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The wedding feast, the cake and the toast

A wedding is a meal before it is anything else, and in much of the world the feast is the main event.

A wedding is a meal before it is anything else, and in much of the world the feast is the main event. Hundreds of guests may be fed, special dishes are cooked by relatives or hired chefs, and set moments such as the first bite, the cutting of the cake and the toast mark the day. The food carries wishes: sweetness, plenty, fertility, long life, and respect for the guests.

Food as a gift

Feeding guests well is a duty of the hosts. In India the wedding meal may include dozens of dishes, a vegetarian menu in many Hindu and Jain families, and sweets such as ladoo, jalebi and rasgulla. In Pakistan, the main meal may be biryani, korma and kheer. In Ethiopia and Eritrea the guests share injera and wat, and in Georgia the supra is led by a toastmaster, the tamada. Eating together is a sign that the two families have become one household.

The cake and the sweet

The tiered cake, with the couple cutting the first slice together, is a Western habit that has spread worldwide, sometimes in the shape of a local dessert. Other cultures have their own sweet: the Greek koufeta (sugared almonds), the Italian confetti, the Indian mithai, the Moroccan briouats and pastries, the Chinese tangyuan, sweet glutinous dumplings, and the Filipino and Polish bread. Sugar signals sweetness in the marriage, and sugared almonds are given to guests in many countries, often in odd numbers.

The toast and the shared cup

A toast to the couple is made across Europe and the Americas, usually by the best man, the parents and friends. In Georgia the tamada proposes many toasts in a set order. Some communities have a shared cup: the Jewish couple drink wine, the Japanese couple drink sake in san-san-kudo, and the Armenian couple eat bread and salt. In dry communities, juice, tea, milk, sherbet and coffee play the role. Beverage customs, including no alcohol, are matters of faith and personal choice.

Money, scale and change

The feast can be the largest cost of the wedding. Families across the world save for years, share the cost among relatives, or ask guests for gifts of money to help pay. Today couples are trimming the guest list, choosing a buffet or a street-food stall, and sometimes holding a smaller meal for family and a larger party later. Food allergies, diets and halal, kosher or vegetarian needs are now taken seriously. In many places leftover food is collected for charity.

The wedding feast, the cake and the toast around the world

🇮🇳 India

A North Indian wedding meal often includes dal makhani, paneer, breads and sweets, served buffet-style, and the groom's family is traditionally served first. In the South, a sadya or feast is served on a banana leaf, with the host family serving the guests.

Sadya, being written

🇧🇩 Bangladesh

The bou bhat is the meal the groom's family gives for the bride after the wedding, and the biye barir meal at the bride's home includes rice, meat, fish and sweets. Guests are served in rounds.

Bengali cuisine, being written

🇮🇩 Indonesia

In many Javanese weddings the couple feed each other the dulang, a ritual of feeding each other yellow rice and the delicacies. Large meals are served from stalls, and the guests give an envelope of money.

Javanese culture, being written

🇻🇳 Vietnam

The wedding banquet in the restaurant has many courses, among them roast chicken, soup and sticky rice, and the couple go from table to table with the glasses. Red envelopes are given to the couple.

Vietnamese cuisine, being written

🇨🇳 China

The banquet, usually of eight to ten courses, includes fish for abundance, a whole chicken for the phoenix and dragon, and sweet lotus seeds and dates for children. The couple tour the tables to toast and may change clothes several times.

Chinese marriage, being written

🇰🇷 South Korea

After the ceremony the couple and guests eat noodles, called guksu, a symbol of long life, in the traditional banquet, the jan-chi guksu. Today the hall serves buffet, and the couple exchange cups of wine.

Janchi guksu, being written

Compare all 16 places

Traditions to start with

Also part of it, and being written: Wedding cake (The cake and its history.), Supra (The Georgian feast led by a tamada.), Sadya (The Kerala banquet on a banana leaf.), Chinese marriage (The multi-course banquet.), Black cake (The Caribbean wedding fruitcake.), Lovo (The Fijian earth oven.), Jordan almonds (Sugared almonds.).

Questions people ask

What is a wedding breakfast?

In Britain it is the meal after the ceremony, whatever the time of day.

Why are sugared almonds given?

They are a sweetness blessing and a favour given in Greece, Italy, France and other countries. The bitter almond inside the sugar is read as the part of life that is not sweet.

Who pays for the feast?

It varies: the bride's family in some places, the groom's in others, both families, the couple or the guests through gifts. Money customs are covered on the money page.

Can a wedding feast be informal?

Yes, many couples now choose a picnic, street-food stalls or a potluck, and it is a matter of what the families wish.

About this page

Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.

The wedding feast, the cake and the toast on EveryShaadi

The traditions written up so far, best known first.

🇲🇦 Imilchil, MoroccoImilchil Marriage FestivalAgdoud N'Oulmghenni A Berber marriage festival in Morocco where tribes gather to arrange unions and celebrate with music and dance.Betrothal · Finding a match 🇵🇸 Ramallah, Palestine and 4 moreDabkeدبكة A Levantine line dance performed at weddings to celebrate union and community.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇮🇱 IsraelSeudat nissuinSeudat nissuin (סעודת נישואין) The Jewish wedding meal blessed with wine and bread, followed by seven days of celebration.Feast custom · The ceremony 🇷🇺 RussiaEastern Orthodox marriage The Byzantine Rite ceremony where a priest crowns the couple to seal their union in Christ.Rite · Engagement and betrothal 🇰🇷 Seoul, South Korea and 1 moreMarriage in KoreaKorean marriage (결혼) A look at how Korean weddings blend ancient Confucian rites with modern legal practices.Rite · Finding a match 🇮🇳 IndiaShamianaশামিয়ানা (Bengali), شامیانہ (Urdu) A South Asian ceremonial tent with removable walls used for wedding feasts and outdoor gatherings.Setting · The wedding feast 🇰🇿 Kazakhstan and 1 moreKazakh wedding ceremonyҮйлену тойы (Üilenu toiy) The multi-stage Kazakh marriage process featuring the face-revealing feast and the Islamic religious contract.Rite · Engagement and betrothal 🇨🇭 Switzerland and 5 moreChicken DanceDer Ententanz A novelty polka song and accompanying hand movements performed at weddings and festivals.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇹🇷 TurkeyHoronχορόν (Pontic Greek) The fast shoulder-shimmying line dance of the Eastern Black Sea Region performed at weddings and festivalsPerformance · The wedding feast 🇺🇸 New York, United StatesSlave marriages in the United States The unions formed by enslaved African Americans before and after the abolition of slavery in the US.Rite · The ceremony 🇮🇳 IndiaWanvun A Kashmiri choral singing style performed before weddings and religious ritesPerformance · The weeks before 🇪🇬 Egypt and 3 moreZaffaزفّة A lively musical procession that marks the start of wedding festivities in Arab culture.Performance · The weeks before 🇿🇦 South AfricaUmemulo The Zulu coming of age ceremony that marks a woman as ready for marriageRite · The weeks before 🇬🇪 Georgia and 1 moreTamadaთამადა The toastmaster who leads the Georgian supra and sets the rhythm of a wedding feast.Feast custom · The wedding feast 🇮🇳 IndiaOppanaഒപ്പന A circle dance and song tradition of the Mappila Muslim community in Kerala weddingsPerformance · Engagement and betrothal 🇬🇷 Greece and 1 moreKalamatianosΚαλαματιανός A popular Greek folk dance performed in a chain at weddings and social gatheringsPerformance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇰🇷 South Korea and 5 moreBlessing ceremony of the Unification ChurchHoly Marriage Blessing Ceremony (축복결혼식) A large-scale marriage rededication or new union ceremony that engrafts couples into a sinless lineage.Rite · Engagement and betrothal 🇮🇩 Indonesia and 2 moreKenduri A communal feast and prayer gathering held by Javanese and Malay communities to mark life events.Feast custom · The weeks before 🇦🇴 Luanda, Angola and 4 moreKizomba A slow, sensual partner dance from Angola that turns wedding parties into intimate social gatherings.Performance · The wedding feast 🇫🇷 FrancePièce montée A sculptural French dessert centerpiece made of nougat, sugar, and pastry for wedding banquets.Feast custom · Reception, dance and gifts 🇲🇱 MaliWeddings in Mali Multi-day Malian wedding traditions blending Islamic rites, civil law, and local customs with bazin attire.Rite · Engagement and betrothal 🇹🇷 Kayseri, Turkey and 4 moreHalay A traditional line and circle dance performed across Turkey and surrounding regions at weddings.Performance · The ceremony 🇪🇹 Addis Ababa, EthiopiaWedding customs in Ethiopia A collection of diverse marriage rites across Ethiopian tribes and the Orthodox Christian community.Rite · Finding a match 🇸🇳 Senegal and 2 moreSabar The Senegalese drum that drives the music and dance at Wolof weddingsPerformance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇪🇹 EthiopiaEskistaእስክስታ The shoulder dance of the Amhara people that brings joy to Ethiopian weddingsPerformance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇮🇱 Jerusalem, Israel and 3 moreJewish wedding The ceremony and laws that bind a couple in Jewish marriage, from the canopy to the glass.Rite · Engagement and betrothal 🇮🇳 IndiaChaklong wedding The traditional Ahom marriage system involving rice powder mandalas and ancestral rituals.Rite · Finding a match 🇮🇷 Iran and 1 moreIranian weddingمراسم عروسی در ایران A multi-stage celebration rooted in Zoroastrian tradition and adapted by Islamic customs across Iran.Rite · Finding a match 🇰🇷 South Korea and 1 morePyebaek폐백 A Korean post-ceremony ritual where the couple bows to the groom's parents and shares symbolic foods.Blessing · After the wedding 🇺🇸 Pittsburgh, United States and 1 moreCookie table A display of assorted homemade cookies served alongside the wedding cake at a reception.Feast custom · Reception, dance and gifts 🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 3 moreCare cloth A linen or silk cloth held over the heads of a bride and groom during a Christian wedding blessing.Attire · The ceremony 🇺🇸 United StatesNavajo wedding ceremony A Navajo marriage ritual centred on harmony, family union, and nature inside a Hogan.Rite · The eve 🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 2 moreWhite wedding A formal Western ceremony marked by a white bridal gown and traditional Christian rituals.Attire · Engagement and betrothal 🇲🇽 Oaxaca, MexicoOaxacan wedding A multi-day Catholic celebration in Oaxaca featuring mole, mezcal, and communal dancing.Feast custom · Engagement and betrothal 🇮🇳 IndiaOdia Hindu weddingBahaghara (ଓଡ଼ିଆ ବାହାଘର) The traditional Hindu marriage ceremony of the Odia people in Odisha, India.Rite · Engagement and betrothal 🇷🇴 Romania and 7 moreHorahora (Romanian), horo (Bulgarian), oro (Macedonian), horah (Hebrew) A circle dance held at weddings across Southeast Europe and among Jewish communities worldwide.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇸🇪 SwedenKrokan A multi-tiered almond pastry tower joined by caramel and decorated with marzipan roses, served at Swedish weddings.Feast custom · The wedding feast 🇳🇬 Nigeria and 1 moreHausa traditional marriage The Islamic marriage rites of the Hausa people in Northern Nigeria and Niger.Rite · Finding a match 🇷🇺 RussiaRussian wedding traditionsРусская свадьба A multi-day celebration blending Orthodox crowning, ransom games, and lively toasting in Russia.Rite · Engagement and betrothal 🇦🇲 Armenia and 1 moreKochariՔոչարի A circle dance from the Armenian Highlands that marks weddings and community gatherings.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇮🇱 Israel and 2 moreSheva Brachotשבע ברכות The seven blessings recited during Jewish weddings and the subsequent festive week.Blessing · The ceremony 🇱🇹 Lithuania and 1 moreLithuanian wedding songsvestuvinės dainos The polyphonic songs and weeping rituals that mark a Lithuanian bride's transition to her new family.Performance · Engagement and betrothal 🇨🇦 CanadaStag and doe A Canadian fundraiser where guests pay to help the couple cover wedding costs.Feast custom · Engagement and betrothal 🇷🇸 Serbia and 2 moreKoloКоло A South Slavic circle dance performed at weddings and social gatherings across the Balkans.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts 🇮🇱 Israel and 2 moreKetubahכְּתוּבָּה The Jewish marriage contract that outlines the groom's financial and personal obligations to the bride.Vow · Engagement and betrothal 🇷🇺 Russia and 5 moreBread and salt A traditional welcome offering of bread and salt to guests or newlyweds in Slavic, Baltic, and Balkan cultures.Feast custom · The weeks before 🇦🇿 AzerbaijanAzerbaijani wedding traditionsAzərbaycanın toy adətləri The multi-step family rituals of Azerbaijani weddings, from matchmaking to the henna night.Rite · Finding a match 🇳🇬 NigeriaYoruba traditional weddingIgbeyawo The multi-day Yoruba marriage ceremony featuring traditional attire, family introductions, and the Eru Iyawo gift list.Attire · Engagement and betrothal

Photo credits on this page

The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.

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Every week: one wedding tradition from somewhere new, the wedding days coming up around the world, and one idea explained.