Family roles and who does what
Who gives the bride away, who walks, who stands witness, who pays and who sits where.
A wedding is a family event first. Who walks the bride, who stands as witness, who pays, who sits at the head table and who is the best man are all roles with their own names and history. They show how a community thinks about family, and they change as families change.
Giving and receiving
Western weddings often have the father walk the bride down the aisle, a custom with roots in the transfer of authority. Hindu kanyadaan, the gift of the daughter, is performed by the bride's parents, though some now reinterpret or skip it. In Jewish weddings both sets of parents may walk the groom and the bride to the chuppah. In Muslim weddings a wali, often the father, acts for the bride, and in the Hanafi school a woman may also contract her own marriage.
Witnesses and supporters
Greek and Orthodox weddings have a koumbaros or koumbara who crowns the couple and becomes a lifelong family friend. Spanish and Latin American weddings have padrinos and madrinas who sponsor parts of the day. English weddings have the best man and the maid of honour, and Hindu weddings the bride's brother, who pours rice into her hands in the laja homa. Jewish and Muslim weddings need two witnesses.
What is changing
Mothers now often walk their daughters, couples enter together, and step-parents and same-sex parents have a clear place. Many couples pay for their own weddings. The role of in-laws is still strong in places where couples live with the husband's family, and brides are pressing for fair treatment of their own parents too.
About this page
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Background on Family roles and who does what (kind of custom). Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
🇨🇳 China and 1 moreTraditional Chinese wedding dress
The wedding attire worn by Han Chinese couples, from the fengguan xiapei to the qunguaAttire · The ceremony
🇮🇷 Iran and 5 moreCollective wedding
A single ceremony where many couples exchange vows and become married at once.Modern · The ceremony
🇳🇬 NigeriaFattening room
A traditional Nigerian retreat where Efik women are secluded to learn skills and gain weight before marriage.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇬 UgandaGomesi
The floor-length traditional dress worn by women in Buganda and Busoga for weddings and formal events.Attire · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Jerusalem, Israel and 4 moreAgunahעֲגוּנָה (Agunah)
A Jewish woman trapped in a marriage because her husband has not granted a religious divorce document known as a get.Vow · After the wedding
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreLeirum Pheeꯂꯩꯔꯨꯝ ꯐꯤ
A traditional Meitei shawl given as a wedding gift from parents to daughtersAttire · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇸 United States and 5 moreBridal shower
A pre-wedding gift-giving party hosted for the bride by her friends and family.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇹🇱 Dili, Timor-Leste and 1 moreTimorese wedding traditionsBarlake
The gift exchange and family alliance rituals practiced on the island of Timor.Gift custom · Finding a match
🇰🇪 KenyaKoito
A Kalenjin dowry negotiation ritual that marks the formal agreement between families.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇲🇦 Tangier, MoroccoNegafanggafa (Tamazight); ziyyāna (Arabic)
The traditional Moroccan bridal dresser who manages the bride's appearance and wedding rituals.Attire · The weeks before
🇺🇸 United StatesRehearsal dinner
A pre-wedding meal held after the final practice to thank the wedding partyFeast custom · The weeks before
🇺🇸 Pittsburgh, United States and 1 moreCookie table
A display of assorted homemade cookies served alongside the wedding cake at a reception.Feast custom · Reception, dance and gifts
🇨🇳 Guangdong, China and 2 moreQungua裙褂
A two-piece embroidered jacket and skirt worn by Cantonese brides for their wedding ceremony.Attire · The ceremony
🇨🇳 ChinaTraditional Chinese marriage婚姻 (hūnyīn)
A union between two families governed by Confucian rites and the exchange of gifts.Rite · Finding a match
🇵🇱 Poland and 1 moreBadchenבּדחן (badkhn)
The Ashkenazi Jewish wedding entertainer and master of ceremonies who guides the couple through ritual stages with song Performance · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇸 United States and 5 moreBridesmaid
A female attendant who supports the bride during a Western wedding ceremony.Family role · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇸 United States and 5 moreSealing (Mormonism)
A temple ritual that binds couples and families together for eternity.Rite · The ceremony
🇮🇳 India and 5 moreWedding veil
A cloth covering the head or face worn by brides and grooms to mark marriage.Attire · The ceremony
🇺🇸 United States and 5 moreInterfaith marriage
A union between spouses of different faiths, navigating legal and religious boundaries across the world.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇶 Iraq and 1 moreInterdenominational marriage
A wedding between two people of different denominations within the same religion.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇸 United States and 2 moreLavender marriage
A heterosexual union formed to hide the queer identity of one or both partners and protect a public career.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Israel and 5 moreLevirate marriage
A custom where a man marries his deceased brother's widow to protect her and keep the family line intact.Betrothal · After the wedding
🇸🇾 Syria and 3 moreMystery of Crowning
The crowning ritual in Eastern Christian weddings that marks the couple as king and queen.Rite · The ceremony
🇨🇳 China and 5 morePosthumous marriageminghun
A union performed when one or both partners have died, kept in parts of Asia and permitted by law in a few nations.Betrothal · After the wedding
🇧🇹 Bhutan and 5 moreSororate marriage
A practice where a man marries his late or infertile wife's sister to keep family ties strong.Family role · After the wedding
🇧🇷 Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and 1 moreSame-sex marriage in Brazil
The nationwide legal recognition of same-sex unions following a 2013 judicial ruling.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇳🇱 Amsterdam, Netherlands and 5 moreSame-sex marriage
The legal union of two people of the same sex or gender, recognized in dozens of countries.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇪🇬 Egypt and 2 moreMisyar marriageزواج المسيار (zawāj al-misyār)
A Sunni Islamic contract where the wife waives cohabitation and financial support in exchange for a legal union.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇨🇳 ChinaPlace card
A small card that tells a wedding guest where to sit and who sits next to them.Feast custom · Reception, dance and gifts
🇵🇱 Kraków, PolandWedding of the Weddings
A Polish annual gathering for couples who chose alcohol-free wedding receptions.Feast custom · The ceremony
🇨🇳 Beijing, China and 4 moreHeqin和親 (Héqīn)
A historical Chinese policy of uniting imperial families with neighboring rulers to secure peace.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇷🇴 Romania and 4 moreCălușariCălușarii
A traditional Romanian spring dance and male society known for acrobatic leaps and ritual healing.Performance · The weeks before
🇳🇴 NorwayEsbat
A monthly Wiccan gathering held around the moon phases for ritual and communityBlessing · The ceremony
🇦🇫 Afghanistan and 1 moreBaad
A customary settlement where a girl or woman is handed over to an offended household to close a dispute.Gift custom
🇮🇩 IndonesiaSlametan
A communal Javanese feast that brings neighbors together for peace and social unity.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇰🇪 KenyaRecognition of same-sex unions in Kenya
The legal ban on gay marriage alongside traditional female-to-female unions that persist in some communities.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇾🇪 YemenPolygamy in Yemen
A legal practice allowing Muslim men to marry up to four wives under specific conditions.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇩🇪 Germany and 2 moreGet of Cleves
A disputed 1766 Jewish divorce document that sparked international rabbinic debate over mental competence.Vow · After the wedding
🇹🇩 ChadPolygamy in Chad
A legally recognized marriage structure where one husband has multiple wives across Chadian communities.Family role
🇱🇷 LiberiaPolygamy in Liberia
A customary practice allowing men to have multiple wives despite civil law.Modern
🇿🇲 ZambiaPolygamy in Zambia
A legal form of marriage allowing one man to have multiple wives under customary law.Family role · Engagement and betrothal
🇧🇭 BahrainPolygamy in Bahrain
A legal marital arrangement where a man may have multiple wives, practiced by a minority of citizens.Modern
🇩🇪 Germany and 3 moreHerem of Rabbeinu GershomḤerem de-Rabbeinu Gershom
Medieval ordinances that banned polygyny and forced divorce for Ashkenazi Jews.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇪🇸 SpainRoyal Pragmatic on MarriageReal Pragmática
A Spanish law requiring parental permission for marriage to enforce social class boundaries.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇱🇰 Kandy, Sri LankaPolygamy in Sri Lanka
The historical and current legal status of multiple marriages under Kandyan and Muslim law.Vow
🇳🇵 NepalInter-caste marriage in Nepalअन्तरजातीय विवाह
Marriage across caste lines in a society where such unions were once illegal and remain socially contested.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇵🇬 Papua New Guinea and 5 moreSister exchange
A marriage arrangement where two brothers each marry a sister from the other family.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇬🇳 GuineaPolygamy in Guinea
A polygynous marriage structure regulated by Guinean family law since 2019.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
Photo credits on this page
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
- Interfaith marriage in Christianity: Andreas Praefcke, CC BY 3.0, source
- Xiuhefu: Tunere, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Sister exchange: Wilses, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Collective wedding: Tribunal de Justiça do Estado do Pará, Public domain, source
- Gomesi: sarahemcc, CC BY 2.0, source
- Bridal shower: The McClouds, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Timorese wedding traditions: ColinTrainor, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Negafa: Amine.elbahij, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Cookie table: Chris Winters, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Qungua: Fduyjfroea Homz, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Traditional Chinese marriage: Unknown author, Public domain, source
- Wedding veil: David Ring, CC0, source
- Lavender marriage: Katharine Cornell and the Playwrights' Company; Vandamm Studio, photog, Public domain, source
- Mystery of Crowning: Shakko, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Sealing (Mormonism): NewNameNoah, CC BY 4.0, source
- Same-sex marriage: Stefano Bolognini, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Heqin: पाटलिपुत्र, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Same-sex marriage in Brazil: Fabio Pozzebom/ABr, CC BY 3.0 br, source
- Călușari: El bes, CC BY 3.0, source
- Place card: Elizabeth Sullivan, CC BY-SA 2.0, source
- Herem of Rabbeinu Gershom: Nixnubix, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Slametan: Unknown author, CC BY-SA 3.0, source
- Inter-caste marriage in Nepal: Sajan Pundit, CC BY-SA 4.0, source
- Badchen: Unknown author, Public domain, source
- Bridesmaid: Photographer not credited; relative or work for hire of relative., CC BY-SA 4.0, source