Feasts, food and drink
The customs of the wedding table: the cake, the sweets, the toast, the shared cup. Not recipes.
The wedding feast is where the families meet at one table. Who is served first, what is shared, what is toasted and what is broken or cut are all customs with meaning. Food at a wedding is an act of hospitality and a display of generosity, and the way it is served says much about who the hosts are.
Shared foods and the first bite
In Poland the couple are greeted with bread and salt and a glass of vodka. In Georgia a tamada, the toastmaster, directs a long sequence of toasts. In Armenia and Turkey the couple may share a sweet drink or a sugar cube. In Chinese banquets a whole fish is served for abundance, and the couple go table to table for toasts. In Indian weddings the thali or the long sit-down meal comes after the ceremony, and in the Gulf a whole roast lamb on rice may be the centrepiece.
Cake and sweets
The tiered wedding cake in Britain and the United States has its roots in the Victorian era and in older bride cakes and cakes broken over the bride's head. In Sweden and Denmark a tall kransekage is built from rings of almond paste. In Iran and India, sweets such as shirini and mithai are exchanged at the first betrothal. In France the croquembouche, a tower of cream puffs, is the traditional dessert.
Drink and restraint
Wine, champagne, mead and palm wine appear in many weddings, and the Orthodox common cup is a shared symbol. Many Muslim, Sikh, Jain and Hindu weddings are alcohol free, and non-alcoholic drinks like sherbet, lassi and fruit juice are served with equal care. Hosts increasingly cater for dietary needs and think about food waste.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Background on Feasts, food and drink (kind of custom). Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
🇺🇸 Las Vegas, United States and 5 moreBachelor party
A final celebration for the groom before his wedding, with names and customs varying by region.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇫🇷 France and 2 moreBonbonniere
A small decorative container holding sweets given as a wedding favor in several countries.Feast custom · Reception, dance and gifts
🇳🇵 Nepal and 2 moreKhata
A ceremonial scarf offered to show respect and welcome at weddings and other gatherings in Tibet and Nepal.Adornment · Reception, dance and gifts
🇨🇳 ChinaPlace card
A small card that tells a wedding guest where to sit and who sits next to them.Feast custom · Reception, dance and gifts
🇦🇺 AustraliaWishing well
A decorated box where guests leave cash or small gifts for couples who already have a home.Gift custom · Reception, dance and gifts
🇰🇪 Kenya and 1 moreAyie
The Luo bride price ceremony where the mother accepts payment and agrees to the marriage.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇵🇱 Kraków, PolandWedding of the Weddings
A Polish annual gathering for couples who chose alcohol-free wedding receptions.Feast custom · The ceremony
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreYajnaयज्ञ (Yajña)
A sacred fire ritual central to Hindu weddings and other rites of passageRite · The ceremony
🇲🇦 Morocco and 5 moreMimounaמימונה (Hebrew), ميمونة (Arabic)
The Maghrebi Jewish feast held the day after Passover to welcome leavened bread and good fortune.Feast custom · After the wedding
🇺🇦 Ukraine and 7 moreVechornytsiвечорниці
A Ukrainian courtship gathering where young people meet, dance and practice matchmaking rituals before the wedding seasoBetrothal · The weeks before
🇮🇳 Madurai, IndiaGoluBommai kolu (Tamil), Bommala Koluvu (Telugu), Gombe Habba (Kannada)
A tiered display of dolls and figurines arranged in South Indian homes during the Navaratri festival.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇵🇱 Poland and 5 moreTuroń
A horned effigy that visits homes during Carnival to wish for fertility and collect gifts.Blessing · The weeks before
🇮🇩 IndonesiaSlametan
A communal Javanese feast that brings neighbors together for peace and social unity.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇩🇪 GermanyLandshut WeddingLandshuter Hochzeit
A four-year historical pageant in Bavaria re-enacting the 1475 royal marriage of George and Hedwig.Setting · Engagement and betrothal
Photo credits on this page
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
- Landshut Wedding: Oktobersonne, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Yajna: Chainwit., CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Bachelor party: Derek Springer, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Golu: Ksiva21, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Bonbonniere: TitineH, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Khata: Wiki-uk, CC BY 3.0, source
- Wishing well: Unknown author, Public domain, source
- Ayie: SteveRwanda, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Mimouna: U.S. Embassy Tel Aviv, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Place card: Elizabeth Sullivan, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Vechornytsi: Гейслер, Кристиан Готфрид Генрих, Public domain, source
- Turoń: Museum: The Seweryn Udziela Ethnographic Museum in Kraków, CC0, source
- Slametan: Unknown author, CC BY-SA 3.0, source