A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house.
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A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house. This page looks at the roles of parents, witnesses, best men and bridesmaids, godparents and in-laws across the world, and at how they are changing.
In the Western church wedding, the father walks the bride down the aisle and is asked who gives this woman, a relic of the time when a daughter passed from one man's authority to another. Many couples now walk together, or have both parents or a mother walk the bride. In Hindu weddings the kanyadaan, the gift of the daughter, is made by the bride's parents, and in Jewish weddings both parents walk each partner to the chuppah. In Muslim weddings the bride's guardian, the wali, is traditionally present at the nikah, and in China the parents are served tea by the couple as a sign of respect.
Every legal wedding needs witnesses, and many cultures give the role to a trusted friend or relative. The Western best man, with his groomsmen, descends from the friends who helped a groom in the days of capture, and the bridesmaids from the women who dressed in the same clothes as the bride to confuse evil spirits. The koumbaro in Greece, the padrinos in Spain and Latin America, and the kum in the Balkans act as sponsors who hold the crowns, rings or cords, and become lifelong godparents to the couple and their children.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa the bride moves to the groom's family home, so the mother-in-law and sisters-in-law are central, and rituals such as the welcome with a lamp or a bowl of rice mark the arrival. Where the groom's side pays, as in parts of Europe, or the bride's side pays, as in India, who pays can shape the relationship. Tensions over the guest list, the seating and the customs are common, and families often solve them with clear talk and compromise.
Couples increasingly plan, and pay for, their own weddings, and give parents and friends of any gender a role. Fathers and mothers walk together, the best man may be a woman, and bridesmaids may include men. Blended and single-parent families adapt the roles to fit, and same-sex couples have created new ways of dividing them. The old forms still matter to many families, and the best weddings often include a nod to them.
In a Hindu wedding the bride's parents perform kanyadaan, placing her hand in the groom's, and the groom's mother welcomes the couple at the door with a lamp and rice. The groom's brother and the bride's brother have small ritual duties, such as the bride's brother pouring puffed rice into her hands.
Read: KanyadanaAt the nikah the bride is asked for her consent through her wali and two witnesses. The rukhsati, her ceremonial departure from her parents' home, is an emotional moment with prayers, and the groom's family receives her.
Rukhsati, being writtenNinongs and ninangs, sponsors who are often wealthy or respected friends of the parents, act as witnesses and give the couple gifts. The principal sponsors sign the register and hold the veil and cord used in the ceremony.
Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines, being writtenThe couple serve tea to the parents and elders, who give red envelopes and jewellery in return. The ceremony shows respect for the family and the welcome of the bride into her husband's household.
Chinese tea ceremony, being writtenAt a Shinto wedding the go-betweens, the nakodo, once arranged and introduced the match, and the families toast each other with sake in the sansan-kudo. The family of each side sit facing each other at the ceremony.
Nakōdo, being writtenThe tamada, a toastmaster, runs the feast, and the groom's family brings a gift of wine to the bride's, with the best man, called the mkhlis, close to the groom. The wedding is held in a church with a godparent often serving as the sponsor.
Read: TamadaAlso part of it, and being written: Best man (The groom's chief supporter.), Koumbaros (The Greek sponsor and best man.), Padrino (The Hispanic wedding sponsor.), Giving away the bride (The father at the altar.), Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines (The Filipino sponsors.), Chinese tea ceremony (Serving tea to elders.).
In many Western weddings it is the father, but it can be both parents, a mother, a friend or nobody. The custom is optional, and civil celebrants are used to many arrangements.
He supports the groom, looks after the rings, organises the bachelor party and gives a speech. In some places the role is called the groomsman of honour or the koumbaro.
In Greece, Spain, Latin America and the Balkans, the couple choose sponsors, called koumbaros, padrinos or kum, who take a ceremonial part and a lifelong role as friends of the marriage.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa traditionally yes, though many couples now live on their own. In some societies, such as the Minangkabau of Indonesia, the groom joins the bride's family.
Most countries require at least one or two witnesses at a civil or religious wedding, with rules that vary. Check the registrar in your country.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
The traditions written up so far, best known first.
🇬🇧 United KingdomQuaichcuach
A shallow two-handled cup used in Scottish weddings to share a drink and symbolise union.Feast custom · The ceremony
🇿🇦 South AfricaUmemulo
The Zulu coming of age ceremony that marks a woman as ready for marriageRite · The weeks before
🇲🇾 Malaysia and 4 moreBaju Kurungباجو كوروڠ
The traditional blouse and skirt worn by Malay women for weddings and religious ceremoniesAttire · The weeks before
🇰🇿 Kazakhstan and 1 moreKazakh wedding ceremonyҮйлену тойы (Üilenu toiy)
The multi-stage Kazakh marriage process featuring the face-revealing feast and the Islamic religious contract.Rite · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇩 Palembang, Indonesia and 2 moreSongketᬲᭀᬂᬓᬾᬢ᭄
A hand-woven brocade cloth patterned with gold or silver threads for traditional weddings in Southeast Asia.Attire · Engagement and betrothal
🇼🇸 Samoa and 3 moreʻIe tōga
Prestige woven mats exchanged at Samoan weddings to honor family ties and chiefly status.Attire · The ceremony
🇧🇷 Brazil and 1 moreDia dos Namorados
Brazil's June 12 celebration of romance, held on the eve of Saint Anthony's feast day.Betrothal · The weeks before
🇳🇬 Lagos, Nigeria and 3 moreAso ebiAsọ-Ẹbí
Matching outfits worn by groups to show solidarity at Yoruba weddings and other ceremoniesAttire · The weeks before
🇮🇩 IndonesiaUlosᯥᯞᯘᯬ᯲
The hand-woven textile that binds Batak couples in marriage and symbolizes warmth.Attire · The ceremony
🇮🇳 IndiaSambandam
The traditional matrilineal marriage alliance of Kerala's Nairs and Nambudiris.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇰🇷 Seoul, South Korea and 1 moreMarriage in KoreaKorean marriage (결혼)
A look at how Korean weddings blend ancient Confucian rites with modern legal practices.Rite · Finding a match
🇸🇿 Ludzidzini Royal Village, Eswatini and 1 moreUmhlanga
The annual Swazi and Zulu gathering where young women cut reeds to preserve chastity and offer tribute labour.Rite · The eve
🇾🇪 Yemen and 4 moreKafa'ahالكفاءة (al-kafā'ah)
The Islamic legal principle of social and religious equivalence between spouses in marriage.Vow · Finding a match
🇳🇪 In-Gall, Niger and 2 moreGuérewol
A week-long courtship dance where Wodaabe men display their beauty to win the attention of marriageable women.Rite · The weeks before
🇱🇰 Sri LankaBeena marriage
A pre-Islamic Arabian custom where the husband moves to the wife's home and she keeps her own tent.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇨🇱 Santiago, Chile and 3 moreCueca
A courtship dance from Chile and the Andes where couples trace circles with handkerchiefs to reenact a rooster and hen.Performance · The eve
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreMaithil Vivahमैथिल विवाह
The arranged Hindu marriage of Maithils in the Mithila region, guided by Vedic texts and local customs.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇵🇰 Hunza, PakistanMayoon
A pre-wedding seclusion period in Pakistan where the bride stays away from her groom for up to two weeks.Betrothal · The weeks before
🇪🇬 Egypt and 4 moreWaist beads
Strands of glass or seed worn around the hips to mark womanhood and track body changes in West and North Africa.Adornment · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 IndiaMadisarமடிசார் (Madisar)
The nine-yard sari drape worn by Tamil Brahmin women during weddings and religious rites.Attire · The ceremony
🇲🇲 MyanmarMarriage in Myanmar
A blend of Buddhist rites, astrological timing, and family negotiations that defines union across Myanmar's diverse ethnRite · Finding a match
🇦🇹 Austria and 4 moreDirndl
The bodice, skirt and apron dress worn by brides in the German-speaking Alps.Attire · The ceremony
🇸🇬 Singapore and 3 moreMatchmaking
The practice of pairing two people for marriage through an intermediary or system.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇹🇭 Thailand and 5 moreBride price
Wealth paid by the groom or his family to the bride or her kin to formalize a union.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreSvayamvaraस्वयंवर (svayaṃvara)
A ceremony where a bride selects her husband from assembled suitors or through a public contest.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 IndiaChaklong wedding
The traditional Ahom marriage system involving rice powder mandalas and ancestral rituals.Rite · Finding a match
🇦🇿 AzerbaijanAzerbaijani wedding traditionsAzərbaycanın toy adətləri
The multi-step family rituals of Azerbaijani weddings, from matchmaking to the henna night.Rite · Finding a match
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 5 moreGroomsman
A male attendant who supports the groom and assists guests at a wedding.Family role · Finding a match
🇸🇸 South Sudan and 1 moreGhost marriage in South Sudan
A union where a living brother stands in for a deceased groom to secure lineage and wealth.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 3 moreBedding ceremony
The public ritual of placing the newlyweds in their marital bed to witness and seal the marriage.Rite · The ceremony
🇮🇳 IndiaHindi wedding songs
Film and folk music that accompanies the stages of a North Indian Hindu wedding.Performance · Engagement and betrothal
🇿🇦 South Africa and 1 moreLobololobola (Zulu, Xhosa, Swazi, Ndebele), mahadi (Sesotho), mahari (Swahili), magadi (Sepedi), bogadi (Setswana), lovola (Xi
The livestock or cash payment from a groom's family to a bride's family that formalizes a customary marriage in SouthernGift custom · Finding a match
🇹🇼 Taipei, TaiwanSame-sex marriage in Taiwan
The legal recognition of same-sex unions in Taiwan, the first in Asia.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇯🇵 JapanMiai見合い (Miai)
A traditional Japanese matchmaking meeting where a man and woman consider marriage with the help of a go-between.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇵🇱 Poland and 1 moreBadchenבּדחן (badkhn)
The Ashkenazi Jewish wedding entertainer and master of ceremonies who guides the couple through ritual stages with song Performance · Engagement and betrothal
🇲🇷 Mauritania and 5 moreLeblouhالبلوح
The forced fattening of girls to improve their marriage prospects, a harmful practiceBetrothal · Finding a match
🇮🇸 IcelandIcelandic weddings
A blend of church ceremony and multi-day feasting that marks the union of two people in Iceland.Feast custom · The ceremony
🇪🇸 Spain and 2 moreLas arrasLas arras matrimoniales
Thirteen coins exchanged by the couple to symbolize provision and trust in a Christian marriage.Rite · The ceremony
🇨🇳 China and 4 moreChinese wedding door games堵门游戏 (dǔmén yóuxì)
Challenges set by bridesmaids for the groom at the bride's home to prove his devotion.Play · Engagement and betrothal
🇨🇦 Canada and 1 moreMarriage à la façon du paysMariage à la façon du pays
The common-law unions between European fur traders and Indigenous women that shaped North American history.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreLeirum Pheeꯂꯩꯔꯨꯝ ꯐꯤ
A traditional Meitei shawl given as a wedding gift from parents to daughtersAttire · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Jerusalem, Israel and 4 moreAgunahעֲגוּנָה (Agunah)
A Jewish woman trapped in a marriage because her husband has not granted a religious divorce document known as a get.Vow · After the wedding
🇰🇪 KenyaKoito
A Kalenjin dowry negotiation ritual that marks the formal agreement between families.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 IndiaTree marriage
A symbolic proxy marriage between a person and a tree to bypass restrictions on remarriageBetrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇲🇽 Oaxaca, MexicoOaxacan wedding
A multi-day Catholic celebration in Oaxaca featuring mole, mezcal, and communal dancing.Feast custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇧 United KingdomBlackening
A messy pre-wedding prank where friends cover the couple in sticky substances and parade them through town.Play · The weeks before
🇵🇬 Papua New Guinea and 5 moreSister exchange
A marriage arrangement where two brothers each take a sister from the other family as their wife.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇳🇱 NetherlandsKnottekistje
A silver Frisian box that replaced a knotted cloth as the token of engagement.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
Every week: one wedding tradition from somewhere new, the wedding days coming up around the world, and one idea explained.
