Slavic culAdornment · The weeks before
🇮🇹 Rome, ItalyWeddings in ancient Rome
The religious ceremonies and attire that marked a union in the city of Rome before the rise of Christianity.Rite · The weeks before
🇮🇳 Delhi, India and 1 moreBaraat
The groom's wedding procession through the streets to the bride's home or venue.Performance · Procession and arrival
🇮🇳 IndiaSehraसेहरा (Hindi)
A floral or beaded veil tied to the groom's turban before he departs for the wedding ceremony.Attire · The weeks before
🇫🇮 Finland and 5 moreBanns of marriagekuulutukset avioliittoon (Finnish)
The public announcement of an impending marriage in church or town hall to allow for legal objections.Vow · The weeks before
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 5 moreGroomsman
A male attendant who supports the groom and assists guests at a wedding.Family role · Finding a match
🇱🇹 Lithuania and 1 moreLithuanian wedding songsvestuvinės dainos
The polyphonic songs and weeping rituals that mark a Lithuanian bride's transition to her new family.Performance · Engagement and betrothal
🇲🇦 Morocco and 1 moreBerberisca dresskeswa-el-kbira (الكسوة الكبيرة)
The gold-embroidered wedding gown of Moroccan Jews, rooted in Spanish royal style.Attire · The weeks before
🇳🇬 NigeriaLefe
The presentation of gifts from the groom to the bride in Hausa weddings.Gift custom · The weeks before
🇮🇳 IndiaAyyavazhi wedding
The sacred rite of Ayyavazhi that treats marriage as a spiritual sacrament and family life as the highest austerity.Rite · Procession and arrival
🇮🇳 Lucknow, IndiaBabulबाबुल
The Hindi term for father that marks the emotional farewell of a bride leaving her home.Performance · The eve
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreAnand Karajਅਨੰਦ ਕਾਰਜ
The Sikh wedding rite where the couple circles the Guru Granth Sahib to four hymns of union.Rite · Procession and arrival
🇺🇸 United StatesRehearsal dinner
A pre-wedding meal held after the final practice to thank the wedding partyFeast custom · The weeks before
🇮🇳 IndiaHindi wedding songs
Film and folk music that accompanies the stages of a North Indian Hindu wedding.Performance · Engagement and betrothal
🇨🇳 China and 4 moreChinese wedding door games堵门游戏 (dǔmén yóuxì)
Challenges set by bridesmaids for the groom at the bride's home to prove his devotion.Play · Engagement and betrothal
🇭🇺 HungaryVőfély
The Hungarian wedding host who guides the couple through rites, speeches, and traditions.Family role · Finding a match
🇮🇳 IndiaGana
A sacred red thread tied to wrists for protection during wedding rituals in parts of India.Adornment · The weeks before
🇸🇿 EswatiniUmtsimbauntsimba
A multi-day Swazi wedding procession where the bride joins her husband's family through ritualised stages.Rite · Finding a match
🇷🇺 RussiaRussian wedding traditionsРусская свадьба
A multi-day celebration blending Orthodox crowning, ransom games, and lively toasting in Russia.Rite · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 IndiaOdia Hindu weddingBahaghara (ଓଡ଼ିଆ ବାହାଘର)
The traditional Hindu marriage ceremony of the Odia people in Odisha, India.Rite · Engagement and betrothal
🇵🇱 Poland and 1 moreBadchenבּדחן (badkhn)
The Ashkenazi Jewish wedding entertainer and master of ceremonies who guides the couple through ritual stages with song Performance · Engagement and betrothal
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
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