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EveryShaadi

The wedding feast, the cake and the toast

A wedding is a meal before it is anything else, and in much of the world the feast is the main event.

A wedding is a meal before it is anything else, and in much of the world the feast is the main event. Hundreds of guests may be fed, special dishes are cooked by relatives or hired chefs, and set moments such as the first bite, the cutting of the cake and the toast mark the day. The food carries wishes: sweetness, plenty, fertility, long life, and respect for the guests.

Food as a gift

Feeding guests well is a duty of the hosts. In India the wedding meal may include dozens of dishes, a vegetarian menu in many Hindu and Jain families, and sweets such as ladoo, jalebi and rasgulla. In Pakistan, the main meal may be biryani, korma and kheer. In Ethiopia and Eritrea the guests share injera and wat, and in Georgia the supra is led by a toastmaster, the tamada. Eating together is a sign that the two families have become one household.

The cake and the sweet

The tiered cake, with the couple cutting the first slice together, is a Western habit that has spread worldwide, sometimes in the shape of a local dessert. Other cultures have their own sweet: the Greek koufeta (sugared almonds), the Italian confetti, the Indian mithai, the Moroccan briouats and pastries, the Chinese tangyuan, sweet glutinous dumplings, and the Filipino and Polish bread. Sugar signals sweetness in the marriage, and sugared almonds are given to guests in many countries, often in odd numbers.

The toast and the shared cup

A toast to the couple is made across Europe and the Americas, usually by the best man, the parents and friends. In Georgia the tamada proposes many toasts in a set order. Some communities have a shared cup: the Jewish couple drink wine, the Japanese couple drink sake in san-san-kudo, and the Armenian couple eat bread and salt. In dry communities, juice, tea, milk, sherbet and coffee play the role. Beverage customs, including no alcohol, are matters of faith and personal choice.

Money, scale and change

The feast can be the largest cost of the wedding. Families across the world save for years, share the cost among relatives, or ask guests for gifts of money to help pay. Today couples are trimming the guest list, choosing a buffet or a street-food stall, and sometimes holding a smaller meal for family and a larger party later. Food allergies, diets and halal, kosher or vegetarian needs are now taken seriously. In many places leftover food is collected for charity.

The wedding feast, the cake and the toast around the world

🇮🇳 India

A North Indian wedding meal often includes dal makhani, paneer, breads and sweets, served buffet-style, and the groom's family is traditionally served first. In the South, a sadya or feast is served on a banana leaf, with the host family serving the guests.

Sadya, being written

🇧🇩 Bangladesh

The bou bhat is the meal the groom's family gives for the bride after the wedding, and the biye barir meal at the bride's home includes rice, meat, fish and sweets. Guests are served in rounds.

Bengali cuisine, being written

🇮🇩 Indonesia

In many Javanese weddings the couple feed each other the dulang, a ritual of feeding each other yellow rice and the delicacies. Large meals are served from stalls, and the guests give an envelope of money.

Javanese culture, being written

🇻🇳 Vietnam

The wedding banquet in the restaurant has many courses, among them roast chicken, soup and sticky rice, and the couple go from table to table with the glasses. Red envelopes are given to the couple.

Vietnamese cuisine, being written

🇨🇳 China

The banquet, usually of eight to ten courses, includes fish for abundance, a whole chicken for the phoenix and dragon, and sweet lotus seeds and dates for children. The couple tour the tables to toast and may change clothes several times.

Chinese marriage, being written

🇰🇷 South Korea

After the ceremony the couple and guests eat noodles, called guksu, a symbol of long life, in the traditional banquet, the jan-chi guksu. Today the hall serves buffet, and the couple exchange cups of wine.

Janchi guksu, being written

Compare all 16 places

Traditions to start with

Also part of it, and being written: Wedding cake (The cake and its history.), Supra (The Georgian feast led by a tamada.), Sadya (The Kerala banquet on a banana leaf.), Chinese marriage (The multi-course banquet.), Black cake (The Caribbean wedding fruitcake.), Lovo (The Fijian earth oven.), Jordan almonds (Sugared almonds.).

Questions people ask

What is a wedding breakfast?

In Britain it is the meal after the ceremony, whatever the time of day.

Why are sugared almonds given?

They are a sweetness blessing and a favour given in Greece, Italy, France and other countries. The bitter almond inside the sugar is read as the part of life that is not sweet.

Who pays for the feast?

It varies: the bride's family in some places, the groom's in others, both families, the couple or the guests through gifts. Money customs are covered on the money page.

Can a wedding feast be informal?

Yes, many couples now choose a picnic, street-food stalls or a potluck, and it is a matter of what the families wish.

About this page

Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.

The wedding feast, the cake and the toast on EveryShaadi

The traditions written up so far, best known first.

🇮🇳 IndiaOdia Hindu weddingBahaghara (ଓଡ଼ିଆ ବାହାଘର) The traditional Hindu marriage ceremony of the Odia people in Odisha, India.Rite · Engagement and betrothal 🇳🇬 NigeriaIgbo traditional marriageIgba Nkwu The multi-stage Igbo marriage process that formalizes a union through family negotiations and the wine-carrying ceremonyRite · Finding a match 🇨🇦 CanadaStag and doe A Canadian fundraiser where guests pay to help the couple cover wedding costs.Feast custom · Engagement and betrothal 🇷🇸 Serbia and 2 moreKoloКоло A South Slavic circle dance performed at weddings and social gatherings across the Balkans.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇷🇺 RussiaRussian wedding traditionsРусская свадьба A multi-day celebration blending Orthodox crowning, ransom games, and lively toasting in Russia.Rite · Engagement and betrothal 🇺🇸 United StatesNavajo wedding ceremony A Navajo marriage ritual centred on harmony, family union, and nature inside a Hogan.Rite · The eve 🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 2 moreWhite wedding A formal Western ceremony marked by a white bridal gown and traditional Christian rituals.Attire · Engagement and betrothal 🇸🇪 SwedenKrokan A multi-tiered almond pastry tower joined by caramel and decorated with marzipan roses, served at Swedish weddings.Feast custom · The wedding feast 🇰🇷 South Korea and 1 morePyebaek폐백 A Korean post-ceremony ritual where the couple bows to the groom's parents and shares symbolic foods.Blessing · After the wedding 🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 3 moreCare cloth A linen or silk cloth held over the heads of a bride and groom during a Christian wedding blessing.Attire · The ceremony 🇵🇱 Poland and 6 moreKolachколач (kolach), калач (kalach), kołacz, colac, kalács A braided or ring-shaped bread that marks weddings and major holidays across Eastern Europe.Feast custom · Engagement and betrothal 🇩🇪 GermanyGroßvatertanz A traditional Saxon dance played at the end of wedding celebrations to mark the finale.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇮🇳 IndiaMeitei weddingLuhongba (ꯂꯨꯍꯣꯡꯕ) The traditional union of the Meitei people, marked by clan exogamy and specific courtship rituals.Rite · Finding a match 🇪🇬 Egypt and 5 moreArab weddingزفاف or فرح or عرس A series of family-centered rites and processions that mark marriage across the Arab world.Rite · Finding a match 🇨🇳 China and 1 moreGhost marriage冥婚 (mínghūn) A union arranged for deceased individuals to ensure harmony in the afterlife and care in this one.Rite · Finding a match 🇮🇳 IndiaTelugu Hindu weddingతెలుగు వివాహ వేడుక A multi-day Telugu Hindu marriage marked by seven vows around fire and family rituals.Rite · Finding a match 🇺🇦 UkraineTraditional Ukrainian weddingТрадиційне українське весілля A multi-day sequence of folk rites, bread baking and church vows that marks the transition from maidenhood to married liRite · Finding a match 🇮🇱 Israel and 3 moreChuppahחֻפָּה (ḥuppā) The four-poster canopy that marks the Jewish wedding ceremony and symbolizes the couple's new home.Setting · The ceremony 🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 5 moreWedding superstitions Traditional beliefs about luck and omens that shape wedding rituals across culturesAttire · The weeks before 🇺🇦 Ukraine and 4 moreKorovaiкоровай (Ukrainian), каравай (Russian), кравай (Bulgarian) A large round braided bread shared at weddings to bless the couple and unite the community.Feast custom · The ceremony 🇮🇳 India and 1 moreAiburo Bhaatআইবুড়ো ভাত The final bachelor feast for the bride and groom before their Bengali weddingFeast custom · The weeks before 🇧🇩 Bangladesh and 1 moreBengali Muslim weddingবাঙালি মুসলিম বিয়ে A multi-day Bengali Muslim marriage blending Islamic rites with local folk traditions.Rite · The weeks before 🇮🇳 India and 2 moreHindu weddingvivaha (विवाह) The traditional marriage ceremony for Hindus, centered on sacred fire and seven vows.Rite · Engagement and betrothal 🇧🇳 BruneiBrunei Malay wedding The sequence of ceremonies that mark the engagement and marriage of Brunei Malays.Rite · Finding a match 🇮🇳 IndiaZoroastrian wedding A Zoroastrian marriage ceremony featuring hand-fastening, rice sprinkling, and shared meals.Rite · Engagement and betrothal 🇸🇾 Syria and 3 moreAssyrian wedding Marriage ceremonies blending ancient Assyrian rites with modern cultural practices among the Assyrian people.Rite · Finding a match 🇮🇳 IndiaSaptapadiसप्तपदी (Saptapadī) The seven steps or rounds around the sacred fire that complete a Hindu marriage.Rite · The ceremony 🇮🇳 Delhi, India and 4 moreSindoorसिंदूर (Hindi) The vermilion powder a Hindu husband applies to his wife's hair parting to mark her marriage.Adornment · Engagement and betrothal 🇸🇾 Syria and 3 moreMystery of Crowning The crowning ritual in Eastern Christian weddings that marks the couple as king and queen.Rite · The ceremony 🇵🇱 Kraków, PolandWedding of the Weddings A Polish annual gathering for couples who chose alcohol-free wedding receptions.Feast custom · The ceremony 🇰🇪 Kenya and 1 moreAyie The Luo bride price ceremony where the mother accepts payment and agrees to the marriage.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal 🇳🇴 NorwayEsbat A monthly Wiccan gathering held around the moon phases for ritual and communityBlessing · The ceremony 🇮🇩 IndonesiaSlametan A communal Javanese feast that brings neighbors together for peace and social unity.Feast custom · The weeks before 🇵🇭 Cebu, PhilippinesCourtship in the Philippines A traditional Filipino courtship marked by serenade, service, and family involvement.Betrothal · Finding a match 🇩🇿 Algeria and 3 moreSebibaسبيبة (Arabic), ⵙⴱⵉⴱⴰ (Tifinagh) The Tuareg New Year dance and festival held in Djanet to mark the end of a chaotic transition period.Performance · The weeks before 🇨🇳 China and 1 moreTuanshan團扇 (tuánshàn) A rigid silk fan held by the bride to hide her face before revealing it to the groom.Adornment · The ceremony 🇷🇴 Romania and 5 moreKlezmerקלעזמער The instrumental wedding music of Ashkenazi Jews, blending Eastern European and Jewish ritual melodies.Performance · Engagement and betrothal 🇦🇺 Australia and 4 moreMeat raffle A pub tradition where tickets are sold for a chance to win meat prizes for local teams or charity.Feast custom · Reception, dance and gifts 🇮🇳 India and 1 moreLuddi A circle dance of Punjab performed at weddings and celebrations by men and women.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇷🇺 Russia and 5 moreRadonitsaРа́доница (Russian), Прóводи (Ukrainian), Ра́даўніца (Belarusian) The Orthodox memorial day that lifts fasting restrictions and officially opens the wedding season.Feast custom · The weeks before 🇬🇭 Ghana and 1 moreBorborbor A lively drumming and dance tradition of the Ewe people in Ghana and TogoPerformance · The wedding feast 🇵🇱 Poland and 5 moreDożynki A Slavic harvest festival where farmers bring the last sheaf of grain to the village in a ceremonial wreath.Feast custom · After the wedding 🇺🇬 UgandaBakisimba A lively Baganda circle dance performed at weddings and royal ceremonies in Uganda.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇬🇧 Newquay, United KingdomTroyl A Cornish barn dance or social gathering featuring music, song, and communal dancing.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇹🇷 Turkey and 5 moreKarsilamaskarşılama (Turkish), καρσιλαμάς (Greek) A face-to-face folk dance in 9/8 time that marks the joy of wedding gatherings across the Aegean.Performance · The wedding feast 🇵🇱 Poland and 3 moreŚmigus-Dyngus The Easter Monday water splashing and willow whipping tradition of Central EuropeRite · The weeks before 🇻🇳 Hội An, VietnamBài Chòi A sung card game played in huts during Vietnamese New Year festivalsPerformance · The weeks before 🇷🇸 Serbia and 5 moreČočekčočек (Serbian/Macedonian), кючек (Bulgarian), çyçek/qyqek (Albanian), sistemul (Romanian), Tsifteteli (Greek) A Balkan wedding dance with a distinctive nine-beat rhythm, kept alive by Romani musicians and village celebrations.Performance · The wedding feast

Photo credits on this page

The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.

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