The weeks before
Invitations, the trousseau, the bridal shower, the bachelor night and the purifying baths.
The weeks before a wedding are a time of preparation: invitations, tailoring, shopping, cleaning the house, cooking and gathering family. Many cultures have rites in this period, from the bridal shower to purifying baths, and they are often held among women or among friends.
Invitations and gifts
Invitations range from printed cards to the traditional Indian practice of first inviting the deity Ganesha and then the family in person with sweets. In Ethiopia and many Arab families, relatives are invited verbally and in person. In parts of China, the groom's family sends cakes and tea to relatives. The trousseau is assembled, and in India and Pakistan a shopping trip for gold, cloth and gifts may take weeks.
Showers, stag nights and baths
Western brides may have a hen party and a bridal shower, and grooms a bachelor party or stag night. In Morocco and the Levant the bride visits the hammam with female relatives for a ritual bath. In Hindu tradition haldi and oil are applied. In Scotland the bride's friends may have a kitchen tea, and in Poland the panieński, the maiden evening, is held before the wedding.
What is changing
Pre-wedding events have expanded, with engagement shoots, destination bachelorette trips and multi-day celebrations. Many families now plan with shared online documents. Others scale back because of cost and keep only the core rite.
About this page
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Background on The weeks before (stage of the wedding). Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
🇮🇳 IndiaOppanaഒപ്പന
A circle dance and song tradition of the Mappila Muslim community in Kerala weddingsPerformance · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇹 ItalyFescennine VersesFescennina carmina
Bawdy wedding songs from Ancient Rome that evolved into satire and comic drama.Performance · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Jerusalem, IsraelTu B'Avט״ו באב
A minor Jewish holiday in Israel that serves as a popular day for weddings and matchmaking.Betrothal · The weeks before
🇲🇾 Malaysia and 4 moreBaju Kurungباجو كوروڠ
The traditional blouse and skirt worn by Malay women for weddings and religious ceremoniesAttire · The weeks before
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreMaithil Vivahमैथिल विवाह
The arranged Hindu marriage of Maithils in the Mithila region, guided by Vedic texts and local customs.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇿🇦 South AfricaUmemulo
The Zulu coming of age ceremony that marks a woman as ready for marriageRite · The weeks before
🇯🇵 Tokyo, JapanMizuhiki水引
The knotted paper cord that adorns Japanese wedding gifts and envelopesAdornment · Engagement and betrothal
🇵🇰 Hunza, PakistanMayoon
A pre-wedding seclusion period in Pakistan where the bride stays away from her groom for up to two weeks.Betrothal · The weeks before
🇳🇪 In-Gall, Niger and 2 moreGuérewol
A week-long courtship dance where Wodaabe men display their beauty to win the attention of marriageable women.Rite · The weeks before
🇳🇬 Lagos, Nigeria and 3 moreAso ebiAsọ-Ẹbí
Matching outfits worn by groups to show solidarity at Yoruba weddings and other ceremoniesAttire · The weeks before
🇧🇷 Brazil and 1 moreDia dos Namorados
Brazil's June 12 celebration of romance, held on the eve of Saint Anthony's feast day.Betrothal · The weeks before
🇪🇬 Cairo, EgyptTahtibتحطيب (taḥṭīb)
A traditional Egyptian stick-fighting martial art that evolved into a folk dance performed at weddings and celebrations.Performance · The weeks before
🇹🇭 Thailand and 5 moreBride price
Wealth paid by the groom or his family to the bride or her kin to formalize a union.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇰🇬 Kyrgyzstan and 2 moreAla kachuuала качуу
A Kyrgyz custom of taking a woman for marriage, ranging from consensual elopement to forced abduction.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 IndiaChaklong wedding
The traditional Ahom marriage system involving rice powder mandalas and ancestral rituals.Rite · Finding a match
🇬🇧 United KingdomBlackening
A messy pre-wedding prank where friends cover the couple in sticky substances and parade them through town.Play · The weeks before
🇿🇦 South AfricaUkuthwalwa
A South African practice of abducting a woman for marriage, now largely illegal and contested.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇮🇳 IndiaZoroastrian wedding
A Zoroastrian marriage ceremony featuring hand-fastening, rice sprinkling, and shared meals.Rite · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 IndiaSakharpuda
The Maharashtrian engagement rite where sugar and coconuts seal a verbal promise between families.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 IndiaIndian wedding clothes
Traditional garments worn by Indian couples and guests across multiple days of celebrationAttire · The weeks before
🇭🇺 HungaryVőfély
The Hungarian wedding host who guides the couple through rites, speeches, and traditions.Family role · Finding a match
🇮🇳 IndiaTelugu Hindu weddingతెలుగు వివాహ వేడుక
A multi-day Telugu Hindu marriage marked by seven vows around fire and family rituals.Rite · Finding a match
🇲🇷 Mauritania and 5 moreLeblouhالبلوح
The forced fattening of girls to improve their marriage prospects, a harmful practiceBetrothal · Finding a match
🇮🇷 Tehran, Iran and 1 moreIranian weddingمراسم عروسی در ایران
A multi-stage ceremony rooted in Zoroastrianism and Islam that binds families through courtship, feasts, and sacred vowsRite · Finding a match
🇸🇿 EswatiniUmtsimbauntsimba
A multi-day Swazi wedding procession where the bride joins her husband's family through ritualised stages.Rite · Finding a match
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 1 moreRèiteach
A Scottish Gaelic betrothal ceremony where families negotiate marriage terms and celebrate with whisky.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇪🇬 EgyptNikah 'urfiنكاح العرفي
An unregistered Islamic contract that allows couples to marry without state recognition or public ceremony.Betrothal · The weeks before
🇫🇷 Paris, FranceGlobe de mariée
A glass bell jar used in France to hold the bride's bouquet and preserve family memories.Adornment · The weeks before
🇨🇳 ChinaNaked marriage裸婚 (luǒhūn)
A wedding without a house, car, or ring, chosen by couples in China for love and financial necessity.Modern · The weeks before
🇮🇳 IndiaMehndi
The henna body art applied to brides and guests before a South Asian wedding ceremony.Adornment · The weeks before
🇰🇬 Kyrgyzstan and 5 moreBride kidnapping
The abduction of a woman or girl by a man who wishes to marry her, ranging from consensual elopement to violent coercionBetrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 IndiaIndian wedding invitationsNimantraṇa patra (निमन्त्रण पत्र)
Decorated cards sent to announce a marriage and invite guests to the celebration.Betrothal · The weeks before
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 5 moreGroomsman
A male attendant who supports the groom and assists guests at a wedding.Family role · Finding a match
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreAiburo Bhaatআইবুড়ো ভাত
The final bachelor feast for the bride and groom before their Bengali weddingFeast custom · The weeks before
🇺🇸 United States and 5 moreBridal shower
A pre-wedding gift-giving party hosted for the bride by her friends and family.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 India and 4 moreAuspicious wedding dates
The selection of lucky times for a ceremony based on astrology, numerology, and tradition.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇰🇪 KenyaKoito
A Kalenjin dowry negotiation ritual that marks the formal agreement between families.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇸 United StatesRehearsal dinner
A pre-wedding meal held after the final practice to thank the wedding partyFeast custom · The weeks before
🇪🇬 Egypt and 5 moreArab weddingزفاف or فرح or عرس
A series of family-centered rites and processions that mark marriage across the Arab world.Rite · Finding a match
🇨🇳 China and 2 moreChinese pre-wedding customs三書六禮 (sàam syù luhk láih)
The traditional betrothal rituals of the Book of Rites that prepare a Chinese marriage.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇵🇭 Philippines and 5 moreElopement
A secret marriage conducted without parental approval or public notice to bypass objections or legal barriers.Modern · The weeks before
🇳🇬 Nigeria and 1 moreHausa traditional marriage
The Islamic marriage rites of the Hausa people in Northern Nigeria and Niger.Rite · Finding a match
🇮🇳 IndiaMeitei weddingLuhongba (ꯂꯨꯍꯣꯡꯕ)
The traditional union of the Meitei people, marked by clan exogamy and specific courtship rituals.Rite · Finding a match
🇦🇿 AzerbaijanAzerbaijani wedding traditionsAzərbaycanın toy adətləri
The multi-step family rituals of Azerbaijani weddings, from matchmaking to the henna night.Rite · Finding a match
🇫🇷 France and 1 moreAcrostic ring
A jewelled band where gemstone initials spell a secret romantic wordAdornment · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇹 Sicily, ItalyFuitina
A Sicilian elopement custom used to force family consent for marriage through presumed sexual intercourse.Betrothal · The weeks before
🇬🇷 Greece and 2 moreEngagement party
A gathering to announce a new engagement and introduce the two families before the wedding.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇧🇳 BruneiBrunei Malay wedding
The sequence of ceremonies that mark the engagement and marriage of Brunei Malays.Rite · Finding a match
Photo credits on this page
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
- Ala kachuu: Illus. in: Turkestanskii al'bom, chast' étnograficheskaia: ..., 1871-1, Public domain, source
- Iranian wedding: Flickr.com user "avlxyz", CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Umtsimba: Cat7624, CC0, source
- Globe de mariée: Alain Amet, CC BY 4.0, source
- Mehndi: AKS.9955, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Bride kidnapping: Julius Schnorr von Carolsfeld, Public domain, source
- Indian wedding invitations: Onef9day, CC BY 3.0, source
- Baju Kurung: Ministry of Information official photographer, Public domain, source
- Groomsman: Jenny Mealing, CC BY 2.0, source
- Tahtib: Yasser Elrasoul, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Guérewol: Dan Lundberg, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Aiburo Bhaat: Ranganm2021, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Maithil Vivah: Sntshkumar750, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Mizuhiki: User:FA2010, Public domain, source
- Mayoon: katorisi, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Ukuthwalwa: Federal Bureau of Investigation, Public domain, source
- Aso ebi: SUPREME LACE, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Oppana: Shagil Kannur, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Bride price: Пимоненко Николай Корнилиевич, Public domain, source
- Chaklong wedding: Chiring chandan, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Chinese pre-wedding customs: Anonymous ( China ) Unknown author, CC0, source
- Hausa traditional marriage: Bembety, CC0, source
- Meitei wedding: Dabu Leichombam, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Azerbaijani wedding traditions: Azim Azimzadeh, Public domain, source
- Acrostic ring: Jlblackmore, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Engagement party: Melissa Gupta, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Indian wedding clothes: Lee Jordan, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Bridal shower: The McClouds, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Arab wedding: 13th century artist, Public domain, source