A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house.
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A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house. This page looks at the roles of parents, witnesses, best men and bridesmaids, godparents and in-laws across the world, and at how they are changing.
In the Western church wedding, the father walks the bride down the aisle and is asked who gives this woman, a relic of the time when a daughter passed from one man's authority to another. Many couples now walk together, or have both parents or a mother walk the bride. In Hindu weddings the kanyadaan, the gift of the daughter, is made by the bride's parents, and in Jewish weddings both parents walk each partner to the chuppah. In Muslim weddings the bride's guardian, the wali, is traditionally present at the nikah, and in China the parents are served tea by the couple as a sign of respect.
Every legal wedding needs witnesses, and many cultures give the role to a trusted friend or relative. The Western best man, with his groomsmen, descends from the friends who helped a groom in the days of capture, and the bridesmaids from the women who dressed in the same clothes as the bride to confuse evil spirits. The koumbaro in Greece, the padrinos in Spain and Latin America, and the kum in the Balkans act as sponsors who hold the crowns, rings or cords, and become lifelong godparents to the couple and their children.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa the bride moves to the groom's family home, so the mother-in-law and sisters-in-law are central, and rituals such as the welcome with a lamp or a bowl of rice mark the arrival. Where the groom's side pays, as in parts of Europe, or the bride's side pays, as in India, who pays can shape the relationship. Tensions over the guest list, the seating and the customs are common, and families often solve them with clear talk and compromise.
Couples increasingly plan, and pay for, their own weddings, and give parents and friends of any gender a role. Fathers and mothers walk together, the best man may be a woman, and bridesmaids may include men. Blended and single-parent families adapt the roles to fit, and same-sex couples have created new ways of dividing them. The old forms still matter to many families, and the best weddings often include a nod to them.
In a Hindu wedding the bride's parents perform kanyadaan, placing her hand in the groom's, and the groom's mother welcomes the couple at the door with a lamp and rice. The groom's brother and the bride's brother have small ritual duties, such as the bride's brother pouring puffed rice into her hands.
Read: KanyadanaAt the nikah the bride is asked for her consent through her wali and two witnesses. The rukhsati, her ceremonial departure from her parents' home, is an emotional moment with prayers, and the groom's family receives her.
Rukhsati, being writtenNinongs and ninangs, sponsors who are often wealthy or respected friends of the parents, act as witnesses and give the couple gifts. The principal sponsors sign the register and hold the veil and cord used in the ceremony.
Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines, being writtenThe couple serve tea to the parents and elders, who give red envelopes and jewellery in return. The ceremony shows respect for the family and the welcome of the bride into her husband's household.
Chinese tea ceremony, being writtenAt a Shinto wedding the go-betweens, the nakodo, once arranged and introduced the match, and the families toast each other with sake in the sansan-kudo. The family of each side sit facing each other at the ceremony.
Nakōdo, being writtenThe tamada, a toastmaster, runs the feast, and the groom's family brings a gift of wine to the bride's, with the best man, called the mkhlis, close to the groom. The wedding is held in a church with a godparent often serving as the sponsor.
Read: TamadaAlso part of it, and being written: Best man (The groom's chief supporter.), Koumbaros (The Greek sponsor and best man.), Padrino (The Hispanic wedding sponsor.), Giving away the bride (The father at the altar.), Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines (The Filipino sponsors.), Chinese tea ceremony (Serving tea to elders.).
In many Western weddings it is the father, but it can be both parents, a mother, a friend or nobody. The custom is optional, and civil celebrants are used to many arrangements.
He supports the groom, looks after the rings, organises the bachelor party and gives a speech. In some places the role is called the groomsman of honour or the koumbaro.
In Greece, Spain, Latin America and the Balkans, the couple choose sponsors, called koumbaros, padrinos or kum, who take a ceremonial part and a lifelong role as friends of the marriage.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa traditionally yes, though many couples now live on their own. In some societies, such as the Minangkabau of Indonesia, the groom joins the bride's family.
Most countries require at least one or two witnesses at a civil or religious wedding, with rules that vary. Check the registrar in your country.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
The traditions written up so far, best known first.
🇮🇹 Rome, ItalyWeddings in ancient Rome
The religious ceremonies and attire that marked a union in the city of Rome before the rise of Christianity.Rite · The weeks before
🇺🇦 UkraineSong about the RushnykПісня про рушник (Pisnia pro rushnyk)
A Ukrainian song that celebrates the embroidered cloth used in weddings and family life.Performance · The ceremony
🇬🇷 Crete, GreecePentozaliΠεντοζάλης
The vigorous Cretan war dance of high jumps and improvisation that marks the wedding procession.Performance · Procession and arrival
🇩🇪 Hamburg, Germany and 3 moreWimpelווימפל
A linen sash made from a baby boy's circumcision cloth that binds the Torah scroll.Adornment · The weeks before
🇬🇧 United KingdomQuaichcuach
A shallow two-handled cup used in Scottish weddings to share a drink and symbolise union.Feast custom · The ceremony
🇩🇰 Copenhagen, Denmark and 2 moreKransekakekransekage
A towering almond ring cake central to Scandinavian wedding and holiday traditions.Feast custom · Reception, dance and gifts
🇺🇦 Ukraine and 2 moreRushnykрушник (Ukrainian), ручнік (Belarusian), ручник/рушник (Russian)
The embroidered linen cloth that marks life stages and guides the couple through the wedding ceremony in East Slavic culAdornment · The weeks before
🇦🇹 Austria and 4 moreDirndl
The bodice, skirt and apron dress worn by brides in the German-speaking Alps.Attire · The ceremony
🇮🇹 Sicily, ItalyFuitina
A Sicilian elopement custom used to force family consent for marriage through presumed sexual intercourse.Betrothal · The weeks before
🇫🇷 France and 5 moreProxy marriage
A union where one or both partners are absent and represented by another person.Vow · The ceremony
🇬🇧 Edinburgh, United KingdomLuckenbooth brooch
A Scottish heart-shaped silver token of love and protection worn at weddings.Adornment · Engagement and betrothal
🇷🇺 RussiaLoving cup
A large shared drinking vessel with two handles used in Christian rites and weddingsFeast custom · The wedding feast
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 3 moreBedding ceremony
The public ritual of placing the newlyweds in their marital bed to witness and seal the marriage.Rite · The ceremony
🇱🇹 Lithuania and 1 moreLithuanian wedding songsvestuvinės dainos
The polyphonic songs and weeping rituals that mark a Lithuanian bride's transition to her new family.Performance · Engagement and betrothal
🇫🇷 FrancePosthumous marriage in France
A legal union authorized by the French President when one partner dies before the wedding takes place.Vow · The weeks before
🇬🇷 Greece and 2 moreEngagement party
A gathering to announce a new engagement and introduce the two families before the wedding.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇫🇷 Paris, FranceGlobe de mariée
A glass bell jar used in France to hold the bride's bouquet and preserve family memories.Adornment · The weeks before
🇺🇦 Chernivtsi, Ukraine and 1 moreVyshyvanka DayДень вишиванки
The annual celebration where people wear embroidered shirts to show national unity and identitySetting
🇵🇱 Poland and 1 moreBadchenבּדחן (badkhn)
The Ashkenazi Jewish wedding entertainer and master of ceremonies who guides the couple through ritual stages with song Performance · Engagement and betrothal
🇩🇪 Hamburg, Germany and 1 morePosthumous marriage in Germany
A legal rite that joined a living woman to a deceased soldier for state benefits.Vow · After the wedding
🇷🇺 RussiaRussian wedding traditionsРусская свадьба
A multi-day celebration blending Orthodox crowning, ransom games, and lively toasting in Russia.Rite · Engagement and betrothal
🇨🇭 Zurich, SwitzerlandSame-sex marriage in Switzerland
The legal recognition of marriage for same-sex couples following a national referendum.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 1 moreLovespoonLlwy garu
A carved wooden spoon given as a romantic gift to show skill and intent.Adornment · Engagement and betrothal
🇩🇪 Berlin, Germany and 5 morePolterabend
The German pre-wedding evening where guests smash porcelain to bring luck to the couple.Blessing · The eve
🇵🇱 Poland and 6 moreKolachколач (kolach), калач (kalach), kołacz, colac, kalács
A braided or ring-shaped bread that marks weddings and major holidays across Eastern Europe.Feast custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 3 moreMarriage bond
A financial guarantee posted to prove a couple was legally free to marry before the ceremony took place.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇪🇸 Spain and 2 moreWedding cord
A satin loop placed around the couple to symbolize their lifelong union in Catholic weddings.Rite · The ceremony
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 5 moreGroomsman
A male attendant who supports the groom and assists guests at a wedding.Family role · Finding a match
🇫🇮 Finland and 5 moreBanns of marriagekuulutukset avioliittoon (Finnish)
The public announcement of an impending marriage in church or town hall to allow for legal objections.Vow · The weeks before
🇷🇺 Russia and 5 moreBread and salt
A traditional welcome offering of bread and salt to guests or newlyweds in Slavic, Baltic, and Balkan cultures.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇮🇸 IcelandIcelandic weddings
A blend of church ceremony and multi-day feasting that marks the union of two people in Iceland.Feast custom · The ceremony
🇭🇺 HungaryVőfély
The Hungarian wedding host who guides the couple through rites, speeches, and traditions.Family role · Finding a match
🇮🇹 ItalyConfarreatio
The ancient Roman patrician marriage rite marked by sharing a sacred emmer cake.Rite · The ceremony
🇩🇪 Germany and 4 moreDower
A share of the husband's property set aside to secure a woman's life if he dies first.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 2 moreQuaker wedding
A silent ceremony where Friends witness each other's vows without clergy or rigid rituals.Rite · The weeks before
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 4 moreHumanist wedding
A non-religious marriage ceremony led by a trained humanist officiant, celebrated in many countries worldwide.Rite · The ceremony
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 3 moreCivil ceremony
A secular marriage rite performed by a government official at a licensed venue.Vow · The ceremony
🇺🇦 Ukraine and 4 moreKorovaiкоровай (Ukrainian), каравай (Russian), кравай (Bulgarian)
A large round braided bread shared at weddings to bless the couple and unite the community.Feast custom · The ceremony
🇳🇱 NetherlandsKnottekistje
A silver Frisian box that replaced a knotted cloth as the token of engagement.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇧 United KingdomBlackening
A messy pre-wedding prank where friends cover the couple in sticky substances and parade them through town.Play · The weeks before
🇪🇸 Spain and 2 moreLas arrasLas arras matrimoniales
Thirteen coins exchanged by the couple to symbolize provision and trust in a Christian marriage.Rite · The ceremony
🇩🇪 Germany and 5 moreMorganatic marriageEhe zur linken Hand
A union between people of unequal rank that bars the spouse and children from inheriting titles or throne rights.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
🇳🇱 Amsterdam, Netherlands and 5 moreSame-sex marriage
The legal union of two people of the same sex or gender, recognized in dozens of countries.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 5 moreRing fingerdigitus annularis
The fourth digit of the hand where wedding and engagement rings are traditionally worn.Attire · The ceremony
🇮🇪 Ireland and 3 moreBachelor's Day
The custom that lets women propose to men on Leap DayBetrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇷 Greece and 1 moreAnastenariaΑναστενάρια (Greek), Нестинарство (Bulgarian)
A barefoot firewalking ritual performed by Orthodox Christian communities in Greece and Bulgaria.Rite · The weeks before
🇮🇪 Galway, Ireland and 1 moreMarriage stone
A carved stone bearing the initials and date of a newly married couple, placed on a building to mark their union.Adornment · After the wedding
🇬🇷 Athens, GreeceSame-sex marriage in GreeceΟμοφυλοφιλικός γάμος (Omofylofilikos gamos)
The legal recognition of marriage between two people of the same sex, effective since February 2024.Vow · Engagement and betrothal
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
Every week: one wedding tradition from somewhere new, the wedding days coming up around the world, and one idea explained.
