A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house.
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A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house. This page looks at the roles of parents, witnesses, best men and bridesmaids, godparents and in-laws across the world, and at how they are changing.
In the Western church wedding, the father walks the bride down the aisle and is asked who gives this woman, a relic of the time when a daughter passed from one man's authority to another. Many couples now walk together, or have both parents or a mother walk the bride. In Hindu weddings the kanyadaan, the gift of the daughter, is made by the bride's parents, and in Jewish weddings both parents walk each partner to the chuppah. In Muslim weddings the bride's guardian, the wali, is traditionally present at the nikah, and in China the parents are served tea by the couple as a sign of respect.
Every legal wedding needs witnesses, and many cultures give the role to a trusted friend or relative. The Western best man, with his groomsmen, descends from the friends who helped a groom in the days of capture, and the bridesmaids from the women who dressed in the same clothes as the bride to confuse evil spirits. The koumbaro in Greece, the padrinos in Spain and Latin America, and the kum in the Balkans act as sponsors who hold the crowns, rings or cords, and become lifelong godparents to the couple and their children.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa the bride moves to the groom's family home, so the mother-in-law and sisters-in-law are central, and rituals such as the welcome with a lamp or a bowl of rice mark the arrival. Where the groom's side pays, as in parts of Europe, or the bride's side pays, as in India, who pays can shape the relationship. Tensions over the guest list, the seating and the customs are common, and families often solve them with clear talk and compromise.
Couples increasingly plan, and pay for, their own weddings, and give parents and friends of any gender a role. Fathers and mothers walk together, the best man may be a woman, and bridesmaids may include men. Blended and single-parent families adapt the roles to fit, and same-sex couples have created new ways of dividing them. The old forms still matter to many families, and the best weddings often include a nod to them.
In a Hindu wedding the bride's parents perform kanyadaan, placing her hand in the groom's, and the groom's mother welcomes the couple at the door with a lamp and rice. The groom's brother and the bride's brother have small ritual duties, such as the bride's brother pouring puffed rice into her hands.
Read: KanyadanaAt the nikah the bride is asked for her consent through her wali and two witnesses. The rukhsati, her ceremonial departure from her parents' home, is an emotional moment with prayers, and the groom's family receives her.
Rukhsati, being writtenNinongs and ninangs, sponsors who are often wealthy or respected friends of the parents, act as witnesses and give the couple gifts. The principal sponsors sign the register and hold the veil and cord used in the ceremony.
Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines, being writtenThe couple serve tea to the parents and elders, who give red envelopes and jewellery in return. The ceremony shows respect for the family and the welcome of the bride into her husband's household.
Chinese tea ceremony, being writtenAt a Shinto wedding the go-betweens, the nakodo, once arranged and introduced the match, and the families toast each other with sake in the sansan-kudo. The family of each side sit facing each other at the ceremony.
Nakōdo, being writtenThe tamada, a toastmaster, runs the feast, and the groom's family brings a gift of wine to the bride's, with the best man, called the mkhlis, close to the groom. The wedding is held in a church with a godparent often serving as the sponsor.
Read: TamadaAlso part of it, and being written: Best man (The groom's chief supporter.), Koumbaros (The Greek sponsor and best man.), Padrino (The Hispanic wedding sponsor.), Giving away the bride (The father at the altar.), Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines (The Filipino sponsors.), Chinese tea ceremony (Serving tea to elders.).
In many Western weddings it is the father, but it can be both parents, a mother, a friend or nobody. The custom is optional, and civil celebrants are used to many arrangements.
He supports the groom, looks after the rings, organises the bachelor party and gives a speech. In some places the role is called the groomsman of honour or the koumbaro.
In Greece, Spain, Latin America and the Balkans, the couple choose sponsors, called koumbaros, padrinos or kum, who take a ceremonial part and a lifelong role as friends of the marriage.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa traditionally yes, though many couples now live on their own. In some societies, such as the Minangkabau of Indonesia, the groom joins the bride's family.
Most countries require at least one or two witnesses at a civil or religious wedding, with rules that vary. Check the registrar in your country.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
The traditions written up so far, best known first.
🇳🇬 Lagos, Nigeria and 3 moreAso ebiAsọ-Ẹbí
Matching outfits worn by groups to show solidarity at Yoruba weddings and other ceremoniesAttire · The weeks before
🇳🇬 Iseyin, Nigeria and 2 moreAso okeAṣọ òkè
Hand-woven cloth worn by the Yoruba for weddings and formal gatheringsAttire · The ceremony
🇸🇿 Ludzidzini Royal Village, Eswatini and 1 moreUmhlanga
The annual Swazi and Zulu gathering where young women cut reeds to preserve chastity and offer tribute labour.Rite · The eve
🇺🇦 Ukraine and 2 moreRushnykрушник (Ukrainian), ручнік (Belarusian), ручник/рушник (Russian)
The embroidered linen cloth that marks life stages and guides the couple through the wedding ceremony in East Slavic culAdornment · The weeks before
🇼🇸 Samoa and 3 moreʻIe tōga
Prestige woven mats exchanged at Samoan weddings to honor family ties and chiefly status.Attire · The ceremony
🇮🇩 IndonesiaUlosᯥᯞᯘᯬ᯲
The hand-woven textile that binds Batak couples in marriage and symbolizes warmth.Attire · The ceremony
🇿🇦 South AfricaUmemulo
The Zulu coming of age ceremony that marks a woman as ready for marriageRite · The weeks before
🇪🇬 Egypt and 4 moreWaist beads
Strands of glass or seed worn around the hips to mark womanhood and track body changes in West and North Africa.Adornment · Engagement and betrothal
🇲🇽 Oaxaca, Mexico and 1 moreHuipilhuīpīlli
The traditional tunic worn by indigenous women in Mexico and Central America for weddings and daily life.Attire · The weeks before
🇺🇸 New York, United StatesSlave marriages in the United States
The unions formed by enslaved African Americans before and after the abolition of slavery in the US.Rite · The ceremony
🇰🇷 Seoul, South Korea and 3 moreBlessing ceremony
The large-scale marriage rite of the Unification Church where couples are matched and blessed by their leaders.Rite · The ceremony
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreMaithil Vivahमैथिल विवाह
The arranged Hindu marriage of Maithils in the Mithila region, guided by Vedic texts and local customs.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇮🇩 Indonesia and 2 moreKenduri
A communal feast and prayer gathering held by Javanese and Malay communities to mark life events.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇲🇾 Malaysia and 4 moreBaju Kurungباجو كوروڠ
The traditional blouse and skirt worn by Malay women for weddings and religious ceremoniesAttire · The weeks before
🇰🇷 Seoul, South Korea and 1 moreMarriage in KoreaKorean marriage (결혼)
A look at how Korean weddings blend ancient Confucian rites with modern legal practices.Rite · Finding a match
🇮🇳 IndiaSambandam
The traditional matrilineal marriage alliance of Kerala's Nairs and Nambudiris.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇮🇳 Delhi, India and 1 moreBaraat
The groom's wedding procession through the streets to the bride's home or venue.Performance · Procession and arrival
🇨🇳 China and 3 moreMarriage coin charm夫妇和合花钱 (fū fù hé hé huā qián)
Numismatic amulets from East Asia that carry wedding blessings and fertility symbols.Adornment · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreChuraचूरा (Hindi)
The red and white bangles that mark a bride's new status in Indian Hindu weddingsAttire · The weeks before
🇮🇩 Lombok, IndonesiaMerariq
A Sasak ritual in Lombok where the groom takes the bride to his home with family consent.Rite · The weeks before
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 3 moreBedding ceremony
The public ritual of placing the newlyweds in their marital bed to witness and seal the marriage.Rite · The ceremony
🇮🇱 Israel and 2 moreKetubahכְּתוּבָּה
The Jewish marriage contract that outlines the groom's financial and personal obligations to the bride.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Israel and 1 moreYibbumייבום
A Jewish rite where a brother marries his childless deceased brother's widow to continue the family line.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreAnand Karajਅਨੰਦ ਕਾਰਜ
The Sikh wedding rite where the couple circles the Guru Granth Sahib to four hymns of union.Rite · Procession and arrival
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 2 moreQuaker wedding
A silent ceremony where Friends witness each other's vows without clergy or rigid rituals.Rite · The weeks before
🇹🇴 Tonga and 2 moreTaʻovala
The woven pandanus mat worn around the waist for formal occasions and weddings in Tonga.Attire · The weeks before
🇬🇧 Edinburgh, United KingdomLuckenbooth brooch
A Scottish heart-shaped silver token of love and protection worn at weddings.Adornment · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇬 UgandaGomesi
The floor-length traditional dress worn by women in Buganda and Busoga for weddings and formal events.Attire · Engagement and betrothal
🇲🇦 Tangier, MoroccoNegafanggafa (Tamazight); ziyyāna (Arabic)
The traditional Moroccan bridal dresser who manages the bride's appearance and wedding rituals.Attire · The weeks before
🇨🇳 Guangdong, China and 2 moreQungua裙褂
A two-piece embroidered jacket and skirt worn by Cantonese brides for their wedding ceremony.Attire · The ceremony
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 5 moreGroomsman
A male attendant who supports the groom and assists guests at a wedding.Family role · Finding a match
🇭🇺 HungaryVőfély
The Hungarian wedding host who guides the couple through rites, speeches, and traditions.Family role · Finding a match
🇨🇳 ChinaTraditional Chinese marriage婚姻 (hūnyīn)
A union between two families governed by Confucian rites and the exchange of gifts.Rite · Finding a match
🇨🇭 Zurich, SwitzerlandSame-sex marriage in Switzerland
The legal recognition of marriage for same-sex couples following a national referendum.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 India and 5 moreDowry
A payment of wealth from the bride's family to the groom or his household at marriage.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇨🇳 China and 1 moreTraditional Chinese wedding dress
The wedding attire worn by Han Chinese couples, from the fengguan xiapei to the qunguaAttire · The ceremony
🇮🇩 IndonesiaMinangkabau marriage
A matrilineal wedding tradition from West Sumatra where the groom moves into his wife's family home.Family role · Engagement and betrothal
🇨🇳 China and 1 moreGhost marriage冥婚 (mínghūn)
A union arranged for deceased individuals to ensure harmony in the afterlife and care in this one.Rite · Finding a match
🇹🇱 Dili, Timor-Leste and 1 moreTimorese wedding traditionsBarlake
The gift exchange and family alliance rituals practiced on the island of Timor.Gift custom · Finding a match
🇮🇳 Mumbai, India and 3 moreDowry system in Indiaदहेज (Hindi), ज़ेहर (Urdu)
The transfer of cash and goods from the bride's family to the groom that has become a source of financial strain and vioGift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇸 Hawaii, United StatesCommon-law marriage in the United States
A legal union formed by mutual consent and public presentation without a license or ceremony.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇹 ItalyConfarreatio
The ancient Roman patrician marriage rite marked by sharing a sacred emmer cake.Rite · The ceremony
🇫🇷 France and 5 moreProxy marriage
A union where one or both partners are absent and represented by another person.Vow · The ceremony
🇵🇱 Poland and 1 moreBadchenבּדחן (badkhn)
The Ashkenazi Jewish wedding entertainer and master of ceremonies who guides the couple through ritual stages with song Performance · Engagement and betrothal
🇧🇷 Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and 1 moreSame-sex marriage in Brazil
The nationwide legal recognition of same-sex unions following a 2013 judicial ruling.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇶 Iraq and 1 moreInterdenominational marriage
A wedding between two people of different denominations within the same religion.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇳🇱 Amsterdam, Netherlands and 5 moreSame-sex marriage
The legal union of two people of the same sex or gender, recognized in dozens of countries.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇸 United States and 5 moreSealing (Mormonism)
A temple ritual that binds couples and families together for eternity.Rite · The ceremony
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
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