Vows, contracts and registration
The promise and the paperwork: the nikah contract, the ketubah, the register, the witnesses.
Vows, contracts and registration are the promise and the paperwork: what is said aloud, what is signed, who witnesses it and which authority records it. In some weddings the contract is the heart of the day, as with the nikah and the ketubah. In others the civil register is a separate visit with a separate dress.
The spoken promise
A Christian service uses set vows, such as the Book of Common Prayer's promise to have and to hold, though many couples now choose their own. A Hindu wedding has the saptapadi, in which each step is paired with a pledge about food, strength, prosperity, family, children and friendship. Sikh couples circle the Guru Granth Sahib four times during the lavan. A Quaker couple speaks directly to each other without a priest. Among Jews the groom says the formula under the canopy, and the bride accepts the ring.
The written contract
The ketubah, the nikah nama and the Zoroastrian marriage certificate are agreements with real terms: the ketubah sets out the husband's obligations to his wife, and the nikah contract records the mahr, the gift owed to the bride, along with any conditions she has added. Many Muslim women now use the contract to write in rights about work, residence and divorce. In Christian and civil weddings the register is signed by the couple and two witnesses, and the registrar then files it with the state.
Law and the faith side by side
In England and Wales a religious ceremony must usually be registered, and many mosque and temple weddings have historically lacked legal recognition, which leaves some women without protection. Countries such as Germany and France require a civil wedding first, with any religious service after. Others, such as Israel and Lebanon, have no civil marriage at home, so couples fly to Cyprus. Reform of these rules is a live issue in many places.
About this page
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Background on Vows, contracts and registration (kind of custom). Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
🇺🇸 New York, United States and 5 moreInterracial marriage
A union between spouses of different races or racialized ethnicities, now legal in most nations.Modern
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreAnand Karajਅਨੰਦ ਕਾਰਜ
The Sikh wedding rite where the couple circles the Guru Granth Sahib to four hymns of union.Rite · Procession and arrival
🇮🇳 India and 5 moreDowry
A payment of wealth from the bride's family to the groom or his household at marriage.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇵🇹 Lisbon, PortugalSame-sex marriage in PortugalCasamento entre pessoas do mesmo sexo
The legal recognition of marriage between two people of the same sex in Portugal.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Jerusalem, Israel and 4 moreAgunahעֲגוּנָה (Agunah)
A Jewish woman trapped in a marriage because her husband has not granted a religious divorce document known as a get.Vow · After the wedding
🇩🇪 Germany and 4 moreDower
A share of the husband's property set aside to secure a woman's life if he dies first.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇸 IcelandSame-sex marriage in Icelandsamkynja hjónaband
The legal union of two people regardless of gender, established in Iceland in 2010.Modern · The ceremony
🇮🇩 IndonesiaNgerorod
A traditional Balinese Hindu elopement where couples marry by mutual consent despite family opposition.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇩🇪 Germany and 5 moreMorganatic marriageEhe zur linken Hand
A union between people of unequal rank that bars the spouse and children from inheriting titles or throne rights.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇸 Las Vegas, United StatesLas Vegas weddings
Quick civil or religious ceremonies held in Las Vegas due to easy licensing and diverse venues.Setting · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 IndiaDaiva marriageदैवविवाह (Daivavivāha)
An ancient Hindu rite where a daughter is given to the priest who officiates her father's sacrifice.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇸 United States and 5 moreInterfaith marriage
A union between spouses of different faiths, navigating legal and religious boundaries across the world.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇨🇳 China and 5 morePosthumous marriageminghun
A union performed when one or both partners have died, kept in parts of Asia and permitted by law in a few nations.Betrothal · After the wedding
🇿🇦 Cape Town, South AfricaSame-sex marriage in South Africa
The legal recognition of same-sex unions established by the Civil Union Act of 2006.Modern · The ceremony
🇳🇱 Amsterdam, Netherlands and 5 moreSame-sex marriage
The legal union of two people of the same sex or gender, recognized in dozens of countries.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇪🇬 Egypt and 2 moreMisyar marriageزواج المسيار (zawāj al-misyār)
A Sunni Islamic contract where the wife waives cohabitation and financial support in exchange for a legal union.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇸 United States and 5 moreSealing (Mormonism)
A temple ritual that binds couples and families together for eternity.Rite · The ceremony
🇮🇶 Iraq and 1 moreInterdenominational marriage
A wedding between two people of different denominations within the same religion.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇸 United States and 2 moreLavender marriage
A heterosexual union formed to hide the queer identity of one or both partners and protect a public career.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 IndiaSaptapadiसप्तपदी (Saptapadī)
The seven steps or rounds around the sacred fire that complete a Hindu marriage.Rite · The ceremony
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 5 moreRing fingerdigitus annularis
The fourth digit of the hand where wedding and engagement rings are traditionally worn.Attire · The ceremony
🇦🇺 Sydney, AustraliaSame-sex marriage in Australia
The legal recognition of marriages between two people of the same gender in Australia.Modern · The ceremony
🇩🇰 Copenhagen, Denmark and 1 moreSame-sex marriage in Denmarkægteskab mellem personer af samme køn
The legal recognition of same-sex unions in Denmark since 2012, following a pioneering partnership law from 1989.Modern · The ceremony
🇧🇷 Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and 1 moreSame-sex marriage in Brazil
The nationwide legal recognition of same-sex unions following a 2013 judicial ruling.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Israel and 5 moreLevirate marriage
A custom where a man marries his deceased brother's widow to protect her and keep the family line intact.Betrothal · After the wedding
🇨🇳 Beijing, China and 4 moreHeqin和親 (Héqīn)
A historical Chinese policy of uniting imperial families with neighboring rulers to secure peace.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇷 Greece and 2 moreAdelphopoiesis
A historical Eastern Christian ceremony uniting two people of the same sex in a recognized spiritual bond.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇫🇷 France and 4 moreMore danicodansk skik
A Medieval Scandinavian marriage custom allowing polygyny and secular unions outside church control.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 IsraelGetגט
The Aramaic divorce document that frees a Jewish woman to remarryVow · After the wedding
🇿🇲 ZambiaPolygamy in Zambia
A legal form of marriage allowing one man to have multiple wives under customary law.Family role · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇧 United KingdomSame-sex marriage in Saint Helena, Ascension and Tristan da Cunha
The legal recognition of same-sex unions across the three island groups since 2017.Modern · The ceremony
🇮🇱 IsraelHalizahחליצה (ḥălīṣā)
The Jewish rite that frees a childless widow from the duty to marry her deceased husband's brother.Rite · After the wedding
🇩🇪 GermanyBeilager
A public ceremony in German-speaking lands where witnesses observed the couple entering the marriage bed to finalize theRite · The ceremony
🇩🇪 Germany and 3 moreHerem of Rabbeinu GershomḤerem de-Rabbeinu Gershom
Medieval ordinances that banned polygyny and forced divorce for Ashkenazi Jews.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇧 London, United Kingdom and 1 moreCivil partnership in the United Kingdom
A legal union for same-sex and opposite-sex couples in the UK, offering rights equal to marriage.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇳🇦 NamibiaRecognition of same-sex unions in Namibia
The legal status of same-sex marriage and foreign union recognition in NamibiaVow
🇧🇩 BangladeshPolygamy in Bangladesh
The practice of men taking multiple wives, regulated by different laws for Muslims and Hindus.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇦🇹 Vienna, AustriaSame-sex marriage in Austria
Civil marriage and partnership ceremonies for same-sex couples in AustriaVow · The ceremony
🇨🇦 Canada and 1 moreMarriage commissioner
A civil official appointed to solemnize weddings outside of religious or standard court settings.Vow · The ceremony
🇰🇪 KenyaRecognition of same-sex unions in Kenya
The legal ban on gay marriage alongside traditional female-to-female unions that persist in some communities.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇩🇪 Germany and 2 moreGet of Cleves
A disputed 1766 Jewish divorce document that sparked international rabbinic debate over mental competence.Vow · After the wedding
🇳🇵 NepalInter-caste marriage in Nepalअन्तरजातीय विवाह
Marriage across caste lines in a society where such unions were once illegal and remain socially contested.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇷 Athens, GreeceSame-sex marriage in GreeceΟμοφυλοφιλικός γάμος (Omofylofilikos gamos)
The legal recognition of marriage between two people of the same sex, effective since February 2024.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇵🇬 Papua New Guinea and 5 moreSister exchange
A marriage arrangement where two brothers each marry a sister from the other family.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇮🇱 IsraelIsha katlanitאישה קטלנית
A Jewish legal concept regarding a widow who has lost two husbands and the risks associated with her remarrying.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇿🇦 South AfricaCivil partnership in South Africa
A legal union in South Africa that grants same-sex and opposite-sex couples the same rights as marriage.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇱🇰 Kandy, Sri LankaKandyan marriage
The traditional union rites of Sri Lanka's Buddhist Kandyan community, defined by residence and inheritance.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇷 Iran and 3 moreXwedodahxwidōdāh
A Zoroastrian rite of close-kin marriage rooted in ancient cosmology and royal tradition.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
Photo credits on this page
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
- Same-sex marriage in Greece: Mzimu, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Xwedodah: Dageoa, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Interfaith marriage in Christianity: Andreas Praefcke, CC BY 3.0, source
- Laavaan: Ashish 100, CC BY 2.0, source
- Recognition of same-sex unions in South Korea: Nerd271, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- More danico: Edward Burne-Jones, Public domain, source
- Interracial marriage: Xavier Lejeune, CC BY 4.0, source
- Sister exchange: Wilses, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Dowry: Vassili Vladimirovich Pukiryov, Public domain, source
- Dower: Pvasiliadis, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Same-sex marriage in Iceland: Stanko Gruden/STA/Predsednik Republike Slovenije, CC0, source
- Lavender marriage: Katharine Cornell and the Playwrights' Company; Vandamm Studio, photog, Public domain, source
- Las Vegas weddings: Henrickson ( talk ) ( Uploads ), CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Sealing (Mormonism): NewNameNoah, CC BY 4.0, source
- Ring finger: RAPMOODDE, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Same-sex marriage in Denmark: PavelStotsko, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Same-sex marriage: Stefano Bolognini, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Morganatic marriage: Sergei Lvovich Levitsky (1819 – 1898) and Rafail Sergeevich Levitsky (, Public domain, source
- Saptapadi: Bhumish143, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Heqin: पाटलिपुत्र, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Same-sex marriage in Brazil: Fabio Pozzebom/ABr, CC BY 3.0 br, source
- Get: Moshe Rynecki (1881-1943), Public domain, source
- Halizah: Daderot, CC0, source
- Herem of Rabbeinu Gershom: Nixnubix, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Inter-caste marriage in Nepal: Sajan Pundit, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Same-sex marriage in Australia: Mikeybear, CC BY-SA 3.0, source