A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house.
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A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house. This page looks at the roles of parents, witnesses, best men and bridesmaids, godparents and in-laws across the world, and at how they are changing.
In the Western church wedding, the father walks the bride down the aisle and is asked who gives this woman, a relic of the time when a daughter passed from one man's authority to another. Many couples now walk together, or have both parents or a mother walk the bride. In Hindu weddings the kanyadaan, the gift of the daughter, is made by the bride's parents, and in Jewish weddings both parents walk each partner to the chuppah. In Muslim weddings the bride's guardian, the wali, is traditionally present at the nikah, and in China the parents are served tea by the couple as a sign of respect.
Every legal wedding needs witnesses, and many cultures give the role to a trusted friend or relative. The Western best man, with his groomsmen, descends from the friends who helped a groom in the days of capture, and the bridesmaids from the women who dressed in the same clothes as the bride to confuse evil spirits. The koumbaro in Greece, the padrinos in Spain and Latin America, and the kum in the Balkans act as sponsors who hold the crowns, rings or cords, and become lifelong godparents to the couple and their children.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa the bride moves to the groom's family home, so the mother-in-law and sisters-in-law are central, and rituals such as the welcome with a lamp or a bowl of rice mark the arrival. Where the groom's side pays, as in parts of Europe, or the bride's side pays, as in India, who pays can shape the relationship. Tensions over the guest list, the seating and the customs are common, and families often solve them with clear talk and compromise.
Couples increasingly plan, and pay for, their own weddings, and give parents and friends of any gender a role. Fathers and mothers walk together, the best man may be a woman, and bridesmaids may include men. Blended and single-parent families adapt the roles to fit, and same-sex couples have created new ways of dividing them. The old forms still matter to many families, and the best weddings often include a nod to them.
In a Hindu wedding the bride's parents perform kanyadaan, placing her hand in the groom's, and the groom's mother welcomes the couple at the door with a lamp and rice. The groom's brother and the bride's brother have small ritual duties, such as the bride's brother pouring puffed rice into her hands.
Read: KanyadanaAt the nikah the bride is asked for her consent through her wali and two witnesses. The rukhsati, her ceremonial departure from her parents' home, is an emotional moment with prayers, and the groom's family receives her.
Rukhsati, being writtenNinongs and ninangs, sponsors who are often wealthy or respected friends of the parents, act as witnesses and give the couple gifts. The principal sponsors sign the register and hold the veil and cord used in the ceremony.
Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines, being writtenThe couple serve tea to the parents and elders, who give red envelopes and jewellery in return. The ceremony shows respect for the family and the welcome of the bride into her husband's household.
Chinese tea ceremony, being writtenAt a Shinto wedding the go-betweens, the nakodo, once arranged and introduced the match, and the families toast each other with sake in the sansan-kudo. The family of each side sit facing each other at the ceremony.
Nakōdo, being writtenThe tamada, a toastmaster, runs the feast, and the groom's family brings a gift of wine to the bride's, with the best man, called the mkhlis, close to the groom. The wedding is held in a church with a godparent often serving as the sponsor.
Read: TamadaAlso part of it, and being written: Best man (The groom's chief supporter.), Koumbaros (The Greek sponsor and best man.), Padrino (The Hispanic wedding sponsor.), Giving away the bride (The father at the altar.), Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines (The Filipino sponsors.), Chinese tea ceremony (Serving tea to elders.).
In many Western weddings it is the father, but it can be both parents, a mother, a friend or nobody. The custom is optional, and civil celebrants are used to many arrangements.
He supports the groom, looks after the rings, organises the bachelor party and gives a speech. In some places the role is called the groomsman of honour or the koumbaro.
In Greece, Spain, Latin America and the Balkans, the couple choose sponsors, called koumbaros, padrinos or kum, who take a ceremonial part and a lifelong role as friends of the marriage.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa traditionally yes, though many couples now live on their own. In some societies, such as the Minangkabau of Indonesia, the groom joins the bride's family.
Most countries require at least one or two witnesses at a civil or religious wedding, with rules that vary. Check the registrar in your country.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
The traditions written up so far, best known first.
🇮🇱 Israel and 2 moreKetubahכְּתוּבָּה
The Jewish marriage contract that outlines the groom's financial and personal obligations to the bride.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 Mumbai, India and 3 moreDowry system in Indiaदहेज (Hindi), ज़ेहर (Urdu)
The transfer of cash and goods from the bride's family to the groom that has become a source of financial strain and vioGift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇫🇮 Finland and 5 moreBanns of marriagekuulutukset avioliittoon (Finnish)
The public announcement of an impending marriage in church or town hall to allow for legal objections.Vow · The weeks before
🇹🇭 Bangkok, ThailandSame-sex marriage in Thailandสมรสเท่าเทียม (Somrot Thaothiam)
The legal recognition of same-sex unions that took effect in January 2025.Modern · The ceremony
🇮🇱 Israel and 1 moreYibbumייבום
A Jewish rite where a brother marries his childless deceased brother's widow to continue the family line.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Jerusalem, Israel and 2 moreJewish prenuptial agreement
A contract signed before the wedding to ensure a Jewish divorce can happen if one spouse refuses.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇯🇵 Tokyo, JapanSame-sex marriage in Japan同性結婚 (dōsei kekkon)
The legal battle and local partnership systems for same-sex couples in JapanModern
🇵🇭 Philippines and 5 moreElopement
A secret marriage conducted without parental approval or public notice to bypass objections or legal barriers.Modern · The weeks before
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 2 moreQuaker wedding
A silent ceremony where Friends witness each other's vows without clergy or rigid rituals.Rite · The weeks before
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 3 moreCivil ceremony
A secular marriage rite performed by a government official at a licensed venue.Vow · The ceremony
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 3 moreMarriage bond
A financial guarantee posted to prove a couple was legally free to marry before the ceremony took place.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇫🇷 France and 5 moreProxy marriage
A union where one or both partners are absent and represented by another person.Vow · The ceremony
🇹🇼 Taipei, TaiwanSame-sex marriage in Taiwan
The legal recognition of same-sex unions in Taiwan, the first in Asia.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇹 ItalyConfarreatio
The ancient Roman patrician marriage rite marked by sharing a sacred emmer cake.Rite · The ceremony
🇺🇸 New York, United States and 5 moreInterracial marriage
A union between spouses of different races or racialized ethnicities, now legal in most nations.Modern
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreAnand Karajਅਨੰਦ ਕਾਰਜ
The Sikh wedding rite where the couple circles the Guru Granth Sahib to four hymns of union.Rite · Procession and arrival
🇮🇳 India and 5 moreDowry
A payment of wealth from the bride's family to the groom or his household at marriage.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Jerusalem, Israel and 4 moreAgunahעֲגוּנָה (Agunah)
A Jewish woman trapped in a marriage because her husband has not granted a religious divorce document known as a get.Vow · After the wedding
🇩🇪 Germany and 4 moreDower
A share of the husband's property set aside to secure a woman's life if he dies first.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇩 IndonesiaNgerorod
A traditional Balinese Hindu elopement where couples marry by mutual consent despite family opposition.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇩🇪 Germany and 5 moreMorganatic marriageEhe zur linken Hand
A union between people of unequal rank that bars the spouse and children from inheriting titles or throne rights.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇸 United States and 5 moreSealing (Mormonism)
A temple ritual that binds couples and families together for eternity.Rite · The ceremony
🇮🇳 IndiaDaiva marriageदैवविवाह (Daivavivāha)
An ancient Hindu rite where a daughter is given to the priest who officiates her father's sacrifice.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇧🇷 Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and 1 moreSame-sex marriage in Brazil
The nationwide legal recognition of same-sex unions following a 2013 judicial ruling.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇸 United States and 5 moreInterfaith marriage
A union between spouses of different faiths, navigating legal and religious boundaries across the world.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 5 moreRing fingerdigitus annularis
The fourth digit of the hand where wedding and engagement rings are traditionally worn.Attire · The ceremony
🇮🇶 Iraq and 1 moreInterdenominational marriage
A wedding between two people of different denominations within the same religion.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇨🇳 China and 5 morePosthumous marriageminghun
A union performed when one or both partners have died, kept in parts of Asia and permitted by law in a few nations.Betrothal · After the wedding
🇮🇱 Israel and 5 moreLevirate marriage
A custom where a man marries his deceased brother's widow to protect her and keep the family line intact.Betrothal · After the wedding
🇺🇸 Las Vegas, United StatesLas Vegas weddings
Quick civil or religious ceremonies held in Las Vegas due to easy licensing and diverse venues.Setting · Engagement and betrothal
🇳🇱 Amsterdam, Netherlands and 5 moreSame-sex marriage
The legal union of two people of the same sex or gender, recognized in dozens of countries.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇦🇺 Sydney, AustraliaSame-sex marriage in Australia
The legal recognition of marriages between two people of the same gender in Australia.Modern · The ceremony
🇨🇳 Beijing, China and 4 moreHeqin和親 (Héqīn)
A historical Chinese policy of uniting imperial families with neighboring rulers to secure peace.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 IsraelHalizahחליצה (ḥălīṣā)
The Jewish rite that frees a childless widow from the duty to marry her deceased husband's brother.Rite · After the wedding
🇩🇪 Germany and 3 moreHerem of Rabbeinu GershomḤerem de-Rabbeinu Gershom
Medieval ordinances that banned polygyny and forced divorce for Ashkenazi Jews.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇨🇦 Canada and 1 moreMarriage commissioner
A civil official appointed to solemnize weddings outside of religious or standard court settings.Vow · The ceremony
🇰🇪 KenyaRecognition of same-sex unions in Kenya
The legal ban on gay marriage alongside traditional female-to-female unions that persist in some communities.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇩🇪 Germany and 2 moreGet of Cleves
A disputed 1766 Jewish divorce document that sparked international rabbinic debate over mental competence.Vow · After the wedding
🇵🇬 Papua New Guinea and 5 moreSister exchange
A marriage arrangement where two brothers each marry a sister from the other family.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇱🇰 Kandy, Sri LankaKandyan marriage
The traditional union rites of Sri Lanka's Buddhist Kandyan community, defined by residence and inheritance.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇩🇪 GermanyBeilager
A public ceremony in German-speaking lands where witnesses observed the couple entering the marriage bed to finalize theRite · The ceremony
🇬🇷 Athens, GreeceSame-sex marriage in GreeceΟμοφυλοφιλικός γάμος (Omofylofilikos gamos)
The legal recognition of marriage between two people of the same sex, effective since February 2024.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
Every week: one wedding tradition from somewhere new, the wedding days coming up around the world, and one idea explained.
