A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house.
Presented by ClearTrust Free for couples, families, guests and the curious.
A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house. This page looks at the roles of parents, witnesses, best men and bridesmaids, godparents and in-laws across the world, and at how they are changing.
In the Western church wedding, the father walks the bride down the aisle and is asked who gives this woman, a relic of the time when a daughter passed from one man's authority to another. Many couples now walk together, or have both parents or a mother walk the bride. In Hindu weddings the kanyadaan, the gift of the daughter, is made by the bride's parents, and in Jewish weddings both parents walk each partner to the chuppah. In Muslim weddings the bride's guardian, the wali, is traditionally present at the nikah, and in China the parents are served tea by the couple as a sign of respect.
Every legal wedding needs witnesses, and many cultures give the role to a trusted friend or relative. The Western best man, with his groomsmen, descends from the friends who helped a groom in the days of capture, and the bridesmaids from the women who dressed in the same clothes as the bride to confuse evil spirits. The koumbaro in Greece, the padrinos in Spain and Latin America, and the kum in the Balkans act as sponsors who hold the crowns, rings or cords, and become lifelong godparents to the couple and their children.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa the bride moves to the groom's family home, so the mother-in-law and sisters-in-law are central, and rituals such as the welcome with a lamp or a bowl of rice mark the arrival. Where the groom's side pays, as in parts of Europe, or the bride's side pays, as in India, who pays can shape the relationship. Tensions over the guest list, the seating and the customs are common, and families often solve them with clear talk and compromise.
Couples increasingly plan, and pay for, their own weddings, and give parents and friends of any gender a role. Fathers and mothers walk together, the best man may be a woman, and bridesmaids may include men. Blended and single-parent families adapt the roles to fit, and same-sex couples have created new ways of dividing them. The old forms still matter to many families, and the best weddings often include a nod to them.
In a Hindu wedding the bride's parents perform kanyadaan, placing her hand in the groom's, and the groom's mother welcomes the couple at the door with a lamp and rice. The groom's brother and the bride's brother have small ritual duties, such as the bride's brother pouring puffed rice into her hands.
Read: KanyadanaAt the nikah the bride is asked for her consent through her wali and two witnesses. The rukhsati, her ceremonial departure from her parents' home, is an emotional moment with prayers, and the groom's family receives her.
Rukhsati, being writtenNinongs and ninangs, sponsors who are often wealthy or respected friends of the parents, act as witnesses and give the couple gifts. The principal sponsors sign the register and hold the veil and cord used in the ceremony.
Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines, being writtenThe couple serve tea to the parents and elders, who give red envelopes and jewellery in return. The ceremony shows respect for the family and the welcome of the bride into her husband's household.
Chinese tea ceremony, being writtenAt a Shinto wedding the go-betweens, the nakodo, once arranged and introduced the match, and the families toast each other with sake in the sansan-kudo. The family of each side sit facing each other at the ceremony.
Nakōdo, being writtenThe tamada, a toastmaster, runs the feast, and the groom's family brings a gift of wine to the bride's, with the best man, called the mkhlis, close to the groom. The wedding is held in a church with a godparent often serving as the sponsor.
Read: TamadaAlso part of it, and being written: Best man (The groom's chief supporter.), Koumbaros (The Greek sponsor and best man.), Padrino (The Hispanic wedding sponsor.), Giving away the bride (The father at the altar.), Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines (The Filipino sponsors.), Chinese tea ceremony (Serving tea to elders.).
In many Western weddings it is the father, but it can be both parents, a mother, a friend or nobody. The custom is optional, and civil celebrants are used to many arrangements.
He supports the groom, looks after the rings, organises the bachelor party and gives a speech. In some places the role is called the groomsman of honour or the koumbaro.
In Greece, Spain, Latin America and the Balkans, the couple choose sponsors, called koumbaros, padrinos or kum, who take a ceremonial part and a lifelong role as friends of the marriage.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa traditionally yes, though many couples now live on their own. In some societies, such as the Minangkabau of Indonesia, the groom joins the bride's family.
Most countries require at least one or two witnesses at a civil or religious wedding, with rules that vary. Check the registrar in your country.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
The traditions written up so far, best known first.
🇧🇷 Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and 1 moreSame-sex marriage in Brazil
The nationwide legal recognition of same-sex unions following a 2013 judicial ruling.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 Israel and 5 moreLevirate marriage
A custom where a man marries his deceased brother's widow to protect her and keep the family line intact.Betrothal · After the wedding
🇳🇱 Amsterdam, Netherlands and 5 moreSame-sex marriage
The legal union of two people of the same sex or gender, recognized in dozens of countries.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇸 United States and 5 moreInterfaith marriage
A union between spouses of different faiths, navigating legal and religious boundaries across the world.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇧🇹 Bhutan and 5 moreSororate marriage
A practice where a man marries his late or infertile wife's sister to keep family ties strong.Family role · After the wedding
🇨🇳 Beijing, China and 4 moreHeqin和親 (Héqīn)
A historical Chinese policy of uniting imperial families with neighboring rulers to secure peace.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇦🇫 Afghanistan and 1 moreBaad
A customary settlement where a girl or woman is handed over to an offended household to close a dispute.Gift custom
🇮🇩 IndonesiaSlametan
A communal Javanese feast that brings neighbors together for peace and social unity.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇱🇷 LiberiaPolygamy in Liberia
A customary practice allowing men to have multiple wives despite civil law.Modern
🇩🇪 GermanyBeilager
A public ceremony in German-speaking lands where witnesses observed the couple entering the marriage bed to finalize theRite · The ceremony
🇺🇸 United StatesCovenant marriage
A stricter legal marriage contract in three US states that limits divorce grounds and requires counseling.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇸🇦 Saudi Arabia and 5 moreCousin marriage in the Middle East
A traditional practice of marrying close relatives, especially paternal cousins, across Middle Eastern communities.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇷🇼 RwandaPolygamy in Rwanda
The traditional practice of men having multiple wives, now illegal but still found in rural areas.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇩 IndonesiaPolygamy in Indonesia
The legal and customary practice of men having multiple wives across Indonesian faiths and communities.Family role · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇬 Uganda and 3 morePolygamy in Uganda
The legal practice of a man having multiple wives simultaneously in Uganda and neighboring nations.Family role · Engagement and betrothal
🇳🇵 NepalSherpa marriage
The astrological matching and barley beer offering that binds a Sherpa couple.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇾🇪 YemenPolygamy in Yemen
A legal practice allowing Muslim men to marry up to four wives under specific conditions.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇱 IsraelGetגט
The Aramaic divorce document that frees a Jewish woman to remarryVow · After the wedding
🇿🇦 South AfricaUkungenwa
A South African custom where a widowed woman is inherited by her late husband's male relatives.Family role · After the wedding
🇮🇱 Israel and 1 moreLieberman clause
A ketubah provision for rabbinic arbitration to prevent a woman from being unable to remarry.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇦🇫 Kabul, AfghanistanPolygamy in Afghanistan
The practice of Afghan men taking multiple wives under Islamic and civil law.Family role · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇳 GuineaPolygamy in Guinea
A polygynous marriage structure regulated by Guinean family law since 2019.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇨🇳 China and 1 moreTongyangxi童養媳 (tóngyǎngxí); Hokkien: 媳婦仔 (sim-pū-á)
An adopted girl raised beside a son so a poor family could be sure he would have a wifeBetrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇳 Kinnaur, IndiaPolyandry in India
A practice where a woman has multiple husbands at the same time, found in specific Indian communities.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇪🇸 SpainRoyal Pragmatic on MarriageReal Pragmática
A Spanish law requiring parental permission for marriage to enforce social class boundaries.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇱🇰 Kandy, Sri LankaPolygamy in Sri Lanka
The historical and current legal status of multiple marriages under Kandyan and Muslim law.Vow
🇮🇹 Rome, Italy and 1 moreContubernium
A recognized union between slaves or a slave and a free person in ancient RomeBetrothal · After the wedding
🇮🇳 Saurath, India and 2 moreSaurath Sabha
The annual Maithil Brahmin gathering in Bihar for arranged marriages based on lineage records.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇰🇪 KenyaRecognition of same-sex unions in Kenya
The legal ban on gay marriage alongside traditional female-to-female unions that persist in some communities.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇩🇪 Germany and 2 moreGet of Cleves
A disputed 1766 Jewish divorce document that sparked international rabbinic debate over mental competence.Vow · After the wedding
🇳🇬 Kano, NigeriaPolygamy in Nigeria
A marital practice where men take multiple wives, legally recognized in twelve northern states under Sharia law.Family role · Engagement and betrothal
🇰🇭 Phnom Penh, CambodiaSame-sex marriage in Cambodia
The legal status and local registry for same-sex couples in Cambodia.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇧🇭 BahrainPolygamy in Bahrain
A legal marital arrangement where a man may have multiple wives, practiced by a minority of citizens.Modern
🇿🇲 ZambiaPolygamy in Zambia
A legal form of marriage allowing one man to have multiple wives under customary law.Family role · Engagement and betrothal
🇩🇪 Germany and 3 moreHerem of Rabbeinu GershomḤerem de-Rabbeinu Gershom
Medieval ordinances that banned polygyny and forced divorce for Ashkenazi Jews.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇸🇦 Saudi Arabia and 2 morePolygamy in Saudi Arabia
A legal marriage structure allowing a man to have up to four wives under Islamic law.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇸 United States and 1 morePostnuptial agreement
A contract signed after marriage to plan for divorce or death.Vow · After the wedding
🇳🇬 Nigeria and 1 moreSurrogate marriage
A woman marries another woman to bear children for her lineage when she cannot have them herself.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇹🇩 ChadPolygamy in Chad
A legally recognized marriage structure where one husband has multiple wives across Chadian communities.Family role
🇮🇱 Israel and 2 moreHeter meah rabbanimהיתר מאה רבנים
A rare exemption allowing a man to remarry when his wife refuses a Jewish divorce.Vow · After the wedding
🇮🇪 Galway, Ireland and 1 moreMarriage stone
A carved stone bearing the initials and date of a newly married couple, placed on a building to mark their union.Adornment · After the wedding
🇯🇵 Japan and 4 morePicture brideNakōdo (仲人) matchmaking; Jungmae gyeolhon (결혼) process
Early twentieth century marriages arranged through photographs between Asian immigrant men and women in Hawaii and the UBetrothal · Finding a match
🇿🇦 South AfricaPolygamy in South Africa
The practice of men marrying more than one wife under customary and Islamic law in South Africa.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇵🇬 Papua New Guinea and 5 moreSister exchange
A marriage arrangement where two brothers each marry a sister from the other family.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇬🇭 GhanaPolygamy in Ghana
A practice where a man has multiple wives, recognized under customary law but illegal under civil statutes.Family role · Engagement and betrothal
🇱🇰 Kandy, Sri LankaKandyan marriage
The traditional union rites of Sri Lanka's Buddhist Kandyan community, defined by residence and inheritance.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇺🇿 UzbekistanPolygamy in Uzbekistan
The practice of men taking multiple wives in a country where the law strictly forbids it.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇲🇲 Myanmar and 1 moreMayu-Dama
The Kachin kinship system that defines who can marry whom through wife-giver and wife-taker rolesBetrothal · Finding a match
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
Every week: one wedding tradition from somewhere new, the wedding days coming up around the world, and one idea explained.
