A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house.
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A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house. This page looks at the roles of parents, witnesses, best men and bridesmaids, godparents and in-laws across the world, and at how they are changing.
In the Western church wedding, the father walks the bride down the aisle and is asked who gives this woman, a relic of the time when a daughter passed from one man's authority to another. Many couples now walk together, or have both parents or a mother walk the bride. In Hindu weddings the kanyadaan, the gift of the daughter, is made by the bride's parents, and in Jewish weddings both parents walk each partner to the chuppah. In Muslim weddings the bride's guardian, the wali, is traditionally present at the nikah, and in China the parents are served tea by the couple as a sign of respect.
Every legal wedding needs witnesses, and many cultures give the role to a trusted friend or relative. The Western best man, with his groomsmen, descends from the friends who helped a groom in the days of capture, and the bridesmaids from the women who dressed in the same clothes as the bride to confuse evil spirits. The koumbaro in Greece, the padrinos in Spain and Latin America, and the kum in the Balkans act as sponsors who hold the crowns, rings or cords, and become lifelong godparents to the couple and their children.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa the bride moves to the groom's family home, so the mother-in-law and sisters-in-law are central, and rituals such as the welcome with a lamp or a bowl of rice mark the arrival. Where the groom's side pays, as in parts of Europe, or the bride's side pays, as in India, who pays can shape the relationship. Tensions over the guest list, the seating and the customs are common, and families often solve them with clear talk and compromise.
Couples increasingly plan, and pay for, their own weddings, and give parents and friends of any gender a role. Fathers and mothers walk together, the best man may be a woman, and bridesmaids may include men. Blended and single-parent families adapt the roles to fit, and same-sex couples have created new ways of dividing them. The old forms still matter to many families, and the best weddings often include a nod to them.
In a Hindu wedding the bride's parents perform kanyadaan, placing her hand in the groom's, and the groom's mother welcomes the couple at the door with a lamp and rice. The groom's brother and the bride's brother have small ritual duties, such as the bride's brother pouring puffed rice into her hands.
Read: KanyadanaAt the nikah the bride is asked for her consent through her wali and two witnesses. The rukhsati, her ceremonial departure from her parents' home, is an emotional moment with prayers, and the groom's family receives her.
Rukhsati, being writtenNinongs and ninangs, sponsors who are often wealthy or respected friends of the parents, act as witnesses and give the couple gifts. The principal sponsors sign the register and hold the veil and cord used in the ceremony.
Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines, being writtenThe couple serve tea to the parents and elders, who give red envelopes and jewellery in return. The ceremony shows respect for the family and the welcome of the bride into her husband's household.
Chinese tea ceremony, being writtenAt a Shinto wedding the go-betweens, the nakodo, once arranged and introduced the match, and the families toast each other with sake in the sansan-kudo. The family of each side sit facing each other at the ceremony.
Nakōdo, being writtenThe tamada, a toastmaster, runs the feast, and the groom's family brings a gift of wine to the bride's, with the best man, called the mkhlis, close to the groom. The wedding is held in a church with a godparent often serving as the sponsor.
Read: TamadaAlso part of it, and being written: Best man (The groom's chief supporter.), Koumbaros (The Greek sponsor and best man.), Padrino (The Hispanic wedding sponsor.), Giving away the bride (The father at the altar.), Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines (The Filipino sponsors.), Chinese tea ceremony (Serving tea to elders.).
In many Western weddings it is the father, but it can be both parents, a mother, a friend or nobody. The custom is optional, and civil celebrants are used to many arrangements.
He supports the groom, looks after the rings, organises the bachelor party and gives a speech. In some places the role is called the groomsman of honour or the koumbaro.
In Greece, Spain, Latin America and the Balkans, the couple choose sponsors, called koumbaros, padrinos or kum, who take a ceremonial part and a lifelong role as friends of the marriage.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa traditionally yes, though many couples now live on their own. In some societies, such as the Minangkabau of Indonesia, the groom joins the bride's family.
Most countries require at least one or two witnesses at a civil or religious wedding, with rules that vary. Check the registrar in your country.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
The traditions written up so far, best known first.
🇳🇬 Lagos, Nigeria and 3 moreAso ebiAsọ-Ẹbí
Matching outfits worn by groups to show solidarity at Yoruba weddings and other ceremoniesAttire · The weeks before
🇺🇦 Ukraine and 2 moreRushnykрушник (Ukrainian), ручнік (Belarusian), ручник/рушник (Russian)
The embroidered linen cloth that marks life stages and guides the couple through the wedding ceremony in East Slavic culAdornment · The weeks before
🇲🇽 Oaxaca, Mexico and 1 moreHuipilhuīpīlli
The traditional tunic worn by indigenous women in Mexico and Central America for weddings and daily life.Attire · The weeks before
🇿🇦 South AfricaUmemulo
The Zulu coming of age ceremony that marks a woman as ready for marriageRite · The weeks before
🇩🇪 Hamburg, Germany and 3 moreWimpelווימפל
A linen sash made from a baby boy's circumcision cloth that binds the Torah scroll.Adornment · The weeks before
🇮🇩 Indonesia and 2 moreKenduri
A communal feast and prayer gathering held by Javanese and Malay communities to mark life events.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreMaithil Vivahमैथिल विवाह
The arranged Hindu marriage of Maithils in the Mithila region, guided by Vedic texts and local customs.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇲🇾 Malaysia and 4 moreBaju Kurungباجو كوروڠ
The traditional blouse and skirt worn by Malay women for weddings and religious ceremoniesAttire · The weeks before
🇹🇭 Thailand and 5 moreBride price
Wealth paid by the groom or his family to the bride or her kin to formalize a union.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreMayian
A pre-wedding cleansing ritual in Punjabi culture where turmeric paste is applied to the couple.Blessing · The weeks before
🇮🇳 IndiaGaye holudগায়ে হলুদ
The turmeric ceremony that prepares the Bengali bride and groom for marriageRite · The weeks before
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 5 moreGroomsman
A male attendant who supports the groom and assists guests at a wedding.Family role · Finding a match
🇫🇮 Finland and 5 moreBanns of marriagekuulutukset avioliittoon (Finnish)
The public announcement of an impending marriage in church or town hall to allow for legal objections.Vow · The weeks before
🇷🇺 Russia and 5 moreBread and salt
A traditional welcome offering of bread and salt to guests or newlyweds in Slavic, Baltic, and Balkan cultures.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇭🇺 HungaryVőfély
The Hungarian wedding host who guides the couple through rites, speeches, and traditions.Family role · Finding a match
🇮🇳 IndiaKettu KalyanamTālikettukalyānam
A mock marriage ritual in Kerala that marked a girl as ready for real unions by tying a sacred thread.Betrothal · The weeks before
🇳🇵 Bhaktapur, NepalIhiईही (Nepal Bhasa)
A pre-puberty rite where Newar girls in Nepal are symbolically married to a deity or fruit.Betrothal · The weeks before
🇮🇳 IndiaBrahmanippattu
A devotional song and dance performed by Nambeesan women to bless a marriage with the grace of the Goddess.Performance · The weeks before
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 3 moreMarriage bond
A financial guarantee posted to prove a couple was legally free to marry before the ceremony took place.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇳🇬 NigeriaFattening room
A traditional Nigerian retreat where Efik women are secluded to learn skills and gain weight before marriage.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇸 United States and 5 moreBridal shower
A pre-wedding gift-giving party hosted for the bride by her friends and family.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 1 moreRèiteach
A Scottish Gaelic betrothal agreement between families in the Highlands and Canada.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇩 Lombok, IndonesiaMerariq
A Sasak ritual in Lombok where the groom takes the bride to his home with family consent.Rite · The weeks before
🇫🇷 Paris, FranceGlobe de mariée
A glass bell jar used in France to hold the bride's bouquet and preserve family memories.Adornment · The weeks before
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 2 moreQuaker wedding
A silent ceremony where Friends witness each other's vows without clergy or rigid rituals.Rite · The weeks before
🇹🇴 Tonga and 2 moreTaʻovala
The woven pandanus mat worn around the waist for formal occasions and weddings in Tonga.Attire · The weeks before
🇳🇬 NigeriaLefe
The presentation of gifts from the groom to the bride in Hausa weddings.Gift custom · The weeks before
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreLeirum Pheeꯂꯩꯔꯨꯝ ꯐꯤ
A traditional Meitei shawl given as a wedding gift from parents to daughtersAttire · Engagement and betrothal
🇲🇦 Tangier, MoroccoNegafanggafa (Tamazight); ziyyāna (Arabic)
The traditional Moroccan bridal dresser who manages the bride's appearance and wedding rituals.Attire · The weeks before
🇮🇳 IndiaSehraसेहरा (Hindi)
A floral or beaded veil tied to the groom's turban before he departs for the wedding ceremony.Attire · The weeks before
🇺🇸 Las Vegas, United States and 5 moreBachelor party
A final celebration for the groom before his wedding, with names and customs varying by region.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇰🇪 KenyaKoito
A Kalenjin dowry negotiation ritual that marks the formal agreement between families.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇸 United StatesRehearsal dinner
A pre-wedding meal held after the final practice to thank the wedding partyFeast custom · The weeks before
🇬🇷 Greece and 2 moreEngagement party
A gathering to announce a new engagement and introduce the two families before the wedding.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreChuraचूरा (Hindi)
The red and white bangles that mark a bride's new status in Indian Hindu weddingsAttire · The weeks before
🇮🇳 IndiaSakharpuda
The Maharashtrian engagement rite where sugar and coconuts seal a verbal promise between families.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreAiburo Bhaatআইবুড়ো ভাত
The final bachelor feast for the bride and groom before their Bengali weddingFeast custom · The weeks before
🇲🇷 Mauritania and 5 moreLeblouhالبلوح
The forced fattening of girls to improve their marriage prospects, a harmful practiceBetrothal · Finding a match
🇮🇩 IndonesiaSlametan
A communal Javanese feast that brings neighbors together for peace and social unity.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇺🇸 United States and 4 moreHope chest
A wooden chest where a bride collects linens and gifts before her wedding.Attire · Engagement and betrothal
🇯🇵 JapanYobai夜這い
A Japanese tradition of nighttime courtship visits before marriage.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇷🇺 Russia and 5 moreRadonitsaРа́доница (Russian), Прóводи (Ukrainian), Ра́даўніца (Belarusian)
The Orthodox memorial day that lifts fasting restrictions and officially opens the wedding season.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇧🇬 Bulgaria and 3 moreMartenitsaмартеница
White and red yarn charms worn in the Balkans to welcome spring and wish for good health.Adornment · The weeks before
🇲🇺 Mauritius and 1 moreGeet-Gawai𑂏𑂲𑂞 𑂏𑂫𑂰𑂆 (Bhojpuri)
A pre-wedding ritual of Bhojpuri-speaking people in Mauritius featuring songs and dance.Performance · Engagement and betrothal
🇯🇵 Kyoto, Japan and 5 moreTeeth blackeningohaguro
A traditional practice of dyeing teeth black to signal adulthood and beauty in parts of Asia and Oceania.Adornment · Engagement and betrothal
🇵🇭 Quezon City, PhilippinesBinukot
A Visayan custom of secluding young noblewomen to preserve their purity and elevate their marriage value.Betrothal · The weeks before
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
Every week: one wedding tradition from somewhere new, the wedding days coming up around the world, and one idea explained.
