A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house.
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A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house. This page looks at the roles of parents, witnesses, best men and bridesmaids, godparents and in-laws across the world, and at how they are changing.
In the Western church wedding, the father walks the bride down the aisle and is asked who gives this woman, a relic of the time when a daughter passed from one man's authority to another. Many couples now walk together, or have both parents or a mother walk the bride. In Hindu weddings the kanyadaan, the gift of the daughter, is made by the bride's parents, and in Jewish weddings both parents walk each partner to the chuppah. In Muslim weddings the bride's guardian, the wali, is traditionally present at the nikah, and in China the parents are served tea by the couple as a sign of respect.
Every legal wedding needs witnesses, and many cultures give the role to a trusted friend or relative. The Western best man, with his groomsmen, descends from the friends who helped a groom in the days of capture, and the bridesmaids from the women who dressed in the same clothes as the bride to confuse evil spirits. The koumbaro in Greece, the padrinos in Spain and Latin America, and the kum in the Balkans act as sponsors who hold the crowns, rings or cords, and become lifelong godparents to the couple and their children.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa the bride moves to the groom's family home, so the mother-in-law and sisters-in-law are central, and rituals such as the welcome with a lamp or a bowl of rice mark the arrival. Where the groom's side pays, as in parts of Europe, or the bride's side pays, as in India, who pays can shape the relationship. Tensions over the guest list, the seating and the customs are common, and families often solve them with clear talk and compromise.
Couples increasingly plan, and pay for, their own weddings, and give parents and friends of any gender a role. Fathers and mothers walk together, the best man may be a woman, and bridesmaids may include men. Blended and single-parent families adapt the roles to fit, and same-sex couples have created new ways of dividing them. The old forms still matter to many families, and the best weddings often include a nod to them.
In a Hindu wedding the bride's parents perform kanyadaan, placing her hand in the groom's, and the groom's mother welcomes the couple at the door with a lamp and rice. The groom's brother and the bride's brother have small ritual duties, such as the bride's brother pouring puffed rice into her hands.
Read: KanyadanaAt the nikah the bride is asked for her consent through her wali and two witnesses. The rukhsati, her ceremonial departure from her parents' home, is an emotional moment with prayers, and the groom's family receives her.
Rukhsati, being writtenNinongs and ninangs, sponsors who are often wealthy or respected friends of the parents, act as witnesses and give the couple gifts. The principal sponsors sign the register and hold the veil and cord used in the ceremony.
Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines, being writtenThe couple serve tea to the parents and elders, who give red envelopes and jewellery in return. The ceremony shows respect for the family and the welcome of the bride into her husband's household.
Chinese tea ceremony, being writtenAt a Shinto wedding the go-betweens, the nakodo, once arranged and introduced the match, and the families toast each other with sake in the sansan-kudo. The family of each side sit facing each other at the ceremony.
Nakōdo, being writtenThe tamada, a toastmaster, runs the feast, and the groom's family brings a gift of wine to the bride's, with the best man, called the mkhlis, close to the groom. The wedding is held in a church with a godparent often serving as the sponsor.
Read: TamadaAlso part of it, and being written: Best man (The groom's chief supporter.), Koumbaros (The Greek sponsor and best man.), Padrino (The Hispanic wedding sponsor.), Giving away the bride (The father at the altar.), Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines (The Filipino sponsors.), Chinese tea ceremony (Serving tea to elders.).
In many Western weddings it is the father, but it can be both parents, a mother, a friend or nobody. The custom is optional, and civil celebrants are used to many arrangements.
He supports the groom, looks after the rings, organises the bachelor party and gives a speech. In some places the role is called the groomsman of honour or the koumbaro.
In Greece, Spain, Latin America and the Balkans, the couple choose sponsors, called koumbaros, padrinos or kum, who take a ceremonial part and a lifelong role as friends of the marriage.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa traditionally yes, though many couples now live on their own. In some societies, such as the Minangkabau of Indonesia, the groom joins the bride's family.
Most countries require at least one or two witnesses at a civil or religious wedding, with rules that vary. Check the registrar in your country.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
The traditions written up so far, best known first.
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 3 moreMarriage bond
A financial guarantee posted to prove a couple was legally free to marry before the ceremony took place.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇵🇭 Philippines and 5 moreElopement
A secret marriage conducted without parental approval or public notice to bypass objections or legal barriers.Modern · The weeks before
🇳🇬 NigeriaFattening room
A traditional Nigerian retreat where Efik women are secluded to learn skills and gain weight before marriage.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇸 United States and 5 moreBridal shower
A pre-wedding gift-giving party hosted for the bride by her friends and family.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 IndiaMeitei weddingLuhongba (ꯂꯨꯍꯣꯡꯕ)
The traditional union of the Meitei people, marked by clan exogamy and specific courtship rituals.Rite · Finding a match
🇻🇳 VietnamTraditional Vietnamese weddingLễ cưới truyền thống Việt Nam
The multi-stage ceremony of betrothal, engagement and union that marks a marriage in Vietnam.Attire · Finding a match
🇺🇸 United StatesRehearsal dinner
A pre-wedding meal held after the final practice to thank the wedding partyFeast custom · The weeks before
🇸🇿 EswatiniUmtsimbauntsimba
A multi-day Swazi wedding procession where the bride joins her husband's family through ritualised stages.Rite · Finding a match
🇨🇳 China and 2 moreChinese pre-wedding customs三書六禮 (sàam syù luhk láih)
The traditional betrothal rituals of the Book of Rites that prepare a Chinese marriage.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇰🇬 Kyrgyzstan and 5 moreBride kidnapping
The abduction of a woman or girl by a man who wishes to marry her, ranging from consensual elopement to violent coercionBetrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreAiburo Bhaatআইবুড়ো ভাত
The final bachelor feast for the bride and groom before their Bengali weddingFeast custom · The weeks before
🇧🇩 Bangladesh and 1 moreBengali Muslim weddingবাঙালি মুসলিম বিয়ে
A multi-day Bengali Muslim marriage blending Islamic rites with local folk traditions.Rite · The weeks before
🇧🇳 BruneiBrunei Malay wedding
The sequence of ceremonies that mark the engagement and marriage of Brunei Malays.Rite · Finding a match
🇬🇷 Greece and 2 moreEngagement party
A gathering to announce a new engagement and introduce the two families before the wedding.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇳🇵 Bhaktapur, NepalIhiईही (Nepal Bhasa)
A pre-puberty rite where Newar girls in Nepal are symbolically married to a deity or fruit.Betrothal · The weeks before
🇮🇳 IndiaZoroastrian wedding
A Zoroastrian marriage ceremony featuring hand-fastening, rice sprinkling, and shared meals.Rite · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 IndiaSakharpuda
The Maharashtrian engagement rite where sugar and coconuts seal a verbal promise between families.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇳🇵 Nepal and 2 moreKhata
A ceremonial scarf offered to show respect and welcome at weddings and other gatherings in Tibet and Nepal.Adornment · Reception, dance and gifts
🇮🇪 Ireland and 3 moreBachelor's Day
The custom that lets women propose to men on Leap DayBetrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇰🇪 Kenya and 1 moreAyie
The Luo bride price ceremony where the mother accepts payment and agrees to the marriage.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇷 Greece and 1 moreAnastenariaΑναστενάρια (Greek), Нестинарство (Bulgarian)
A barefoot firewalking ritual performed by Orthodox Christian communities in Greece and Bulgaria.Rite · The weeks before
🇮🇳 Madurai, IndiaGoluBommai kolu (Tamil), Bommala Koluvu (Telugu), Gombe Habba (Kannada)
A tiered display of dolls and figurines arranged in South Indian homes during the Navaratri festival.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇮🇩 IndonesiaSlametan
A communal Javanese feast that brings neighbors together for peace and social unity.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇺🇸 United States and 4 moreHope chest
A wooden chest where a bride collects linens and gifts before her wedding.Attire · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 Delhi, India and 2 moreKarva Chauthकरकचतुर्थी (Karakachaturthī)
A Hindu festival where married women fast from sunrise to moonrise for their husband's health and life.Betrothal · The weeks before
🇦🇺 Australia and 5 moreCelebrancy
A profession of secular officiants who create personalised life ceremonies for people outside traditional religious or sModern · The weeks before
🇭🇺 Hungary and 2 moreEaster sprinkling in Hungaryhúsvéti locsolás
An Easter Monday custom where boys sprinkle water or perfume on girls and receive painted eggs in return.Betrothal · The weeks before
🇵🇱 Poland and 3 moreEaster palmPolish: palma wielkanocna; Lithuanian: verba
A decorated willow or juniper bundle blessed on Palm Sunday to protect homes and crops.Blessing · The weeks before
🇧🇬 Bulgaria and 3 moreMartenitsaмартеница
White and red yarn charms worn in the Balkans to welcome spring and wish for good health.Adornment · The weeks before
🇯🇵 JapanYobai夜這い
A Japanese tradition of nighttime courtship visits before marriage.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇷🇴 Ieud, RomaniaNunta mortului
A symbolic Romanian rite that dresses an unmarried dead person as a bride or groom to complete their life cycle.Rite · The weeks before
🇷🇸 Serbia and 3 moreLazariceлазарице (Serbian), лазаруване (Bulgarian)
A South Slavic procession of young unmarried women who bless homes before Palm SundayBlessing · The weeks before
🇦🇪 United Arab Emirates and 1 moreNadbaالندبة
A ceremonial battle cry and dance performed by the Shihuh tribe of the Musandam Peninsula.Performance · The weeks before
🇭🇷 CroatiaZa križen
A night-long Maundy Thursday procession on Hvar island that honors the Weeping of the Lady.Blessing · The weeks before
🇲🇺 Mauritius and 1 moreGeet-Gawai𑂏𑂲𑂞 𑂏𑂫𑂰𑂆 (Bhojpuri)
A pre-wedding ritual of Bhojpuri-speaking people in Mauritius featuring songs and dance.Performance · Engagement and betrothal
🇰🇷 South KoreaChaesang채상 (Chaesang)
Woven bamboo boxes used to store dowry items in traditional Korean weddingsGift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇰🇭 Cambodia and 3 moreTugging rituals and games
A rope-pulling game played across Southeast and East Asia to mark the farming season and build community bonds.Play · The weeks before
🇨🇾 Pano Lefkara, CyprusLefkara laceLefkaritika
The intricate white cotton embroidery from Cyprus that forms a bride's essential dowry collection.Attire · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇷 Bojnord, Iran and 1 moreTurkmen embroidery
Intricate silk embroidery on wedding and daily wear that marks territorial identity and family skill.Attire · The weeks before
🇷🇺 Russia and 5 moreRadonitsaРа́доница (Russian), Прóводи (Ukrainian), Ра́даўніца (Belarusian)
The Orthodox memorial day that lifts fasting restrictions and officially opens the wedding season.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇵🇭 Quezon City, PhilippinesBinukot
A Visayan custom of secluding young noblewomen to preserve their purity and elevate their marriage value.Betrothal · The weeks before
🇯🇵 Kyoto, Japan and 5 moreTeeth blackeningohaguro
A traditional practice of dyeing teeth black to signal adulthood and beauty in parts of Asia and Oceania.Adornment · Engagement and betrothal
🇨🇳 ChinaHebao荷包 (Hébāo)
A traditional Chinese embroidered pouch used for gifts, medicine, and romantic tokens.Adornment · Engagement and betrothal
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
Every week: one wedding tradition from somewhere new, the wedding days coming up around the world, and one idea explained.
