A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house.
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A wedding joins two families as much as two people, and its customs spell out who does what: who asks, who gives the bride away, who stands as witness, who sits where and who is welcomed into whose house. This page looks at the roles of parents, witnesses, best men and bridesmaids, godparents and in-laws across the world, and at how they are changing.
In the Western church wedding, the father walks the bride down the aisle and is asked who gives this woman, a relic of the time when a daughter passed from one man's authority to another. Many couples now walk together, or have both parents or a mother walk the bride. In Hindu weddings the kanyadaan, the gift of the daughter, is made by the bride's parents, and in Jewish weddings both parents walk each partner to the chuppah. In Muslim weddings the bride's guardian, the wali, is traditionally present at the nikah, and in China the parents are served tea by the couple as a sign of respect.
Every legal wedding needs witnesses, and many cultures give the role to a trusted friend or relative. The Western best man, with his groomsmen, descends from the friends who helped a groom in the days of capture, and the bridesmaids from the women who dressed in the same clothes as the bride to confuse evil spirits. The koumbaro in Greece, the padrinos in Spain and Latin America, and the kum in the Balkans act as sponsors who hold the crowns, rings or cords, and become lifelong godparents to the couple and their children.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa the bride moves to the groom's family home, so the mother-in-law and sisters-in-law are central, and rituals such as the welcome with a lamp or a bowl of rice mark the arrival. Where the groom's side pays, as in parts of Europe, or the bride's side pays, as in India, who pays can shape the relationship. Tensions over the guest list, the seating and the customs are common, and families often solve them with clear talk and compromise.
Couples increasingly plan, and pay for, their own weddings, and give parents and friends of any gender a role. Fathers and mothers walk together, the best man may be a woman, and bridesmaids may include men. Blended and single-parent families adapt the roles to fit, and same-sex couples have created new ways of dividing them. The old forms still matter to many families, and the best weddings often include a nod to them.
In a Hindu wedding the bride's parents perform kanyadaan, placing her hand in the groom's, and the groom's mother welcomes the couple at the door with a lamp and rice. The groom's brother and the bride's brother have small ritual duties, such as the bride's brother pouring puffed rice into her hands.
Read: KanyadanaAt the nikah the bride is asked for her consent through her wali and two witnesses. The rukhsati, her ceremonial departure from her parents' home, is an emotional moment with prayers, and the groom's family receives her.
Rukhsati, being writtenNinongs and ninangs, sponsors who are often wealthy or respected friends of the parents, act as witnesses and give the couple gifts. The principal sponsors sign the register and hold the veil and cord used in the ceremony.
Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines, being writtenThe couple serve tea to the parents and elders, who give red envelopes and jewellery in return. The ceremony shows respect for the family and the welcome of the bride into her husband's household.
Chinese tea ceremony, being writtenAt a Shinto wedding the go-betweens, the nakodo, once arranged and introduced the match, and the families toast each other with sake in the sansan-kudo. The family of each side sit facing each other at the ceremony.
Nakōdo, being writtenThe tamada, a toastmaster, runs the feast, and the groom's family brings a gift of wine to the bride's, with the best man, called the mkhlis, close to the groom. The wedding is held in a church with a godparent often serving as the sponsor.
Read: TamadaAlso part of it, and being written: Best man (The groom's chief supporter.), Koumbaros (The Greek sponsor and best man.), Padrino (The Hispanic wedding sponsor.), Giving away the bride (The father at the altar.), Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines (The Filipino sponsors.), Chinese tea ceremony (Serving tea to elders.).
In many Western weddings it is the father, but it can be both parents, a mother, a friend or nobody. The custom is optional, and civil celebrants are used to many arrangements.
He supports the groom, looks after the rings, organises the bachelor party and gives a speech. In some places the role is called the groomsman of honour or the koumbaro.
In Greece, Spain, Latin America and the Balkans, the couple choose sponsors, called koumbaros, padrinos or kum, who take a ceremonial part and a lifelong role as friends of the marriage.
In much of South Asia, East Asia and Africa traditionally yes, though many couples now live on their own. In some societies, such as the Minangkabau of Indonesia, the groom joins the bride's family.
Most countries require at least one or two witnesses at a civil or religious wedding, with rules that vary. Check the registrar in your country.
Written by the EveryShaadi desk with AI assistance. Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
The traditions written up so far, best known first.
🇰🇿 Kazakhstan and 1 moreKazakh wedding ceremonyҮйлену тойы (Üilenu toiy)
The multi-stage Kazakh marriage process featuring the face-revealing feast and the Islamic religious contract.Rite · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇹 Rome, ItalyWeddings in ancient Rome
The religious ceremonies and attire that marked a union in the city of Rome before the rise of Christianity.Rite · The weeks before
🇮🇳 IndiaNishekam
The Hindu rite of consummation on the first night after marriageRite · The ceremony
🇺🇦 Ukraine and 2 moreRushnykрушник (Ukrainian), ручнік (Belarusian), ручник/рушник (Russian)
The embroidered linen cloth that marks life stages and guides the couple through the wedding ceremony in East Slavic culAdornment · The weeks before
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreToe ring
A silver band worn on the second toe to mark a woman as married in India.Adornment · The ceremony
🇳🇬 Iseyin, Nigeria and 2 moreAso okeAṣọ òkè
Hand-woven cloth worn by the Yoruba for weddings and formal gatheringsAttire · The ceremony
🇮🇳 IndiaSambandam
The traditional matrilineal marriage alliance of Kerala's Nairs and Nambudiris.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇮🇳 India and 2 moreMandapaमण्डप (maṇḍapa)
The pillared pavilion that serves as the stage for Hindu wedding rituals and temple gatherings.Setting · The ceremony
🇲🇦 MoroccoAhidusⴰⵃⵉⴷⵓⵙ (aḥidous)
A collective Berber dance from Morocco performed in circles or lines to celebrate unity and victory.Performance · Reception, dance and gifts
🇬🇪 Georgia and 1 moreTamadaთამადა
The toastmaster who leads the Georgian supra and sets the rhythm of a wedding feast.Feast custom · The wedding feast
🇺🇦 UkraineSong about the RushnykПісня про рушник (Pisnia pro rushnyk)
A Ukrainian song that celebrates the embroidered cloth used in weddings and family life.Performance · The ceremony
🇳🇬 Lagos, Nigeria and 3 moreAso ebiAsọ-Ẹbí
Matching outfits worn by groups to show solidarity at Yoruba weddings and other ceremoniesAttire · The weeks before
🇩🇰 Copenhagen, Denmark and 2 moreKransekakekransekage
A towering almond ring cake central to Scandinavian wedding and holiday traditions.Feast custom · Reception, dance and gifts
🇳🇬 Lagos, Nigeria and 2 moreOwanbeÓwàńbẹ̀
The extravagant Yoruba celebration where music, fashion, and money spraying mark life's milestones.Feast custom · Reception, dance and gifts
🇺🇸 New York, United StatesSlave marriages in the United States
The unions formed by enslaved African Americans before and after the abolition of slavery in the US.Rite · The ceremony
🇫🇯 FijiTabua
A polished sperm whale tooth exchanged as a gift in Fijian weddings and ceremonies.Gift custom · Engagement and betrothal
🇰🇷 Seoul, South Korea and 3 moreBlessing ceremony
The large-scale marriage rite of the Unification Church where couples are matched and blessed by their leaders.Rite · The ceremony
🇬🇭 Ghana and 2 moreKente clothnwentoma
Hand-woven silk and cotton strips from Ghana that mark weddings and graduationsAttire · The ceremony
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreMaithil Vivahमैथिल विवाह
The arranged Hindu marriage of Maithils in the Mithila region, guided by Vedic texts and local customs.Betrothal · Finding a match
🇲🇽 Mexico and 1 moreLa víbora de la mar
A wedding game where the couple stands on chairs while guests form a snake to test their unity.Play · Reception, dance and gifts
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreAlpanaআলপনা (Bengali)
Rice flour floor paintings that bless homes and mark wedding celebrations in Bengal.Adornment · The weeks before
🇮🇳 IndiaOonjal
A decorated swing where the Tamil bride and groom sit to receive family blessings.Blessing · The ceremony
🇨🇾 Cyprus and 2 moreMarriage in Cyprus
A destination for civil and religious weddings that allows interfaith couples to marry outside their home laws.Vow · The ceremony
🇮🇷 Shiraz, Iran and 5 moreUlulation
A high-pitched trilling sound made by women to celebrate weddings and share good news across many cultures.Performance · Procession and arrival
🇰🇷 Seoul, South Korea and 1 moreMarriage in KoreaKorean marriage (결혼)
A look at how Korean weddings blend ancient Confucian rites with modern legal practices.Rite · Finding a match
🇰🇿 KazakhstanBetasharбеташар
The lifting of the bride's veil by the groom's mother during a Kazakh wedding ceremonyRite · The ceremony
🇱🇰 Sri LankaBeena marriage
A pre-Islamic Arabian custom where the husband moves to the wife's home and she keeps her own tent.Betrothal · Engagement and betrothal
🇼🇸 Samoa and 3 moreʻIe tōga
Prestige woven mats exchanged at Samoan weddings to honor family ties and chiefly status.Attire · The ceremony
🇮🇩 IndonesiaUlosᯥᯞᯘᯬ᯲
The hand-woven textile that binds Batak couples in marriage and symbolizes warmth.Attire · The ceremony
🇲🇱 MaliWeddings in Mali
Multi-day Malian wedding traditions blending Islamic rites, civil law, and local customs with bazin attire.Rite · Engagement and betrothal
🇬🇧 United KingdomQuaichcuach
A shallow two-handled cup used in Scottish weddings to share a drink and symbolise union.Feast custom · The ceremony
🇩🇪 Hamburg, Germany and 3 moreWimpelווימפל
A linen sash made from a baby boy's circumcision cloth that binds the Torah scroll.Adornment · The weeks before
🇳🇪 In-Gall, Niger and 2 moreGuérewol
A week-long courtship dance where Wodaabe men display their beauty to win the attention of marriageable women.Rite · The weeks before
🇸🇿 Ludzidzini Royal Village, Eswatini and 1 moreUmhlanga
The annual Swazi and Zulu gathering where young women cut reeds to preserve chastity and offer tribute labour.Rite · The eve
🇱🇦 Laos and 1 moreBaciບາສີ (Lao); บายศรี (Thai)
The wrist-tying ceremony that calls the soul back to restore balance and good luck.Blessing · The ceremony
🇮🇩 Palembang, Indonesia and 2 moreSongketᬲᭀᬂᬓᬾᬢ᭄
A hand-woven brocade cloth patterned with gold or silver threads for traditional weddings in Southeast Asia.Attire · Engagement and betrothal
🇮🇩 Indonesia and 2 moreKenduri
A communal feast and prayer gathering held by Javanese and Malay communities to mark life events.Feast custom · The weeks before
🇪🇬 Egypt and 4 moreWaist beads
Strands of glass or seed worn around the hips to mark womanhood and track body changes in West and North Africa.Adornment · Engagement and betrothal
🇲🇲 MyanmarMarriage in Myanmar
A blend of Buddhist rites, astrological timing, and family negotiations that defines union across Myanmar's diverse ethnRite · Finding a match
🇮🇳 IndiaMadisarமடிசார் (Madisar)
The nine-yard sari drape worn by Tamil Brahmin women during weddings and religious rites.Attire · The ceremony
🇬🇷 Crete, GreecePentozaliΠεντοζάλης
The vigorous Cretan war dance of high jumps and improvisation that marks the wedding procession.Performance · Procession and arrival
🇵🇰 Hunza, PakistanMayoon
A pre-wedding seclusion period in Pakistan where the bride stays away from her groom for up to two weeks.Betrothal · The weeks before
🇿🇦 South AfricaUmemulo
The Zulu coming of age ceremony that marks a woman as ready for marriageRite · The weeks before
🇾🇪 Yemen and 4 moreKafa'ahالكفاءة (al-kafā'ah)
The Islamic legal principle of social and religious equivalence between spouses in marriage.Vow · Finding a match
🇺🇸 United States and 1 moreWedding registry
A service that helps couples share their gift preferences with guests to avoid duplicates and unwanted items.Modern · Engagement and betrothal
🇲🇾 Malaysia and 4 moreBaju Kurungباجو كوروڠ
The traditional blouse and skirt worn by Malay women for weddings and religious ceremoniesAttire · The weeks before
🇮🇳 IndiaTulasi Vivahतुलसी विवाह (Tulasī Vivāha)
A symbolic Hindu wedding uniting the holy basil plant with a stone representing Vishnu.Rite · The weeks before
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
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