A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house.
Presented by ClearTrust Free for couples, families, guests and the curious.
A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house. This page looks at the roles of parents, witnesses, best men and bridesmaids, godparents and in-laws across the world, and at how they are changing.
In the Western church wedding, the father walks the bride down the aisle and is asked who gives this woman, a relic of the time when a daughter passed from one man's authority to another. Many couples now walk together, or have both parents or a mother walk the bride. In Hindu weddings the kanyadaan, the gift of the daughter, is made by the bride's parents, and in Jewish weddings both parents walk each partner to the chuppah. In Muslim weddings the bride's guardian, the wali, is traditionally present at the nikah, and in China the parents are served tea by the couple as a sign of respect.
Every legal wedding needs witnesses, and many cultures give the role to a trusted friend or relative. The Western best man, with his groomsmen, descends from the friends who helped a groom in the days of capture, and the bridesmaids from the women who dressed in the same clothes as the bride to confuse evil spirits. The koumbaro in Greece, the padrinos in Spain and Latin America, and the kum in the Balkans act as sponsors who hold the crowns, rings or cords, and become lifelong godparents to the couple and their children.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa the bride moves to the groom's family home, so the mother-in-law and sisters-in-law are central, and rituals such as the welcome with a lamp or a bowl of rice mark the arrival. Where the groom's side pays, as in parts of Europe, or the bride's side pays, as in India, who pays can shape the relationship. Tensions over the guest list, the seating and the customs are common, and families often solve them with clear talk and compromise.
Couples increasingly plan, and pay for, their own weddings, and give parents and friends of any gender a role. Fathers and mothers walk together, the best man may be a woman, and bridesmaids may include men. Blended and single-parent families adapt the roles to fit, and same-sex couples have created new ways of dividing them. The old forms still matter to many families, and the best weddings often include a nod to them.
In a Hindu wedding the bride's parents perform kanyadaan, placing her hand in the groom's, and the groom's mother welcomes the couple at the door with a lamp and rice. The groom's brother and the bride's brother have small ritual duties, such as the bride's brother pouring puffed rice into her hands.
Kanyadana, being writtenAt the nikah the bride is asked for her consent through her wali and two witnesses. The rukhsati, her ceremonial departure from her parents' home, is an emotional moment with prayers, and the groom's family receives her.
Rukhsati, being writtenNinongs and ninangs, sponsors who are often wealthy or respected friends of the parents, act as witnesses and give the couple gifts. The principal sponsors sign the register and hold the veil and cord used in the ceremony.
Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines, being writtenThe couple serve tea to the parents and elders, who give red envelopes and jewellery in return. The ceremony shows respect for the family and the welcome of the bride into her husband's household.
Chinese tea ceremony, being writtenAt a Shinto wedding the go-betweens, the nakodo, once arranged and introduced the match, and the families toast each other with sake in the sansan-kudo. The family of each side sit facing each other at the ceremony.
Nakōdo, being writtenThe tamada, a toastmaster, runs the feast, and the groom's family brings a gift of wine to the bride's, with the best man, called the mkhlis, close to the groom. The wedding is held in a church with a godparent often serving as the sponsor.
Read: TamadaAlso part of it, and being written: Kanyadana (The Hindu gift of the daughter.), Best man (The groom's chief supporter.), Bridesmaid (The bride's attendants.), Koumbaros (The Greek sponsor and best man.), Padrino (The Hispanic wedding sponsor.), Giving away the bride (The father at the altar.), Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines (The Filipino sponsors.), Chinese tea ceremony (Serving tea to elders.).
In many Western weddings it is the father, but it can be both parents, a mother, a friend or nobody. The custom is optional, and civil celebrants are used to many arrangements.
He supports the groom, looks after the rings, organises the bachelor party and gives a speech. In some places the role is called the groomsman of honour or the koumbaro.
In Greece, Spain, Latin America and the Balkans, the couple choose sponsors, called koumbaros, padrinos or kum, who take a ceremonial part and a lifelong role as friends of the marriage.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa traditionally yes, though many couples now live on their own. In some societies, such as the Minangkabau of Indonesia, the groom joins the bride's family.
Most countries require at least one or two witnesses at a civil or religious wedding, with rules that vary. Check the registrar in your country.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
The traditions written up so far, best known first.
🇩🇰 Copenhagen, Denmark and 2 moreKransekakekransekage
A towering almond ring cake central to Scandinavian wedding and holiday traditions.Feast custom · Reception, dance and gifts
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreToe ring
A silver band worn on the second toe to mark a woman as married in India.Adornment · The ceremony
🇲🇦 MoroccoAhidusⴰⵃⵉⴷⵓⵙ (aḥidous)
A collective Berber dance from Morocco performed in circles or lines to celebrate unity and victory.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts
🇮🇹 Rome, ItalyWeddings in ancient Rome
The religious ceremonies and attire that marked a union in the city of Rome before the rise of Christianity.Rite · The weeks before
🇮🇳 IndiaNishekam
The Hindu rite of consummation on the first night after marriageRite · The ceremony
🇲🇽 Oaxaca, Mexico and 1 moreHuipilhuīpīlli
The traditional tunic worn by indigenous women in Mexico and Central America for weddings and daily life.Attire · The weeks before
🇮🇳 IndiaOonjal
A decorated swing where the Tamil bride and groom sit to receive family blessings.Blessing · The ceremony
🇬🇪 Georgia and 1 moreTamadaთამადა
The toastmaster who leads the Georgian supra and sets the rhythm of a wedding feast.Feast custom · The wedding feast
🇺🇦 Ukraine and 2 moreRushnykрушник (Ukrainian), ручнік (Belarusian), ручник/рушник (Russian)
The embroidered linen cloth that marks life stages and guides the couple through the wedding ceremony in East Slavic culAdornment · The weeks before
🇮🇷 Shiraz, Iran and 5 moreUlulation
A high-pitched trilling sound made by women to celebrate weddings and share good news across many cultures.Performance · Procession and arrival
🇰🇿 KazakhstanBetasharбеташар
The lifting of the bride's veil by the groom's mother during a Kazakh wedding ceremonyRite · The ceremony
🇩🇪 Hamburg, Germany and 3 moreWimpelווימפל
A linen sash made from a baby boy's circumcision cloth that binds the Torah scroll.Adornment · The weeks before
🇱🇦 Laos and 1 moreBaciບາສີ (Lao); บายศรี (Thai)
The wrist-tying ceremony that calls the soul back to restore balance and good luck.Blessing · The ceremony
🇮🇩 Indonesia and 2 moreKenduri
A communal feast and prayer gathering held by Javanese and Malay communities to mark life events.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇫🇯 FijiTabua
A polished sperm whale tooth exchanged as a gift in Fijian weddings and ceremonies.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇭 Ghana and 2 moreKente clothnwentoma
Hand-woven silk and cotton strips from Ghana that mark weddings and graduationsAttire · The ceremony
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreAlpanaআলপনা (Bengali)
Rice flour floor paintings that bless homes and mark wedding celebrations in Bengal.Adornment · The weeks before
🇯🇵 JapanTamagushitamagushi (玉串)
A decorated sakaki branch offered to kami during Shinto wedding ceremonies and other rites.Rite · The ceremony
🇮🇳 IndiaTulasi Vivahतुलसी विवाह (Tulasī Vivāha)
A symbolic Hindu wedding uniting the holy basil plant with a stone representing Vishnu.Rite · The weeks before
🇮🇳 IndiaGaye holudগায়ে হলুদ
The turmeric ceremony that prepares the Bengali bride and groom for marriageRite · The weeks before
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreMayian
The turmeric paste ceremony held the day before Punjabi weddings in India and Pakistan.Rite · The weeks before
🇸🇩 Khartoum, SudanJirtigالجَرْتِقْ (Arabic)
A Sudanese inauguration ritual where the groom is symbolically crowned as a king.Rite · The weeks before
🇨🇳 China and 3 moreMarriage coin charm夫妇和合花钱 (fū fù hé hé huā qián)
Numismatic amulets from East Asia that carry wedding blessings and fertility symbols.Adornment · Engagement and betrothal
🇩🇪 Germany and 5 morePolterabend
The evening before the wedding when guests break porcelain to bring luck and test the couple's teamwork.Blessing · The eve
🇮🇳 IndiaGana
A sacred red thread tied to wrists for protection during wedding rituals in parts of India.Adornment · The weeks before
🇱🇰 Sri LankaPoruwa ceremony
The Sinhalese wedding ritual performed on a carved wooden platform with betel leaves and milk rice.Rite · The ceremony
🇯🇵 Tokyo, JapanShinto wedding神前結婚 (Shinzen kekkon)
A Shinto purification ritual featuring sake sharing and kimono attire held at a shrine or venue.Rite · The ceremony
🇺🇦 Ukraine and 4 moreKorovaiкоровай (Ukrainian), каравай (Russian), кравай (Bulgarian)
A large round braided bread shared at weddings to bless the couple and unite the community.Feast custom · The ceremony
🇪🇸 Spain and 2 moreWedding cord
A satin loop placed around the couple to symbolize their lifelong union in Catholic weddings.Rite · The ceremony
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreChuraचूरा (Hindi)
The red and white bangles that mark a bride's new status in Indian Hindu weddingsAttire · The weeks before
🇷🇺 Russia and 5 moreBread and salt
A traditional welcome offering of bread and salt to guests or newlyweds in Slavic, Baltic, and Balkan cultures.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇰🇷 South KoreaHwarot활옷
The embroidered Korean gown worn by brides during the pyebaek ceremony.Attire · Reception, dance and gifts
🇲🇦 Morocco and 1 moreBerberisca dresskeswa-el-kbira (الكسوة الكبيرة)
The gold-embroidered wedding gown of Moroccan Jews, rooted in Spanish royal style.Attire · The weeks before
🇹🇴 Tonga and 2 moreTaʻovala
The woven pandanus mat worn around the waist for formal occasions and weddings in Tonga.Attire · The weeks before
🇪🇬 Egypt and 2 moreHenna ceremonyليلة الحناء (Laylat al-Henna)
The pre-wedding gathering where the bride and guests receive intricate henna body art for luck and protection.Adornment · The weeks before
🇺🇸 United StatesUnity candle
A modern wedding ritual where a couple lights a central candle from two tapers to symbolize their union.Rite · The ceremony
🇮🇳 IndiaBrahmanippattu
A devotional song and dance performed by Nambeesan women to bless a marriage with the grace of the Goddess.Performance · The weeks before
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
Every week: one wedding tradition from somewhere new, the wedding days coming up around the world, and one idea explained.